IRON MAN Safety Alert

In my ongoing quest to liberate the mind of America, defeat the unjust with my deadly Kung-Fu skills & super sexy dance moves, find a way to write pot off my taxes and get the chick from Kroger to take a bubblebath with me...I've unearthed some life saving info that my just save your life.

Follow Gusto:
By Gusto - 2/19/2013
Ok, so...as we know the new Iron Man movie is coming soon...Yay! Right? no...Yay wrong! Be warned...should you get all excited after watching the new online trailer and then come home and decide that you too should be an iron clad vigilante of justice...whatever you do...don't take a pair of tin snips and all my mom's baking sheets, my dad's empty Bud Light cans, and then proceed to build myself a kick ass suit of armor...using her good pasta pot as a helmet.

Ok, you can do that...but, definitely don't sneak into my neighbor, Old Man Lesky's garage and steal...umm...I mean...liberate a shitload of the fireworks he's been stock piling for the 4th of July, and then duct tape a bunch of roman
candles and other fireworks all over my kickass IRON GUSTO suit.

And, most certainly, don't go up to my second story deck...ignite all of said fireworks and then leap off...expecting to fly down the street to finally get revenge on those 4th graders for tricking me into stickin' my head in stuff all
those times. Cause...umm...yeah...you won't fly. At all...you'll basically plummet a story and a half in a big clusterfuck of razor sharp metal and fireworks.

Sound fun? Well, it's not, my friend. Nor, is hittin' the ground and bein' sliced to the bejesus by a bunch of serrated metal and then having all my
nooks and crannies burned to a crisp by the flaming and exploding fireworks duct taped all over me.

Now, if someone could come collect me off my front lawn and take me to the ER...before those lil rat bastard 4th graders find me layin' here... I'd be forever in your debt.

Dear God, I hope they can reattach my junk...I really need my junk. Fireworks safety is no joke, people!

Prof. Gusto K. St. Cool...aka...IRON GUSTO.
Source: Jesus
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31 Comments
CaptainDoctorIamTheLaw - 2/19/2013, 4:53 PM
Thanks for warning me. Better go wash the pasta pot now.. Got some dandruff in it..
GSpawn - 2/19/2013, 5:00 PM
wait a minute hold up....I HAD THE SAME [frick]ING IDEA FOR A SUPERMAN suit you bastard, only thing was the S was made out of stapled together sweet tarts, while the shoes were a pair of cardboard I cut out from a box, and the cape was a bed sheet...

I EVEN TRIED TO STEA- I mean emancipate two laser pointers at best buy for the heat vision! though that needed to be thought about a bit better before I spent the next two hours living life like matt murdock does..minus the crime fighting...

so until I get proper due for coming up with the idea





Carl - 2/19/2013, 5:15 PM
Carl - 2/19/2013, 5:18 PM
GSpawn - 2/19/2013, 5:18 PM
@Gusto

hey man, I got the double laser pointers, I just need to find them shits, last time I heard kamen took them god dammit, so we need ray bans and to stea- I mean free those laster pointers
thorhulk77 - 2/19/2013, 6:02 PM
Lol.
CavEl - 2/19/2013, 6:17 PM
Kudos, gusto...

I had a good laugh.
Dev7 - 2/19/2013, 6:18 PM
Put on your glasses when you type Gusto, this has to be the worst grammatically incorrect article I've ever read on here and that is saying something.
ToTheManInTheColdSweat - 2/19/2013, 6:20 PM
lmbo, this made main. [frick]ING AWESOME!!!! ^_^
AOSgotAlright - 2/19/2013, 6:25 PM
I've putting together my Tony Stark get up for a little while, much less dangerous and about as fun.
Carl - 2/19/2013, 6:26 PM
Squish - 2/19/2013, 6:29 PM
mucho gusto
TheFascinatingMan - 2/19/2013, 6:36 PM
Great stuff! Lol Gusto's the man
ToTheManInTheColdSweat - 2/19/2013, 6:36 PM
Source: Jesus

ROFL!!!! hahahahaha. clicked on "Jesus" and laughed my [frick]ing ass off. what a eird [frick]ing church. thank you very much amigo. lmfao!!
Greengo - 2/19/2013, 6:41 PM
Lol. You made main : )
willyburz - 2/19/2013, 6:45 PM
LMFAO Gusto. You are now my hero! I was about crying, cause I was laughing my ass off. Great stuff man, great stuff.
SCURVYDOG619 - 2/19/2013, 6:52 PM
Gusto got an artice on main..ROFL
RorMachine - 2/19/2013, 7:04 PM
"life saving info that my just save your life."

Aw, I prefer that other kind of like saving info myself...;)
Durf - 2/19/2013, 7:20 PM
LMFAO! Dammit, Gusto I love you you old bastard. Best article on main by far today. Made my day man
Minato - 2/19/2013, 8:01 PM
I got to reading this and about three sentences in I thought "this has to be Gusto". I look up and behold Gustos name in the author slot. SMH glad to has your decrepit a$$ back. LOL
Minato - 2/19/2013, 8:05 PM
DanteSparda - 2/19/2013, 8:19 PM
With no pics I won't laugh
DioFoRio - 2/19/2013, 8:46 PM
read the title on main and had a good guess as to who wrote this. You slimy bastard ; )
Minato - 2/19/2013, 9:08 PM









AmazingFantasy - 2/19/2013, 10:31 PM
Slow News Day was saved by Iron Gustro.

Mark the date gentleman.
Jollem - 2/20/2013, 12:59 AM
thumbed ya :)

AC1 - 2/20/2013, 1:53 AM
Ooh, didn't break a hip, did you Gusto?
Groillagrod87 - 2/20/2013, 3:37 AM
Wow that website that is a crazy ass church. God watches u bust a nut.
Greengo - 2/20/2013, 6:39 AM
You burnt every nook and crannie of your Pakistani fanny.
Carl - 2/20/2013, 6:43 AM
Azrael725 - 2/20/2013, 7:30 AM
Best article on CBM ever written. I applaud you Sir Gusto.

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