InstigatorGIRL's Rant & Review of The Expendables

The ultimate action movie? Or all talk and no fizzle? *Clips and Minor Spoilers*

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By InstigatorGIRL - 8/13/2010
The Expendables brings together an action cast like no other movie has done before, and it was awesome! I will admit I was very surprised at how great this movie was! Were there flaws? Yes, but not many. Everyone in the theater walked out with nothing but praise for the movie.


Here's the synopsis for the movie from IMDB:
"THE EXPENDABLES is a hard-hitting action/thriller about a group of mercenaries hired to infiltrate a South American country and overthrow its ruthless dictator. Once the mission begins, the men realize things aren't quite as they appear, finding themselves caught in a dangerous web of deceit and betrayal. With their mission thwarted and an innocent life in danger the men struggle with an even tougher challenge, one that threatens to destroy this band of brothers.

Barney Ross (Sylvester Stallone) is a man with nothing to lose. Fearless and void of emotion, he is the Leader, the Sage and the Strategist of this tight-knit band of men who live on the fringe. His only attachment is to his pickup truck, his seaplane and his team of loyal modern-day warriors. His is a true cynic who describes what he does as "removing those hard to get at stains". The team behind him is made up of Lee Christmas (Jason Statham), former SAS and a savant with anything that has a blade; Yin Yang (Jet Li), a master at close-quarter combat; Hale Caesar (Terry Crews), who has known Barney for ten years and is a long-barrel weapons specialist; Toll Road (Randy Couture), a skilled demolitions expert and considered the intellect of the group; and Gunnar Jensen (Dolph Lundgren), a combat veteran and an expert in precision sniping who struggles with his own demons.

When the mysterious Church offers Barney a job no one else would take, Barney and his team embark on what appears to be a routine mission: overthrow General Gaza (David Zayas), the murderous dictator of the small island country of Vilena and end the years of death and destruction inflicted on its people. On a reconnaissance mission to Vilena, Barney and Christmas meet their contact Sandra (Giselle Itie), a local freedom-fighter with a dark secret. They also come to learn who their true enemy is: rogue ex-CIA operative James Monroe (Eric Roberts) and his henchman Paine (Steve Austin). When things go terribly wrong, Barney and Christmas are forced to leave Sandra behind, essentially giving her a death sentence. Haunted by this failure, Barney convinces the team to return to Vilena to rescue the hostage and finish the job he started. And to perhaps save a soul: his own."



-Great action! There were many scenes that had people cheering and laughing and just flat out getting hyped. It even had us in the theater saying "Oh S**T!" Especially the fighting with Statham; this just had great choreography. Each actor had their moment to shine and to deliver the action and they didn't disappoint!

-This movie definitely was not the best example of proper movie editing. The editing was very lazy and it showed in a few scenes. Also there were scenes that could've been taken out that were just kinda there for no real reason.

-Some damn good dialogue. To be honest, I wasn't expecting the dialogue to be that great and although its not "Oscar-worthy" it wasn't crappy either. The thing that bothered me was how the some of the actors would deliver the lines. It wasn't the lines themselves that sucked just how the person delivered them.


-Which brings me to the acting. Okay, here's how I felt with the acting. Some delivered and some didn't. Statham and Stallone, awesome. Especially their scenes together. Eric Roberts too, but Rourke takes home the prize for this one. He's not even in the movie that much but just the few lines he says is just so damn good. One scene he even gave me chills. Arnold, meh... Bruce Willis no complaints but no praise either. It wasn't anything he hasn't done before. Jet Li, some scenes he was good others just bad. Anyways, the acting can be split in half.




-The Arnold/Stallone scene was just hysterical! *SPOILER* What was so great was the little jabs they make at each other, but the best part was when Arnold leaves. Bruce Willis asks Stallone what Arnold's problem was, and Stallone says something a long the lines of, "Oh, nothing. Dude just wants to be President." Anyways, that whole scene was just funny.


-Just enough blood and gore. I think that says enough.
Could Of Killed Me Clip

-Again, the choreography in this was great! Especially Statham's fight scenes. Just so damn brutal.

