Watchtower Tales

Click and come find out what the Watchtower "B" teamers have to say about this week in comic book movie news. DOFP, Edgar Wright, and more are discussed.

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By BenjiWest - 5/26/2014

Hello CBMers!!!

 
Basic premise, after the big victory a few of our favorite superheroes gather for some drinks and a little discussion. Allowing commentary on comic book movie things and whatnot. Ok, so gathered here today we have: Atom, Zatanna, Flash, Hawkman, and Black Lightning. The second shift crew.

 
FLASH: "So, BL, did you get to see that new X-Men movie?"

BLACK LIGHTNING: "Hell no! In case you may not know...this superhero is ballin' on a budget, and there's a new Adam Sandler movie out."

ZATANNA: "You must be kidding BL. When I heard of that movie, I seriously thought Sandler was going to be 'magically transformed' into a blender. And he has to show his kids how much he has changed, while entering a contest to make the world's greatest smoothie."

FLASH: "Well, it was pretty good. X-Men, I mean. I didn't see that blender movie."

ATOM: "The movie also brings up an interesting concept. What if you could go and just...delete certain movies of a franchise. Rewrite the continuity. Imagine what they could do."

HAWKMAN: "Really? That idea is just like your ex-wife Atom. Beautiful but crazy as shit."

ATOM: "Yeah. I mean if you could remove a film from a franchise, which one would you remove?"

ZATANNA: "Easy. Scary Movie 2. And 3. And 4. Plus 5, and while were at it, those even cheaper knock offs, Haunted Houses."

BLACK LIGHTNING: "They could get rid of that last Indy flick, kingdom of the crystal meth skulls."

FLASH: "Ha. You know I heard they had a plan for that...but apparently, it turned out the script they had was a pure scene for scene, word for word, rip off of Days of Future Past. That script was written by Shia Labouf."

HAWKMAN: "Hey! You leave Shia alone Flashturd! That's my man. I would be incredibly honored if me and Hawkgirl had a son like him. Makes me tear up, our own Cawkboy!"

BLACK LIGHTNING: "Hell, what movie would you have removed Hawkman?"

HAWKMAN: "I don't know about that. I just want some more damn Crocodile Dundee movies. Damn there are about a hundred Halloween movies but so little Crocodile Dundee movies. I mean, Paul Hogan is as likable as a serial killer in a mask, right?"

ATOM: "Did you hear about the director of the Antman movie quitting?"

HAWKMAN: "Wait a damn minute!! You're telling me, you're actually going to sit there and say, that they're making an Antman movie? No Hawkman flick? Hell, no Wonder Woman movie? No Hulk sequel? But...Antman?!? Where the hell did I put my mace? Time to pay a visit to Hollywood."

ZATANNA: "Really? Wow, I wonder what happened?"

ATOM: "Don't know. Rumors say, he had been working on the film since 2006."

BLACK LIGHTNING: "Damn. That's before Iron Man. Hell, Bush was president and Lance Armstrong and Tiger Woods were beloved."

FLASH: "The guy that made 'Shaun of the Dead', right? That was a cool movie. Hmm, bet it would've been pretty cool."

ZATANNA: "I wouldn't worry about it to much. The people at Marvel saw 'You, Me and Dupree' and said, the director of this, they definitely could direct a huge superhero blockbuster movie. Turns out, they were right, the Captain America sequel is big money."

HAWKMAN: "You know what else doesn't need a sequel? That Stallone epic, 'Bullet to the Head'. It needs a sequel, like...hehe...like, a bullet to the head. Hahaha, ahhh...I'm funny. I should write this stuff down, send it into Readers Digest."

FLASH: "Hmm, Readers Digest? The magazine that no one would ever purchase or read, unless you're in a waiting room. Then it becomes must read."

ZATANNA: "Is anyone as disturbed as me, by those cable commercials, the one where the dude is married to a marionette woman? And she tries to turn him on?"

FLASH: "What's even weirder, is that they have a little marionette kid."

ATOM: "Yeah, Batman even has a plan in his book of 'Prepared for Anything'. One with how to combat an army of life size marionettes. Actually, it's just a pair of scissors."

BLACK LIGHTNING: "You know what else is creepy? That new McDonalds happy meal mascot. I mean, those eyes. Those eyes. I mean we've faced the evils of Darkseid, Larfleeze, and Two-Face, but nothing haunts my nightmares quite like that Happy Meal creature."

A loud ringtone of Daft Punk's song "Get Lucky" sounds in the air.

HAWKMAN: "Oh! That's me! I got a text here...hmm...lets see....a pic...so, that's where I left my mace. It's at Atom's ex-wife's place."

The group stare at Hawkman in unison with a stunned glance.

HAWKMAN: "What?? Ok...Ok, I said she was crazy, but lest we forget...crazy AND beautiful."


Thanks so much for reading.
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3 Comments
alamborn19 - 5/26/2014, 8:33 PM
That was hilarious do more!
Doopie - 5/27/2014, 2:03 AM
Loved it. Also this...



BenjiWest - 5/27/2014, 10:37 AM
@alamborn19 - thank you so much. I think there will be some more...

@doop - you've just given validity to the nightmares!

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