EXCLUSIVE!!!!!Gusto’s Super-Awesome Funtime Christmas List!!!

Is Gusto the best? It's been confirmed...he is!

Follow Gusto:
By Gusto - 12/12/2011
Hi All...
in my ongoing quest to win countless Hot Bunz contests, teach Nuck 2nd Grade Math, protect the innocent with all the sweet kung fu moves I picked up from watchin’ The Matrix over 40 times, and, in general make the world a better, more sexy place...I've put together a boss Christmas list to brighten your stupid day…Jerks.
Most of my list is stuff for other people. Mainly, because I’m 1000% awesome, and I need little but what I drink…plus all my friends are losers that need crap.

1. A safe holiday for all our Armed Forces…’cause the U.S.A. Rules!!!!


2. At least 5000 hours of tutoring in English, Spelling, Math, Social Studies…ah…pretty much every subject there is, for Nuck.


3. A badass new super-bionic arm for Stubby.



4. A new football team for Waylon, because his sucks & a real NFL team for SP so he won’t have to keep going on and on about that crappy WNBA team they have now. GO LIONS! PACKERS SUCK IT!!!!


5. For Thorverine…a dump truck full of sun screen.


6. For Gaston to be way less of a hate-mongering racist.


7. Red Carpet passes for Ror to go see The Expendables 2...just one ticket…no date. Ha…what boner, watchin‘ The Expendables all alone.


8. A bucket of candy for LC and an escape submarine for Lee.


9. For Teabag…an all expense-paid tattoo removal session(and, for me…that time alone with his hard drive).


10. For Tittie…a cool new daddy…wink! And, for Monkk…a badass new brother-in-law!


11. Husky pants for Ecks, for Wee Wee to finally touch a real boob and a Robocop DVD for ReRe.


12. A bromance with Tom Welling for Grif!


13. For all of SOAL…a bunch of helmets to protect you morons from getting even more closed-head injuries…and…sniffle…for Trudy to come home!


14. And, for the rest of you idiots…whatever the hell crap it is you want! Stay off my lawn!
DISCLAIMER: This article was submitted by a volunteer contributor who has agreed to our code of conduct. ComicBookMovie.com is protected from liability under the Digital Millenium Copyright Act (DMCA) and "safe harbor" provisions. CBM will disable users who knowingly commit plagiarism, piracy, trademark or copyright infringement. Please contact us for expeditious removal of copyrighted/trademarked content. You may also learn more about our copyright and trademark policies HERE.
1
LIKE!
30 Comments
nuck82 - 12/12/2011, 4:06 PM
suck a dick!!!

silly old man
nuck82 - 12/12/2011, 4:07 PM
GO PACK GO!!!!

AND THATS NOT FAIR WHY DOES STUBBY GET THE COOL SHIT AND I GET STUPID SCHOOL!
batmanrises - 12/12/2011, 4:07 PM
Align= “right” ...You forgot to press the 'Any' key.
MaddMonkk - 12/12/2011, 4:08 PM
Santa's checking his list now if you've been naughty or nice!
batmanrises - 12/12/2011, 4:10 PM
Gusto inspired Santa Claus way back when. He used to pass out candy and gifts to kids in the middle of the night in an attempt to get them in his sleigh...they didn't have vans back then.
ecksmanfan - 12/12/2011, 4:19 PM
So what....I"m big boned.
MaddMonkk - 12/12/2011, 4:26 PM
Why aint this on main?!
Gutts81 - 12/12/2011, 6:11 PM
GOD. WHY IS THIS NOT ON MAIN?
Dmon - 12/12/2011, 6:41 PM
LOL! Great stuff Gusto.
agentofshield - 12/12/2011, 8:54 PM
gusto.... you old bag of skittles. you left me out.
but i still hate you. no worries.
jjmeylar - 12/12/2011, 9:34 PM
I hate to say this, but this gave me a microscopic amount of respect for you. I never thought that it could happen.
NOLANITE - 12/12/2011, 11:19 PM
WE ALL WANT Trudy back. Gusto what am i getting for christmas?
nuck82 - 12/13/2011, 6:52 AM
@witty, maybe if you showed up on the site more, people woundt forget about you.
AlexRival - 12/13/2011, 7:15 AM
Packers suck nut! Those pretentious bastards can eat my poop.
nuck82 - 12/13/2011, 7:37 AM
@AlexRival did you fall and bump your head? are you mad they beat the shit out of your sorry ass team some where on there way to a undefeted season? im sorry, you fail
MassExecutions - 12/13/2011, 7:45 AM
Gusto's gift to me was not giving a gift specifically to me.
AlexRival - 12/13/2011, 10:35 AM
@Nuck Did I ever say they weren't skilled? No. I said they sucked, and by that I meant as human beings. I can't stand the cocky attitude of Aaron Rodgers, his face just pisses me off. In the words from Raimi's first Spider-Man "He sucks and I don't like him."
AlexRival - 12/13/2011, 10:36 AM
@Stubbz Not a Colts fan, a Vikes fan. Not much better though...
nuck82 - 12/13/2011, 11:05 AM
@alex how does he suck when hes play the best football then anyone else in the nfl, and hes doesnt even like to talking about himself to reporters, he alway talks about being a team
AlexRival - 12/13/2011, 11:31 AM
@Nuck My goodness I already addressed that I'm talking about his personality. And every interview I've seen that the reporters ask "What's going right?" or "How are you doing so well" he responds with "I am" or "I make the right passes when we need them". All I've seen is him being full of himself, maybe that's coz I'm in MN maybe not. But I've never seen him be selfless.
BlazinTexan - 12/13/2011, 12:05 PM
lmao gusto you silly bastard .......i might make a
cat-tank for my cat though lol
OptimusBurgundyMaximus - 12/13/2011, 12:15 PM
Do i get your head on a plate !?

itll prob only be worth a blue skittle but hey thats somethin

U silly Basterd get Xbox Live so i can kill u on MW3 repeatedly then teabag your head

OptimusBurgundyMaximus - 12/13/2011, 12:28 PM
Also i would never step on ur lawn gus dno how many cats have been there

y does the soal pic have the Liverpool badge on his head

oh retartdness .....got it
DarthDan - 12/13/2011, 12:39 PM
Goddammit Gusto... That is some of the funniset shit I've read all day.
SpiderBat209 - 12/13/2011, 2:29 PM
This is some funny sh*t! LOL XD
Cerebro - 12/13/2011, 3:27 PM
funny, good job old man
Greengo - 12/14/2011, 1:19 PM
you bastard!!!
Greengo - 12/14/2011, 1:22 PM


nailbiter111 - 12/14/2011, 3:34 PM
is that Chris Burke of Life Goes On?
RacerREX - 12/15/2011, 10:26 AM
Funny shiznit Gusto! Great post. It's nice to know that they provide internet access at the senior's center!

Please log in to post comments.

Don't have an account?
Please Register.