Guys will love this movie! As I said before, everyone walked out of the theater very happy about this movie. It will make you laugh and totally saying your "oooh's and awww's." I liked it so much I am going to go see it again for sure. This movie is a fantastic ride from start to finish and is worth every dollar to watch it. TWO THUMBS WAY UP!

Now get to the theater and watch this or I'll confiscate your man cards!!!!
Source: IMDB.com
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ClintEastwood - 8/13/2010, 4:28 AM
Sweet!
LEEE777 - 8/13/2010, 7:00 AM
Damn, I didn't know it was out yet!!!

Holy sh1T in a handbag!

Gonna be the sweetest movie of the year, easy!!!

Gr8 review @ GATOR!

Can't wait to see it...

Hell, SLY and ARNOLD, no way in hell I'm not watching this baby, hell no!

Hell yes and thumbs up! :)
LEEE777 - 8/13/2010, 7:02 AM
Damn, SLY and ARNOLD should have done a movie together way b4 this...

Issue of them being bigger back then and SLY's height plus pay packet, damn them lol heh heh! : P
antonio - 8/13/2010, 7:18 AM
i really enjoyed this more then that scott pilgrim crap.

i thought it was a 8.75 or 9 out of 10.however,in my opinion,not da greatest action movie ever made.i mean,it no terminator 2.
marvel72 - 8/13/2010, 7:35 AM
i think i'm gonna check this out over the weekend.

i just wished they made this movie back in the 80s when arnie,stallone,lundren & willis where at their best.

still can't wait.
InstigatorGIRL - 8/13/2010, 9:40 AM
@antonio Oh I never said it was the greatest action movie ever but that it was a hell of a lot better than I expected. It is a great action movie but not the best one ever.

@tea LOL. Enjoy! *hugs*

@TABOO Oh man, that was an awesome scene but the scene you posted is the short version of it. There was more there, and that's nothing compared to the carnage he causes at the end.

@LEEE Thanks! Get to the theater and see this sir! The Stallone/Arnold scene is just so damn funny.
Stumblin - 8/13/2010, 9:53 AM
Freaking sweet review InstigatorGIRL, I'll definitely be taking my girlfriend to see this this weekend, she loves mindless action as much as I do.
InstigatorGIRL - 8/13/2010, 10:08 AM
@Stumblin Thanks and enjoy! This movie delivers enough of that to please.

@TABOO Go see it! I'm gonna go see it again tomorrow.
MatchesMalone - 8/13/2010, 10:22 AM
@IGIRL- Very nice review! Very thorough. Sounds like about what I expected. My badass self will definitely be seeing this badass movie with my badass friends so I don't get my badass man card revoked!

"Toll Road (Randy Couture), a skilled demolitions expert and considered the intellect of the group." Lol!
XmutantX - 8/13/2010, 10:54 AM
Sweet review IG...any comments on the other players???...Lundren..austin..crews...???
~X

ps. I luv how the "manliest" movie is being reviewed 1st by a lady (well..a girl atleast :P j/k)
tango1978 - 8/13/2010, 11:00 AM
My testosterone went through the roof during this movie!
peterparker420 - 8/13/2010, 11:02 AM
GREAT REVIEW!!

I really wish they used JACKIE CHAN..instead of JET..
CHAN IS WAY BETTER!! and CHAN's fight scenes have NO wire or CG effects..also i like CHAN'S movie better..
(his movies BEFORE the rush hour movies)

Any way can't wait to see it!

