My Mother "Reviews" Man of Steel
I, TheManFromMars, have watched MoS yesterday and wondered if I should post a review, but after having an... interesting discussion about the movie with my mother, I thought you guys may find her thoughts about the movie a little more entertaining than mine...
Hi, folks. I am TheManFromMars and yesterday I saw Man of Steel for the first time with my mother.
The theater was full, (There was even a guy dressed in full Superman costume. Cape and undies) and we had to sit on the third row, eyes glued to the screen. Suprisingly, it didn't bother me, but my mom thought it was uncomfortable, and gave her a headache.
My mother loves watching Superhero Movies, but she's still extremelly comic illiterate, and she has a hard time remembering fictional characters' names. The only Hero alter egos she knows are Clark Kent, Peter Parker, and Tony Stark.
As soon as the movie ended and the words "Man of Steel" appeared on the screen, we had this conversation:
Mom: Will this have an extra scene like those other ones?
Me: Like Marvel's? No, I don't think so...
Mom: Good. So we can go home.
Me: So... What did you think of the movie?
Mom: Too much destruction! I mean, those buildings... Superman is supposed to save people! How much did he kill?
Me: Yeah, this is a criticism some people are having with the movie. So, you didn't like it?
Mom: No, I liked it. I really did.
Me: What did you think of Henry Cavill?
Me: The new Superman.
Mom: Oh, he was hot.
Me: You think he was better than Christopher Reeve?
Mom: Oh, those blue eyes... Reeve was hot too when he was younger.
Me: That's not exactly what I meant, but okay. You know, there was an Eater Egg in the movie, but I didn't want to tell you in the theater to not disturb the other people. And it was too fast, so you wouldn't notice it anyway.
Mom: What was it?
Me: You know when Zod and Superman are fighting in space and they hit a satelite? On the side of the satelite was the logo of Wayne Enterprises!
Me: You know what that means?
Mom: John Wayne?
Me: No. Bruce Wayne.
Mom: Batman? (Laughs) They were trying to kill each other!
Me: I'm sorry, what?
Mom: They're neighbors on Krypton!
Me: Mom, Batman is not from Krypton.
Mom: Superman is.
Me: I know that. (A half hour later) You know, about the movie again, there was one, two actually, memes about Superman's fathers that I thought were funny.
Mom: Which father?
Me: Both. One is about how both actors who played Superman's fathers played Robin Hood in the past.
Mom: They did?
Me: Yeah. The other one shows a picture of Jor-El and says "Died saving his son from a planet's destruction" and then a picture of Jonathan Kent saying "Died saving a dog from a tornado".
Mom: Yeah. And the dog's name was Jonathan.
Me: No. The dog's name was Hank.
Mom: Who was Jonathan?
Me: The father!
Mom: (Laughs) They were yelling "Jonathan! Jonathan!" I thought they were calling the dog. And the father opened the door, saved the dog, and was killed. And Superman did nothing.
Me: Well, he wanted to. But his father didn't let him. There were too many witnesses. He needed to protect his secret.
Mom: Bullshit! He needed to save his father! What was the name of the movie again?
Me: Man of Steel. Why?
Mom: Well, it's Superman. It should have been "Superman". Then again, that guy didn't look very "Superman" to me...
Me: What do you mean?
Mom: The other guy was kicking his ass!
Mom: Yeah, his uncle.
Me: Zod wasn't his uncle.
Mom: Wasn't he the brother of his father?
Mom: What was he?
Me: A General.
Me: What did you think about Superman having to break his neck in the end?
Mom: He had to! He was about to cut those people up with those eyes! Who were them?
Mom: Yeah, at first I thought it was his mother, but then I saw they had children... So yeah, he had to kill him.
Me: Mom, I think I'm gonna write an article on the Internet about what you thought, if you don't mind...
Mom: What? A review? You're gonna write my thoughts and yours?
Me: Not mine. Just yours.
Mom: Why? You think they're interesting?
Me: I think they're funny.
Me: You keep forgetting the characters' names, plot points, and the title of the movie!
Mom: Damn right, I do!
Mom: BOOM! Snapped Neck!
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