FAN FIC: UniBeam11 & BombBasticBagMan13's Issue #7

@Jolt17
Hey Man, no worries, get around to it whenever you can, no rush. Happy Holidays man, hope you enjoy issue 7!

@95
I wanna start by saying how much i appreciate you taking the time to read and comment on the comic. As Unibeam's formerly silent partner i have really enjoyed reading peoples comments and how they liked the comic. I especially appreciate those such as yourself who take the time to provide some constructive criticism because it helps us find our flaws and improve the quality of our writing. Sometimes something makes perfect sense to us or seems perfectly written but leaves the reader scratching his head.

Now if i could just pick your brain a little further. What do you mean exactly concerning Cap and the soundbites? Also i'm glad we made you laugh, we work very hard to splash humor in throughout each issue, on the other hand we dont want to completely take away from the gravity of the situation. We dont want this to be a comic where the heroes waltz through and deliver the villain safely to jail, we'll leave that to Superman. Any thoughts?

Once again thank you for commenting and i hope you and others continue to read, comment, and if they feel so inclined give us a thumbs up. Constructive criticism as well as your favorite lines/scenes are always appreciated.

@95
Hey man, we really appreciate the comments and we are very thankful you took the time to read and leave CONSTRUCTIVE criticism, which we are completely open to, so thanks man. We went in and made some changes based on your comments although we left the Carrie reference. We never saw it as us bragging about our film knowledge, just felt like a Spidey line but we appreciate your opinion and took it into consideration. But we just want to say thanks for such a thorough comment and we can really tell you paid attention. So thanks, man! Haha we seem to have been on respected terms since my editorial, happy holidays bud.

@giannhs
haha thank you for the standing ovation! lol I am glad you enjoyed the dialogue to the respected characters and felt they stayed true. Thanks for reading!

Seriously...the tone of the script is action packed & extremely entertaining. The conversation I read I can already imagine in a feature film by actors who have played these characters....Great stuff, no improvements from my side. GIMME MOAR

Great stuff here! But like everyone else said, more will be needed.

Dude you made Captain America one of the most BADASSES In the whole story seriously goin up toe to toe against Doom!?!?! CLASSIC you deserve this dude for your hard work
http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lxyfzs6KTB1rnye5to1_500.gif

http://i974.photobucket.com/albums/ae221/benoit-escallier/gifs%20marvel/capitan_america_5.gif

You sir deserve this script to at least be a fan film I really enjoyed this shit, my ONLY recommendation is that there at least is a little more improvement maybe on how sentry thinks of doom, like when cap and punisher is fighting maybe show a side of how the sentry and void view it and how doom is treating "them" but other than that bravo my good man uni

Simply.. WOW! Not only is this one of the best Fan fics I've read, I must say its one of my favs. Now I feel that I need to read the previous issues as well. I'm a little biased, so I gotta say my favorite part of the issue was Cap.. can't help it, ;). Great job guys!

This is great, and I'm glad to have seen this before I go. You're dialogue is spot on, each character has their own distinct personality, and the story is great. Good work man.

i like it theres a lot of feeling in each character. it was well written if not too much at one time tho. i wouldve liked less at one time but i read the whole thing any way so its not a if it was bad its just the ADD kicking in ;)

Why is fanfic on the front page of ComicBookMovie?