Now THIS is a fight scene!!


also..THIS..CHAN'S..BEST FIGHT SCENE EVER!!
HelaGood - 8/13/2010, 11:03 AM
SWEET review IGirl!!!!!
i cant wait to see this!!!!!
113 - 8/13/2010, 11:22 AM
I was thinking about seeing this..Glad it's actually a fun ride and not lame.
MercuryWest - 8/13/2010, 11:34 AM
sweet. JCVD [frick]ed himself over....
DeathWalker - 8/13/2010, 11:41 AM
Can't wait to see this now. Going to go on Sunday with the Mrs. and kid for my B-day. I heard it was really good so from other sources, but IGIRL your review is the icing on the cake.... Thanks *HUGS*
Stumblin - 8/13/2010, 11:54 AM
peterparker420, that last Jackie Chan video was tight! What movie was that I don't remember it...
Hawksblueyes - 8/13/2010, 11:57 AM
IG: Dammit woman! Now I'm even more stoked to see this. ;P
XmutantX - 8/13/2010, 12:04 PM
Hey Jet has done sum dope sh!t 2 bub...kiss of the dragon was amazing!!!
Ranger14 - 8/13/2010, 12:05 PM
This will be one I watch just to see some good action and not expecting much for substance. Team of "commandos" goes to third world country to take care of ruthless leader...kind of redundant theme in many action movies and shows. Just to watch all the cast together should be fun, but going to be more of a popcorn flick for me.

peterparker@ Chan over Li? I like Chan well enough, but he is an actor how learned the martial arts as opposed to a martial artist who learned to act. I would take Li any day over Chan in an actual fight. Regardless of whether Chan does his own stunts or not, Li is a much mored studied and accomplished martial artist.
thatiscrazy - 8/13/2010, 12:20 PM
Luke Cage haha Cruz can't act lol why can't people get that... he only knows how to be goofy.. but his character kicked ASS.

This movie was awsome!!!!!!!!!

And Jet li's fight scenes where pretty slick too.

Stathm was a [frick]ing bad ass. Actually they where all awsome.
thatiscrazy - 8/13/2010, 12:21 PM
I'm So glad van dam wasn't in this movie =D
peterparker420 - 8/13/2010, 12:40 PM
Stumblin- It was from a GREAT movie called GORGEOUS.

Ranger14- WHOA hold on..I will admit Li is a better
ACTOR..but a more accomplished martial artist.
NO WAY! (this is just my oppinion) but I feel
like CHAN is way better, he chorographs ALL
fight scenes in ALL his movies..he worked with
Bruce Lee..He has more movies..he does his
own stunts..he NEVER uses wires or CG..I will
say CHAN used CGI for his LATER "family"
movies..but I don't count them..anyway
I just think CHAN is a better fighter.

Chan has been in over 100 movies and has been
studying martial arts since 1960!..He was born
in 1954!

I think he was a martial artist FIRST..
Then an acrobatic performer..Then an actor.
XmutantX - 8/13/2010, 12:59 PM
Li would kill chan if they fought 2day...in there prime..idk..but chan is older and slower now (the man has broken every bone in his body lol)...not 2 mention Jet li has won 15 gold medals in wushu :)
Ranger14 - 8/13/2010, 1:03 PM
peterparker@ And Li worked with Chan, so does that automatically mean he is better or more accomplished because of it or vice-versa?

Chan started learning kung fu from his father. Not sure what level or expertise his father was, but he started acting school at age 7 and that was his focus. He studied martial arts along the way. Most of the time during his early career he was doing stunt work...hence the reason he does his own stunts and choreography. That doesn't necessarily mean he is a better martial artist. Some fight choreographers aren't the best martial artists. They just have a good eye for visualizing a fight scene. Chan is an excellent martial artist though.

Li started studying wushu at the age of 8 and at the age of 11 won his first national championship for the Beshing Wushu Team and won it the next 4 years in a row after that. That means he is a championship fighter. He had to retire from competition due to a blown-out knee.

I personally like Li's style of fighting on-screen much better. It isn't as hokey and over-the-top as some of Chan's extravagant stunt/fight scenes. I find Li to be a much more fluid fighter than Chan. Again, I like Chan well enough, but I am partial to Li. As an ex-martial artist I enjoy watching any solid martial artists. We differ in opinions. No harm...no foul. :-)

Sorry IGirl, didn't mean to hijack your thread.
spider1489 - 8/13/2010, 1:14 PM
I CANT WAIT TO SEE THIS MOVIE TODAY!! NOW I AM EVEN MORE PUMP!

