The Fear of Punishment

A Punisher fan-fic, written by a friend of Frank

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By Bread - 8/28/2012

The Fear of Punishment

It’s late at night, a man named Marc is sitting in his car, counting a large amount of money. Marc is parked in an empty alley somewhere in New York City. Another man, named Al, approaches and enters Marc’s car, he sits in the passenger seat.

Marc-
Hey bro.

Al-
Hey!--guess who just scored himself some nice coin!

Al pulls out a large roll of 20 dollar bills.

Marc-
Nice! How much?

Al-
Nine-fifty, got most of it off these dumb-ass polish guys that could barely speak English, I gave em’ that cut shit that’s full of baking soda, those dudes so stupid they wouldn’t even be able to tell the difference! How’d you do?

Marc-
I did alright, just a buncha’ college kids that wanna party in the city that never sleeps.

Al-
Yea… hey man, turn on the radio, I wanna listen to somethin’.

Marc turns on the radio, and it is tuned to a local news station and we hear a female reporter already in the middle of a story.

News Reporter-
--with a total body count of 26, the entire Jacovi mob family was brutally murdered by Frank Castle, also known as The Punisher, who is still at large. In other news, Wilson Fisk has been proved innocent--

Marc turns the radio off.

Marc-
I don’t need to listen to that shit.

Al-
Yea…

Marc-
… You ever think about him?

Al-
Who?

Marc-
That Castle guy, the punisher, do you ever think about him?

Al-
Why should I?

Marc-
What do you mean why should you? The guy devotes his entire goddamn life to killing people like us.

Al-
Dude don’t go and freak out and all that shit, the guy’s not gonna come lookin’ for us small-time dealers. Like the chick on the radio said, he’s off killing mob bosses and all that shit.

Marc-
Yea… alright…

Al-
Don’t worry about it bro, the big bad punisher aint’ gonna come down and put you on ice. Now put on some music.

Marc-
Alright.

Marc turns on the radio again and starts flipping through some of the channels. Then we hear a knock on Marc’s window. Marc turns his head to look, and then he gets shot through the window, and killed.

Al-
AAAAWWW SHIT!

Al quickly jumps out of the car, and starts to run down the alley. The shady gunman then fires a shot at Al with his pistol and it hits him in the leg. Al then falls to the ground. The shadowy man then walks over to Al, who is moaning in pain, Al looks up to see who is trying to kill him, and that is when we see that the shooter is none other than Frank Castle. Frank then fires the kill-shot and walks away.

END

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4 Comments

	SUPERBATSPIDERMAN - 8/28/2012, 3:07 PM Login to report abuse Decent writing but I think this would be a cool opening scene for a movie.
	95 - 8/28/2012, 4:23 PM Login to report abuse lol. Can't say that I don't like it. Good opening. But I expected Marc to say: "You got more chances of winning the Powerball than running into him!" — and: "The name's Bond. James Bond." — when Al got shot.
	UniBeam11 - 8/30/2012, 5:31 AM Login to report abuse nice little write up. Maybe think about formatting a little differently though. Things like writing it up inside the article can be a little offputting for the audience on this site. try putting it in a document and uploading that, just more aesthetically pleasing and it will reel in more readers. As far as the story goes, its fun, has a thriller feel to it. Maybe before the story starts give us a little idea of your intention (i.e. what medium do you see this in? Movie, comic, radio broadcast etc) Its an original idea and i would encourage you to keep at it, hone your skills more. There are a couple little punctuation errors but nothing serious. Also, i love the Punisher, one of my favorite characters, i know he is a man shrouded in mystery, so i like this opening scene, not really knowing anything about Castle. Keep it going, keep writing this story. I think it would be cool to see Frank with some internal monologues, what makes him tick? What is he thinking through all of this? why is he doing it? Maybe even go so far as to write this from Frank's perspective! Anyways, good write up, it was a fun read and it was short which is always helpful for the audience on here. Best advice i can give is dont be afraid to be bold! Anyways, as i said to you in my article, broadcast yourself a little and get involved with the other users like this! "Hey, now that I've read yours, read mine!" lol but I do have some fan fic up, give it a read and let me know what you think! http://www.comicbookmovie.com/fan_fic/news/?a=65971 Best thing you can do for your fan fic is make friends on here.
	BkGuy910 - 9/4/2012, 10:57 AM Login to report abuse Like the above poster said, this would make a great movie intro.

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