NOVA'S FUNHOUSE: Winning

NOVA'S FUNHOUSE: Winning

So, SDCC has been finished for a grand total of three days and people are still in debate over who *ahem* "won". Well, let this Funhouse put the debate to rest. Hit the jump to read the script.

 

We see Batman and Superman sat on a couch in the Watchtower, a laptop hooked up to a monitor plays the DC panel live feed.

SUPERMAN
You sure this is the footage?

BATMAN
Yeah, I had all the cameras bugged, we'll be accessing every camera in that place for the next thirty years. Give or take a few days.

SUPERMAN
Cool.

 
They continue to watch the black screen and then the footage begins. They both lean forward in their seats. The footage plays before them and they sit stone-faced. It finishes. They both lean back in their seats and pause for a moment.

SUPERMAN
Was that entirely CGI?

BATMAN
Yep.

SUPERMAN
But, haven't they been filming for like-

BATMAN
Two months? Yeah.

SUPERMAN
Wow. That's kinda crumby. I mean, you'd think they'd have more than a CG snippet, y'know?

BATMAN
Well, it's official, the Avengers are gonna win Comic-Con again.

SUPERMAN
Well, you never know they're stuff never gets out online.

BATMAN
I'll be releasing every single one of the videos that were just captured anyway.

SUPERMAN
Good idea, get the net a-buzzin' with our leaked footage.

 
Batman goes over to the laptop and goes onto the internet. To his amazement, he sees the words "Avengers: Age of Ultron Foota...". He clicks on it in a panicked hurry. The article pops up and the audio snippet begins to play.
 
BATMAN
Clark, come look at this! They only have the audio!

SUPERMAN
Seriously? HA! Lemme see!

 
They both sit and listen, grinning like schoolboys. The smiles slowly fall from their faces as the audio progresses. As it finishes they both look at each other worriedly.

BATMAN
Ultron sounds...

SUPERMAN
Yeah, he sounded pretty...

BATMAN
Better than Zod.

SUPERMAN
That's what I was thinking.

 
The monitor begins to buzz. Batman pushes a button on his belt and the screen blinks into focus. The Avengers are on screen.
 
CAPTAIN AMERICA
Hey guys, how's it going?

BATMAN
Pretty good, y'know, we just uh... Just watched our footage leak.

IRON MAN
Didja hear ours?

BATMAN
Yeah, it sounded pretty great.

IRON MAN
Anything's gotta sound better than *snap* AAAAAAAAAHHHH!

SUPERMAN
Haha yeah, that was a good one... Asshole.

THOR
What didst thou say, Man of Steel?

SUPERMAN
Nothing, y'know just uh, just that it was a good joke!

THOR
Have care of how you speak S-chested one.

 
Superman gulps down his fear.
 
HULK
Ant-Man sounds leak too.

BATMAN
Haven't gotten round to that yet, but uh-

HULK
Sound better than fan reaction. Footage not look real. Look fake.

BATMAN
That's because it was CGI you big oaf!

HULK
Spiky-head no insult Hulk! HULK SMASH SPIKY-HEAD!

 
Suddenly Deadpool burts into the Avengers' room. They all turn to look at him, some of them going as far as to prepare to fight him.
 
DEAPOOL
Whoa, time out, fellas! Just wanted to stop by and check up on y'all!

[DEAPOOL]
Just show them the footage, don't mess about.

(DEADPOOL)
No, get Caps' autograph, squeeze Black Widow's ass, then run for the hills!

DEADPOOL
Shut up, let me do this. So, you guys see the test footage for my movie that's probably never gonna happen?

AVENGERS, BATMAN & SUPERMAN
No?

DEADPOOL
Well, it was so popular and stuff that they've had to officially release it. Just figured you guys might wanna see it y'know? But I guess you're too busy with other shit, so I'll come back another time.

IRON MAN
No wait! Show us. I'm sure we could all do with a laugh.

 
They all laugh under their breath.
 
(DEADPOOL)
Kill them.

DEADPOOL
What are you, nuts?

(DEADPOOL)
... Yes.

DEADPOOL
Oh right, yeah y'are! Feast your eyes, mortals!

 
Deadpool pulls out an iPad and plays the footage. The Avenger shuddle around to watch it and Batman & Superman peer over them from the screen. They all watch as the footage progresses. Their smirks turn to looks of amazement. The footage finishes.
 
DEADPOOL
How cool was that?!

 
The group look suitably chastised and mutter their responses.
 
AVENGERS, BATMAN & SUPERMAN
Oh, it was pretty cool, yeah, really cool, awesome.