and to comment on CHAN VS LI chan would rock li! jackie is the greatest! too bad him and jean claude van damn werent in this movie! but hey there are always room for them in the sequel! lol
InstigatorGIRL - 8/13/2010, 1:40 PM
@Ranger No need to apologize. =) Besides we all know Bruce Lee would [frick] them both up. LOL

@XmutantX Lundgren was okay... Austin was basically being Stone Cold from WWF, and Crews was really a bad ass in what little he was in it. He had one of the best lines in the movie. "Remember that shit at Christmas!" Couture's character was rather pointless in my opinion. I think The Rock should've played his role considering *SPOILER* that character and Austin's character fight and it would've made all the WWF fans jism in their briefs. They could've even done little jokes and jabs like they did with Stallone and Arnold.
NightAvenger - 8/13/2010, 1:46 PM
This movie will rock!
Ranger14 - 8/13/2010, 1:57 PM
IGIRL@ True dat!

Crews seems over-the-top in everything I have seen him in. From Old Spice to his sitcom. Saw him as a guest on ESPN a month or two back and though he is likable, he is just obnoxious as well.
flames809 - 8/13/2010, 1:59 PM
cool review. i read one not so good review on this movie, so im not sure if i want to see it or not.
peterparker420 - 8/13/2010, 2:04 PM
IGIRL- Truer words were never spoken!

Ranger14- AGREED! were just on different sides of the
better martial artist fence..and that's OK!

I will say I respect LI and his fighting,
acting capability..but to me chan is my
man for always playing the "average guy"
when he fights (acts) he has this comedic
undertone..but never over the top...I just
like him better..to each there own!!
InstigatorGIRL - 8/13/2010, 2:07 PM
@Ranger Crews obnoxious? Who could ever think that? *sarcasm*
CBArtist - 8/13/2010, 3:03 PM
Awesome review!!
It's a great fun ride of a film!! Highly recommended!
AsianAvenger - 8/13/2010, 3:19 PM
I'm gonna watch Scott Pilgrim over this movie tonight!!! lol
Vish617 - 8/13/2010, 3:38 PM
Just got back from watching this at the cinema - not disappointed at all! Probably not an award winner (unless there's an award for 'amount of shit that gets blown up in a movie' or 'best fight/action kill') but good action through-out the film, definitely had everyone going "oooh, ahhh and oh sh!t!".
Had some good funny moments in it too!
Overall good fun action movie! Possible sequel with a few more (or better) cast and story line...?
antonio - 8/13/2010, 3:51 PM
inception is still my #1 movie of 2010(And of all time).inception has the best fight scene ever.this should win a award for most amount of shit blown up and aweosme deaths.loved it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
selinakyle - 8/13/2010, 4:31 PM
Nice review Igirl. I will probably catch this on sunday.
jazzman - 8/13/2010, 5:07 PM
very nice review

@thatiscrazy

have u seen Street Kings Terry Crews was not goofy he played a serious role also he was alright in "Harsh Times" with Christian Bale

Watcher - 8/13/2010, 5:28 PM
ZOMFG yall! I just got back and I can confirm Igirl's highly correct and truthful review.

Take it from a world class testosterone FREAK: Give this one a shot cause it's a fricking BLAST!!
antonio - 8/13/2010, 6:28 PM
soooooooooo much better then that crap you call scott pilgim vs the world.so glad i snuck in that one and didnt pay lol.
ukboy28 - 8/13/2010, 6:31 PM
great review igirl :)

im need to see this asap :O
icebergslick - 8/13/2010, 6:59 PM
Great review! I will be seeing this film. It's just action porn for any action fan! We needs this! Support this flick!
Phinehas - 8/13/2010, 8:59 PM
Women don't have the power to take "man-cards".


Just dignity...half the pension...the kids...the house...
Kebe - 8/13/2010, 9:08 PM
Keys to watching THIS movie;
1) If you're of age to remember, take yourself back to 1987-88.
2) Throw any and all expectations out the window.
3) DONT THINK.
4) Keep in mind how movies were made in the 80's, this cheese is GOOD cheese.
5) ACTING DOES NOT MATTER. Look who's in it. C'MON!
6) One-liners and cliche's are what great action films were built upon, this follows that genre to the T.
7) DOLPH LUNDGREN- worth the price of a ticket. I can't think of a movie with him in it where HE made me laugh(on purpose), CLASSIC.