Hey, hey!! First off, I just want to go ahead and congratulate both @Uni and @BombBastic for having Issue #7 being on the Main! Haha, hell yeah!! And it deserves to be 'cause all of us CBMers just simply LOVE this series and what you guys have done with the characters and the story. I also want to give a BIG thanks to my brosef, @Uni! Thanks so much for the shoutout and for telling me about this series, bro. I'm so glad and honored to be apart of something this huge and [frick]ing awesome. Again, thanks, bro! ;)
Now, I'm not one to usually go on the Fan-fic section of CBM everyday and read some of the stories and series that many CBMers have going on, but when I read the first issue of this series, I was fully entertained and was just enjoying it. A LOT! You guys did such an awesome job with the series and the characters in terms of the development/treatment of each character, their dialogue, their characters (their personality being shown in each issue), and, of course, the action! With the characters, I really enjoyed both Captain America and, my #1 favorite, Spider-Man (not that I don't appreciate the other characters as much, I do enjoy them a lot, but with Cappy and Spider-Man, they both stood out the most). I can tell you guys put in a lot of time and effort to have them being well-written and gave them enough attention throughout the series. I also enjoy the lines/dialogue that you've given them (especially Spidey!). Like in Issue #5 where Cap and Wolverine went to locate Ares in Mt. Olympus and Cap used little references like the New Jersey Generals and baseball to tell Ares about his position on the team. Just those subtle, and yet very important, things that you gave Cap can give the readers a sense of who the character is, where he's from, and how the guy thinks. And with Spidey? Man, you guys gave my hero such "Spidey-fitted" lines, it's just amazing (pun intended, of course). You guys did him justice when you balanced out his humorous, witty personality with his maturity and intellect. A great example of this is in Issue #6 where Cap discussed with Pete about what would happen during the arena and what might needed to be done (killing; taking a life). There was a great mix of Spidey laying out some jokes here and there, but not that much too to the point where he's just being nothing more than a douchebag jokester. You could also see him being calm and mature about what he and Cap were talking about, and that's just perfectly written with Spider-Man. So with that, I give you a standing-ovation! ;) Of course, the action that is in this series is also entertaining, as well. One example is with that "Past Sentry" vs "Present Sentry". LoL, that was [frick]ing brutal. Especially the ending of that little fight. D@MN!! Again, such great writings with the fight sequences and action.
Now, for the criticism for this series. I don't have that much problems with it, but there are some few small gripes that I had during the series. The first one is with Doom. No, it's not his treatment of development or his lines/dialogue, it was just his lack of no sense of urgency (subtle urgency) of Sentry. I mean, Sentry, from what I learned, is both coocoo in the head and is EXTREMELY volatile and powerful (if I'm not mistaken, omega level powerful). It just doesn't feel like Doom has no sense of keeping Sentry under close, keen watch of everything he does. Maybe Doom has a back-up plan just in case Sentry back stabs him and goes all out on Doom, I don't know. Something like that would be nice to see in further issues. Another small little gripe that I hope you don't mind me bringing up is a title for the series. While reading each issue, I just felt that the title being absent from each issue is a big hole for me. If you guys could add in a title and more for further issues, that'd be great! If not, then that's a-okay with me. Another small gripe that I hope you don't mind me bringing up is the comma usage in each issue. Again, I do hope that you don't me bringing this up, and if you do, I do apologize. There were, in each issue, some unnecessary usage of commas that didn't need to be included, but that's it, really. I'm kind of a grammar nerd, so stuff like this I pick up. And one last thing that I have is with the "Past Sentry" vs "Present Sentry". It's really more of a question I have about it, not really a gripe. When Sentry came to Doom to kill him, and Doom casted a spell upon Sentry when he came rushing towards Doom, Sentry wakes up to find another Sentry, or "Past Sentry", beating the cr@p outta him. I kinda got confused on where this "Past Sentry" came from. I mean, did I miss something in Issue #5 that explains where this "Past Sentry" came from or no? If you could clarify that for me, that'd really great.
LoL, sorry for the long-@$$ comment here, but I just really, really enjoyed this series. It's really that awesome. In each issue it keeps getting better and better. This is like legit Marvel Comics material right here. I want to thank @Uni again for bringing me into this and for keeping me up to date with the series. You guys have my support for this series, 150%. Keep this series going, and remember, stay EPIC, my friends!

@BombBastic - Oh, you're welcome, my friend. And you'll most definitely hear from me when comes the next issue and so on and so forth. When @Uni sent me the link to Isseu #6, I was tempted to just jump right into it, but I didn't want to to the series off like that. So I read from Issue #1 and so on. So my comment is like a big review on not just this issue, but from Issue #1 thru this one (pretty much like the whole series).
But yeah, man, I really did enjoy your guys' work on Spidey and how you've handled him so far. Just how I see Spidey--cocky, witty, and still maintaining his maturity on situations like what they're in in Issue #7. Very well-written, man. I also cannot wait to see what you guys do with Doom and how he'll become more of a big part of this series. Also, another thing that I want to know is what about the other Olympian gods (like Zeus, Hermes, etc.)? Was it like a one time appearance type deal with them? Or will they also be coming back for another brief moment in the series? Also, will there be more character being included along with Cap and the others? And as for the comma usage and editing and whatnot, if you'd like, dude, you can have @Uni send them for me to do the little editting like that. I wouldn't mind at all. I'd be priviledged to be a part of this series in any way. And I read up a little bit on Sentry (bio, background, etc.). And after reading all that and looking at your issue, especially at the end, I feel like you guys nailed him, as well. I'd really like to see more of this "internal battle" going on with Sentry (which I know you guys will do). An inner conflict like that with a character can take the story to different heights and levels. Unexpected twists and turns. But yeah, man, you're most certainly welcome for the feedback and I'll be waiting on the next issue. Again, congrats and keep it up. ;)