DEAPOOL
Aw shucks, you guys are too nice.

(DEADPOOL)
How come we're not in it?

DEADPOOL
'Cause you're not essential to my character.

[DEADPOOL]
You're right. A brain is far from essential to your character.

IRON MAN
I wonder how Ant-Man's holding up.

 
We cut to a silhouette of Ant-Man hung from a noose.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Posted By:
NovaCorpsFan
Member Since 2/7/2013
Filed Under "Fan Fic" 7/30/2014
DISCLAIMER: ComicBookMovie.com is protected under the DMCA (Digital Millenium Copyright Act) and... [MORE]
24 Comments
batz11 - 7/30/2014, 12:08 PM
Good stuff...but...

Pasto - 7/30/2014, 12:11 PM
LMFAO!
Pasto - 7/30/2014, 12:20 PM
Superman's more powerful than Thor though. So if anyone should be gulping their fear, it should be Thor.
DCGuy - 7/30/2014, 12:54 PM
again this stuff is too long and made me lose interest or maybe you're humor is too dry for me I dunno but keep it up someone must like it even if its not accurate.
NovaCorpsFan - 7/30/2014, 1:01 PM
@DCGuy
I write what I find funny, not my opinion. I don't think anyone won Comic-Con, because I don't think it can be won as it's not a competition. If I'm fully honest, I'm glad you don't like it.
Klone - 7/30/2014, 1:08 PM
For this article, Nova, I will take extra care to stave off the Banshees.
Klone - 7/30/2014, 1:10 PM
*slaps DCGuy so hard his entire low jaw is ripped off from the blood and his tongue left flopping on the ground like a fish*
NovaCorpsFan - 7/30/2014, 1:11 PM
@Klone
Aw, cheers, the bastards would've been difficult to work with anyway.
Klone - 7/30/2014, 1:17 PM
And in addition to that you'll get a sheepwool rug... although what I did to the sheep prior to putting it down... hurr hurr hurr...
DCGuy - 7/30/2014, 1:18 PM
@NovaCorpsFan I'm being honest to I recognize you have an audience which starts with Fan boy (or girl) @Klone for that stupid comment he makes defending you as if I told you to die or something? anyways yeah I know you got fans & talent just this is not my type of "humor" like I mentioned but good work and keep going like I said you got your fans.
Altair - 7/30/2014, 1:18 PM
Nova don't take any of DCGuy's shit, we'll get the Travengers on his ass lol. On topic, this is another good one Nova, keep up the good work man.
Altair - 7/30/2014, 1:19 PM
Also no offense DCGuy, i was making an inside joke, I ain't trying to be an ass or whatever
Klone - 7/30/2014, 1:22 PM
I wasn't even defending Nova. I simply felt like typing up a comment in which I detail a specific method of mutilation :D
Klone - 7/30/2014, 1:26 PM
Random shit, DCGuy. Like this:


Altair - 7/30/2014, 1:28 PM
@NovaCorpsFan rarely have the time to comment nowadays, but i guarantee I'm still on the site just lurking lol. Really enjoying your writings and editorials lately by the way.
NovaCorpsFan - 7/30/2014, 1:30 PM
@Altair
Cheers, man. I certainly try.
Altair - 7/30/2014, 1:31 PM
Lately seems like the Fan Fic community on here is just getting stronger and stronger, with people like you, Doopie, Dr Doom, and such, it's real interesting stuff.
NovaCorpsFan - 7/30/2014, 1:41 PM
I know, there's some serious talent floatin' around these hallowed web pages.
ndwwrestler2 - 7/30/2014, 1:44 PM
(DEADPOOL)
"No, get Caps' autograph, squeeze Black Widow's ass, then run for the hills!"


That awkward moment when you realize that you're brain works just like Deadpool's.
Doopie - 7/30/2014, 3:56 PM
funny shit Nova. I'm not sure there was any winning going on but I'm excited about both AoU and BvS. But then deadpool came along and I'm sold on that too. the next few years will see some amazing cbms
TheManFromMars - 7/30/2014, 4:05 PM
@NovaCorpsFan

I've never bothered to read your "Funhouses" before, but now I see the err of my ways.

This is hilarious! Keep it up!
NovaCorpsFan - 7/30/2014, 5:28 PM
Thanks, TMFM!
FlixMentallo21 - 7/30/2014, 11:11 PM
Eh, the Transformers were the real winners here. I mean come on, DELUXE SCALE COMBINER TEAMS. What more could you ask for?
BenjiWest - 7/31/2014, 3:20 AM
Absolutely hilarious, funny stuff Nova! Great funhouse article!

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