I loved this movie for some reason. I think if you have expectations that this is supposed to be a serious movie then you should go see the Julia Roberts flick. I give this a 4 out of 5.
PARASITE - 8/14/2010, 1:34 AM
You want Hardcore action? The ultimate testosterone movie this year? Action from start to finish? Then get your ass into a theatre near you and watch this flick. Maybe if enough of us go to see it, next year expendables 2.
EphPhaThaINC - 8/14/2010, 3:06 AM
Great Review Instigator Girl. I pretty much agree with you 100%. I just want to further enhance and add my two cents on what you said.

Yesterday afternoon, I went with my best friend Michael (that I've known for almost over 20 years) I had just gone going to the theater and watching a movie that I myself had been waiting for over a year or longer to see since they first announced it. I am referring to The Expendables. The Sylvester Stallone written and directed 80s/90s action tough guy homage collage movie that has Jet Li, Jason Stathan, Randy Coultor, Mickey Rourke, Terry Cruise, Steve Austin, Gary Daniels, and brings guys like The Arnold and Bruce Willis together for the very first time.

Stallone said that he he was doing this movie after doing the last Rambo movie and was literally a trip back to the old school of action flicks. No CGI, big boom special effects, and he he said old school. He really meant OLD SCHOOL. I am talking Dirty Dozen, Magnificent Seven OLD SCHOOL. He went back to tell a gritty hard nose story about a bad ass team that came together and worked together to get a job done when nobody else would dare do it and it was a job that it was literally "do or die"

So in a nutshell, this movie delivers on that movie. It doesn't let down. It brings what it says. This movie meets my expectations. It doesn't far exceed them. But that's okay too. When you walk out of the movie, you walk out feeling good and escape for two hours, get lost in the action and the big booms. And when I say big boom booms, I mean big boom boom explosions. Boom booms that put Michael "Boom-Boom" Bay to shame.

I admit that it is not without some issues and problems. This is not a complete perfect movie. It drags and it takes a bit to get into the action. It almost made me nod off in a couple of places but it perks me up really quick.

The reason why it plays out like Magnificent Seven or Dirty Dozen because in those movies you had all of those big name actors of that time who had their strengths and it utilized them and all of them complimented each other.

They even ride on their version of horses...like the Bon Jovi song Dead or Alive, "steel horse I ride"

Barney Ross (Stallone), the leader of the group, is your gun slinger type, he's your quick on the draw with any hand pistol. They do enough with him to explain some of what he is and mainly they show how he connects to all of the other soldiers in the group. They do enough with him where he has some back story that connects to the other guys.

Lee Christmas (Stathan) is your knife and edged weapon type. Can fight with anything with a blade. Christmas is the one guy that they do probably the most character development with out of all of the guys. They show him outside and off the battlefield with his girlfriend (played by Charisma Carpenter, who has only two scenes but needed for Christmas)

Ying-Yang (Li) is your closed quartered hand to hand combat type. One of my few complaints about this movie comes from Li. He is not the weak link of the group but the one who doesn't have nearly as much character development as Ross, Christmas, or Gunner (Dolph Lungren). Stallone tries to make this up and give him some of his share of the action and not to restrict Li, but he does fall by the wayside a little bit. He shines in the ending fight scenes, but that's about it.

Toll Road (Randy Coutour), the demolitions expert and who is said to be the brains of the group. They kind of don't do a whole lot with him either, but he plays his part well and makes the most of what he can in the time he has. He throws down with Steve Austin's character Paine, in the movie and has some time but really the two just brawl and tackle each other in their fight scene. All things considering I have never really been a big fan of Randy Coutour both as an MMA fighter or as an actor, but he does alright in this movie.

