NOVA'S FUNHOUSE: Playing By The Rules

NOVA'S FUNHOUSE: Playing By The Rules

Deadpool finally gets around to that game of golf with Taskmaster. This one's been looong in the coming, so savour it. Hit the jump to see what lies ahead...

In case you didn't exist on the site when I wrote the prelude for this, here's a link to the script that started it all: Nova's Funhouse: Breakfast With Wolverine And Deadpool

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We see Deadpool at the tee, Taskmaster leaning on his club beside the merc with the mouth. Deadpool stands there, mock swinging his driver for a while. Taskmaster gets irked off.
TASKMASTER
C'mon, Wade, I never analysed how to not die of natural freakin' causes.

DEADPOOL
Ha, that was a good one, you should  do more comedy work.

TASKMASTER
Well, when you hang around a joke like you long enough, I guess it just rubs off on ya.

DEADPOOL
Haha, [frick] you...

 
Deadpool swings and hits the ball.
 
DEADPOOL
It's in the hole!

 
The ball lands in the rough behind the green. Taskmaster smirks.
 
TASKMASTER
No Caddyshack reference is gonna save yer ass now.

DEADPOOL
Oh I dunno, I think chasin' a gopher around a golf course would be more productive than playing with you.

TASKMASTER
Right back atcha shrimp-dick.

 
Taskmaster sets up his shot and without so much as looking at the ball, he swings the driver, one handed and strikes the ball perfectly. Deadpool watches in awe as the dented sphere soars toward the green and lands directly in the hole.
 
DEADPOOL
Logan was right, I never should've agreed to this.

TASKMASTER
You offered to play with me, Wade, if anything I should be the one regrettin' shit.

DEADPOOL
But you're winning! That's the ninth hole-in-one you've had, butt-munch!

TASKMASTER
I'm not even keepin' count. It's more fun that way. Plus, I knew I'd win.

DEADPOOL
Yeah, well, sometimes I think about you when I'm jerkin' off!

TASKMASTER
I don't have the slightest clue how that's offensive to me.

DEADPOOL
'Cause I like to think, "Hmm, I wonder if Tasky watched some gay porn he'd be able to do this better than me."

 
Taskmaster's brow furrows as he stares at Deadpool. The merc stares back, arms outstretched in a "Your move" kind of way.
 
TASKMASTER
Alright, I want you to never go near that train of thought ever again, or I'll gut you like a trout, and I mean exactly... Like a trout.

DEADPOOL
See now I'm just seein' you all fisherman-ed up on a sailin' boat watchin' some ol' seadog gut a freakin' trout!

TASKMASTER
You're pushin' it, Wade. You're really freakin' pushin' it.

 
They set off to the next hole where Deadpool once again sets up his tee. He rifles through his golf bag and pulls out his putter.
 
TASKMASTER
The [frick] ya doin'?

DEADPOOL
Well, that other one hasn't done anything good all day, I'm gonna try this one.

TASKMASTER
Wade. That's a [frick]ing putter. You don't tee off with a putter.

DEADPOOL
Correction: You don't tee off with a putter. I am just about to.

 
Deadpool lines up his shot and swings the putter. The ball goes flying throught the air and by some stroke of luck, it lands on the green just beside the hole.
 
DEADPOOL
See, Tasky! Ya don't always need to play by the rules! Ya can always just do whatever the [frick] ya want.

TASKMASTER
I've been livin' by that motto since I was fourteen, now get the [frick] off the tee so I can tee off.

 
Deadpool moves out of the way. Taskmaster sets up his ball and prepares to take a swing. Just before he brings the club down he beats Deadpool around the head with the club. Deadpool's head spins a few times, the neck is completely snapped. His body slumps to the floor.
 
TASKMASTER
I bet that ain't in no [frick]in' rule book.

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Posted By:
NovaCorpsFan
Member Since 2/7/2013
Filed Under "Fan Fic" 8/17/2014
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