NOVA'S FUNHOUSE: Meeting of the Villains

The first of the get together funhouses. Some of your favourite villains get together to discuss their maniacal ways and exchange notes. Madness is sure to ensue in this instalment of Nova's Funhouse!

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By NovaCorpsFan - 12/20/2013


Mr. Burns, Dr. Doom, Joker and Carnage sit around a table. The setting is a small wooden walled room. A few empty glasses sit on the table with a deck of cards.

Dr. Doom: Anybody fancy a game of shit head?

Joker: Yeah, but make su--

Dr. Doom: Yes, I'll make sure to take out the jokers.

Joker: Am I becoming that easy to predict? Have I lost my gravitas?

Carnage: OhhHh, of cOUrsE noT, yOu'Re sTilL in yoUr pRimE! I'd giVe anYthINg to bE as gOooooOoOOooOoD a vIllAin as you!

Joker: Fuck you and your sarcasm.

Burns: I apologise for the interjection, but aren't we supposed to be discussing my absolving of Oscorp?

Dr. Doom: Ha! Like that's ever going to work! We never manage to succeed in our plans, I don't see why we make them.

Joker: Yeah.

Carnage: yEaH...

Burns: I once succeeded in blocking out the sun.

The others look at Burns, with utter astonishment. Carnage's jaw hits the ground with a clunk.

Joker: You mean to tell me, you succeeded in a villainous scheme?

Burns: Of course, I'm a villain, I plan things well and get whatever the hell I want. Why? Haven't you?

Thge others ponder the question for a moment.

Carnage: OooOooOoOoOOOoOH, I knOw! I pUshEd mY nAnnY dOwn ThE stAirS!

Joker: You didn't really plan that, though, did you?

Carnage: ... nO.

A door opens opposite the table. A black caped figure enters, his breath rasping.

Vader: Sorry I'm late. Bastard child of mine decided to burn me without checking for a pulse.

Burns: I know the feeling... Have you heard from Bob?

Vader: No, he's in prison again.

Burns: Such an imbecile.

Carange: I reMemBeR whEn I wAs in pRisOn. It wAsn'T gReAt! For mY cEll mAtEs at leAsT...

Dr. Doom: You're disgusting, why do we invite you to these things?

Joker: 'Cause I need someone to have casual conversation with.

Vader: There's a party down at Ocks's bar. Grand opening, he's calling it, The Four Metallic Arms. Thought we should go.

Joker: Oh, can we, Victor? T'would be ever so nice to meet more people!

Burns: But what about the Oscorp thing?

Carnage: MaYbe hE'll be tHeRe, yOu caN Ask hIm yoUrsElF!

Dr. Doom: No, Burns is right, we should get ba--

Vader (waving his hand): We don't need to discuss the Osc--

Dr. Doom: Don't even try that with me, Vader. Sit down, we have work to do.

Vader: Killjoy...


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16 Comments
FlixMentallo21 - 12/20/2013, 7:19 PM
....................BWA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA! Oh man, I approve! Especially the bit with Burns one-upping the likes of Joker, Doom, and of all people, CARNAGE!
BenjiWest - 12/20/2013, 7:41 PM
Great article, NCF.
PsychoManiacJacky - 12/20/2013, 9:49 PM
:)
ndwwrestler2 - 12/21/2013, 5:59 AM
I had more fun with this than I should have.
DEVLIN712 - 12/21/2013, 9:03 AM
Great as usual.
But c'mon, we need CBM.com's dynamic due, Gusto and his sex slave side kick Cipher!
DEVLIN712 - 12/21/2013, 9:08 AM
Also, been looking around the Fan-fics for a while, are we getting Fun Houses in comic book format now?!?
cipher - 12/21/2013, 9:58 AM
"'Cause I need someone to have casual conversation with."

Hehehe, I think a lot of us know someone like that. There's always that one bastard in the group who can not only keep up with your psychotic sense of humour, but outdo it. You'll both laugh like hyenas at all the filthy jokes that you'd think twice about repeating in front of your girlfriends.

Good stuff, as usual.
cipher - 12/21/2013, 10:00 AM
DEV- Hahaha, what happens in the dank, scary dungeon stays in the dank, scary dungeon.

By the way, Nova, you came up with the name for Ock's place the other day, didn't you? Nice to see you kept it, mate.
countrymadness - 12/21/2013, 11:53 AM
The Joker needs to be more.... Jokery...
SCURVYDOG619 - 12/21/2013, 12:35 PM
Needs a visit from..KHAAAAAN! (Talking about OG Khan, mind you...)

Here's an idea: James T. Kirk trying to woo Gamora...lol
NovaCorpsFan - 12/21/2013, 1:15 PM
DEV

Yeah, Doopie's working on one. His art is coop, so I'm sure we'll see something cool. He's nearly finished it anyway.

ciph

You never fail to speak the truth. And yeah, I said that in the HISHE article. I loved the name, so I kept it. Might reference it every now and then in future instalments.
NovaCorpsFan - 12/21/2013, 1:19 PM
Sorry, *cool, not 'coop'.

DEVLIN712 - 12/21/2013, 2:34 PM
Sounds great Nova. Soon we'll all be working together and the website will be at peace, who gives a phuck about Marvel v DC, we'll be better than them both
NovaCorpsFan - 12/21/2013, 3:05 PM
I dunno about that now, DEV, but we'll certainly try!
DEVLIN712 - 12/21/2013, 4:23 PM
I even found us a logo, ya know, it's not like anyone argues around here...

NovaCorpsFan - 12/21/2013, 5:27 PM
Lol, DEV. I can see that going down a storm!

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