Hale Ceaser (Terry Crews) probably without a doubt one my favorite characters and one of my favorite actors out there. This is a guy, is so damn talented and so damn funny, that he can take one little part and make it that much better and in turn be the one reason why I would still watch a movie. He was the only reason why I able to sit through the movie White Chicks, I hated that movie but he not only stole the movie, his little part carried it. But I digress. He doesn't have a whole lot of back story, or screen time but what little he has he shines. He even explains what he was gonna do and then in the big fight scene you get so caught up in it, you forget what it was he said he was gonna do, but when you see...like I did, I had my MARK OUT, EDGE OF MY SEAT, FIST PUMP CHEER of the whole movie and it made me happy it it reminded me what he said he was gonna do. He delivered and saved all of their asses. I am not going to say any more than that. You'll have to see it to take my word for it.

Tool (Mickey Rourke) This man is without a doubt the single most underrated actor in Hollywood. I still feel that his acting was good enough for the Oscer and he got shafted by that liberal ass kisser bitch faggot Sean Penn in Milk. This man shows that he has it. He doesn't have a lot of screen time but what little he has, this is where the heart and soul of The Expendables comes from. His one true moment in this scene where explains to Ross how he lost "it" he totally owned this scene. He delivered so much much emotion while he spoke this monologue and pulled out all of the emotions and didn't even spill one single tear. In fact he doesn't even shed it, but his eyes water. While he was still giving it, he quivered his voice and it resonated with so much pain but he kept it under control and when it was all said and done, all you could was "WOW! [frick]ING WOW!" I saw more acting in this one scene than anything he pulled out in The Wrestler, and he pulled it all out then. Beautiful scene. I was so happy.

Gunner Jenson (Dolph Lundgren) The man is showing his age in every way. But all things considering he shows that he still has it. The same thing that I remember from Ivan Drago in Rocky 4, to his role of Andrew Scott in the first Universal Soldier. This man is a treat and a surprise to watch. He plays his role as a sniper who has his own personal demons to carry, and at one point he goes turncoat and turns against the other Expendables, but he does redeem himself and it made me happy. Great to see him back. Another hidden gem in this movie. My dark horse pick for the movie.

Now for the bad guys...

James Monroe, (Eric Roberts) Plays his part well as the true main villain and they show the difference between him and cohort General Garza (David Zayas from Dexter). They show this man as no scruples or morals and would execute his momma for a lollipop. Pretty much in one scene they pretty much say that without actually saying it. He is one evil bastard as the CIA agent gone rogue and turned international drug dealer.

General Garza, (David Zayas) the man who you think has all of the power and there was an arrangement with him and Monroe, but you see just how shaky that alliance is real quick. Is Monroe has no scruples, Garza actually has morals or that point where he will never go too far. He may be a sick bastard, but he gives you a way out. Monroe don't do that and Garza's only heart left is for his daughter Sandra. He played his part well.

The Brit (Gary Daniels) and Paine (Steve Austin) both are hired goons for Monroe but they compliment each other and well compliment Monroe. Similar dispositions and means to get it done. They are like pit bulls that Monroe just cuts loose on on a whim. They play their parts well, and The Brit gets to shine as an expert martial artist, and I love how he goes out...because he pretty much gets beat the [frick] down rest of the Expendables and throws down with Ying Yang a little bit too. Paine, does his part and taken out by Toll Road but its good. A little wrestling match.

I do love the fight scenes, very close, and very very gritty. Blurry and head spinning at times but your up close and in the action right there. If it was 3D, you could probably feel the kicks to your face but I am glad that it was not in 3d because if it was it then become another GIMMICK MOVIE.

In closing, yes in closing, this movie meets all expectations, and is worth watching in the theater, seeing it again, and even owning it on Blu-Ray and DVD when it comes out. Very fun movie. If you haven't check it out, you need to.
AlexDeLarge87 - 8/14/2010, 7:00 AM
The Expendables! 100% PURE ACTION!!!:D
Todd Gray - 8/14/2010, 7:41 PM


Dirty Dozen and the Magnificent Seven.

They just don't do movies that great anymore IMO.
Phinehas - 8/14/2010, 11:22 PM
This movie sucked on many levels...
Matador - 8/14/2010, 11:46 PM
@ Phinehas - And you were born in 98'.
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