GUSTO'S HOLIDAY TIPS FOR THE FELLAS...PT 2
Genius? I think so!
Now, if your GF/wife is of the standard variety who
goes out and buys a stupid dang gift for everyone
from the paper boy to the lady that works at the friggin'
grocery store...Dump Her!!! Yes, dump her! Start workin'
on it now! I find fake winter/year end ''depression''
is a great 'wedge-maker/break-up initiator'!!!! Guys,
it's ok to be creative here...it's fun. Get nutty!!!
"But, Gusto, won't I want to be with my wife/GF
for New Years??" Ding, ding! We have a non-retard in
here today!!! Yes, good question! As, no one wants to
be the loner loser at midnight on New Years Eve!
Start the break-up process now...have her butt
dumped by the 19th. Then simply call her doofus butt
up on the 28th with a fake regret...made a mistake,
I'm so sorry, blah, blah, blah, whatever speech in hand!!!!
Now, she's a girl/dummy so she will be so distraught over having
spent the holiday alone and lookin' like a spinster
in front of her dipsh*t friends on X-Mas...she'lll be needy
as hell and desperate as SP at a dessert bar the
nearer that New Years Eve comes!! And, she'll gladly get back
together with you in time! Plus, as an added bonus,
she'll probably have all of your gifts there waiting, as
the goofy broad will probably have been too distraught
over the dumping so close to X-Mas to return them!!
Now, you'll want something for her dumbazz so you
don't look like a total Nuck...so, regift to her any crap
your family got you that you don't want!!! You just saved
yourself a trip to the mall to return that garbage! Buy
yourself a beer, lil soldier!!! You've earned it!!!! So,
Start working on your break up and make up scripts now!!!
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