Making your own version of THE HANGOVER!? Sure, stealing that premise might be a shortcut to video success but understand, when you match that series beat-for-beat you are just begging to be compared. Especially when the film is incompetently written, directed, and poorly acted, that comparison will leave you worse than hung over.
With the wild summer season drawn closed it is time to assess the results, or in my case, the damage. There was victory, carnage, and quite a bit of shoulder shrugging as everyone tried to make sense of it all.
Why is it that an asinine shark movie on a cable network has captured the nation's attention? A look into why schools of fans are enamored with an unnatural disaster.
Aaron Eckhart mimics Jason Bourne as he races around Belgium while trying to reconnect with his estranged daughter. The fact that her life becomes endangered numerous times at his own hand redefines the meaning of his being "dangerous".
Adam Sandler has offered his first ever sequel, and marketing it has been dicey. Between a depressed department store chain and an "official" chili, there are plenty of infantile GROWN UPS 2 promotions.
Next, a stoner-horror-comedy-thriller appears on the slab. Semblance to the classic fairy-tale is slight; the focus on any one theme even slighter. You’ll be correct to guess the film makers were burning more than the midnight oil
Cuba Gooding Jr. extends his career as a DVD-list performer here in an Australian "thriller" that is unthrilling and looks to be set in a Florida panhandle resort. Team him with a reporter who has more skills and you have a mirthful fiasco on your hands.
An apocalyptic weather film created by people suffering from a brain cloud, featuring characters in polar conditions wearing cleavage-bearing sun shirts. The forensic video examiner turns meteorologist as this disc appears on the gurney because it precipitated falling IQ numbers.
When a DVD arrives DOA it goes under the knife to find the cause. John Cusack appears on the gurney for analysis once again. We get a CIA black ops international thriller – which takes place entirely indoors. It’s like someone’s vacation video shot entirely in a hotel conference room.
Were you eager to see Arnold Schwarzenegger return to his action roots? How about roadblocks...any interest there? Well you will be served large amounts of both in this feature, so strap in for all your cinematic wishes to be granted!
A new independant title from an upstart comic book source delivers a surprisingly satisfying debut.
Since the 1950s Hollywood has tried to make a compelling spider-invasion film. They are still trying -- and this latest DOA DVD proves they are still failing. Time to cut open this attack on New York to see what failed.
The unfunny Chris Kattan actually creates a humor vortex in this newest DVD to arrive DOA. The only thing humorous is considering the Saudi money the production collected to make this a cinematic equivalent to an oil spill.
A bone-in-the-nose pygmy teaches us racism is bad? The next DVD to arrive DOA is a would-be social commentary made by a trashy pulp mill. Appearing on the gurney is a vicious stereotype being used to condemn vicious streotypes. It is worse than it sounds.
The next DVD to arrive DOA involves a community tormented by an evil storm cloud. I’d say one possible reason it appears on the gurney for analysis may be that the supposed evil is neutralized by the wonders of . . . duct tape.
When a DVD is DOA it goes under the knife. Take Miley Cyrus, add a heavy dose of Jeremy Piven, and mix with a Disney Channel plot altered for the whipped cream vodka set and you have all the elements which typify a direct-to-rental disaster.
When a DVD arrives DOA it goes under the knife to find the cause. A found-footage sequel tries to avoid copying the original. It appears on the gurney for analysis by copying every other film in the genre.
Most found footage releases feature similar content, for obvious reasons. But these tropes which are basically required to make them work may also be making them obsolete.
Next time you are invited to a wedding take a second look at the towering cake -- you may spy a subversive surprise.
When a DVD arrives DOA it goes under the knife to find the cause. A title languishing on a studio shelf for years finally sees a release. John Cusack barely shows effort and as a result he appears on the gurney for analysis.
When a DVD arrives DOA it goes under the knife to find the cause. This week another foray into the video game adaptation genre ends up on the slab for analysis.
This year sees the release calendar shot full of more holes than your average vehicle from The Expendables -- or the plot for that matter. Here is a look into why so many titles have seen release dates come and go in 2013.
The ultimate in WTF-ery. A kid’s film for this column? Yes, but it is also a historic failure. When a DVD is DOA it goes under the knife to find the cause. What appears next on the gurney is a film meant to generate childhood fealty but instead set box office records in futility.
When a DVD arrives DOA it goes under the knife to find the cause. An under-funded, underthought subversive hero film appears on the gurney for analysis. Read on for my take on this latest specimen, All Superheroes Must Die.
Jabba is one of the worst criminals in the galaxy. But the murderous slave-owning criminal kingpin has finally done something to anger people -- he has been politically incorrect!