ElBicho Reviews A Nightmare on Elm Street!
Just got back from the midnight showing, and I'll try to keep it as spoiler free as I can...OK, so there are a couple!
Wow. Wow. Wow. All I can say is Wow!!!
Here's my excited face, ready, look... See how excited I am?!
First thing's first, I'm a lifelong Freddy fan. I own the talking doll, posters, calendars, every movie and even the short lived t.v. series. So, all in all I'm a bit of a fan of the original series and all things Krueger.
By the way, I've never read Jonah Hex, and the trailer alone makes me really not want to see the movie. Old Hammer Thumbs strikes again!
The first 5 minutes come at you pretty hot and fast, like a frat boy on a date. Get in, scare you, let you relax, scare you, scare you, scare you. (No offense meant to anyone who was an Alpha Beta, Tri-Lambs for life!!!).
With that being said Jackie Earle Haley is the darkest, most sinister Freddy we have seen to date. The subtleties he brings to his portrayal of the Springwood Slasher (confirmed pedophile, in the new version)are brilliant.
While some have already complained from the trailers about the "Rorschach" voice, the guy was burned alive, how should he sound? JEH speaks as if he truly had his lips burned off and his throat scorched. And he moves as if he actually has suffered from trauma.
Now onto the glove. JEH wields that thing like he was born for it. The first few scenes, it appears to be apart of him. And by that I mean, he holds it in front of him as if it were a claw. And as seen in the previews, he glides a couple of the blades across one another in a menacingly delicious way. The memorable sound they make is an update to the beloved "screeeeech". I was kinda bummed about no screeching (not Samuel Powers), but the update was a nice touch.
The actual story of the movie goes more in depth into the Freddy mythos than the original Nightmare 1. I'll keep this brief, but let me tell you this, you find out that there is a method to the madness!
In an update to the original, the story has incorporated elements of insomnia that heighten the fright of the movie-goer. From the previews, we know that there is something called "micro-naps" (I know, I had to google it too). In these naps, you're dreaming while you're awake. The victims are in Freddy's world and the real world simultaneously. There are a few "shout outs" to Nightmare 1, but not too many to make you say "WTF!?".
The scares of the movie are well spaced, and in a few scenes attack you with the veracity of a stray cat on a bunny.
For those of you who are wondering, Freddy does have a couple of lines that contain humor. While these line would be funny coming from someone not Freddy, JEH delivers them with an evil cadence and a smirk that says "You're pretty screwed".
All in all, I was blown away by this movie and I can't wait to go back tomorrow and see it again. Hopefully, tomorrow's matinee will not be seen by the 14 yr old, EMO kid in the brand new brown fedora and red and green sweater. I appreciate a fan getting dolled up, but would you wear a Bret Michaels shirt to a Poison concert?
"The brain can stay alive for seven minutes after the heart stops... we have 6 minutes left to play." That's my favorite quote from the movie. I might be paraphrasing, but I was too nerdgasmy to take accurate notes.
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