WATCHTOWER TALES: THE AWESOME CONSTANTINE

This week the second shift welcomes John Constantine. Click and see them discuss his show and online dating? yes, online dating. Guaranteed to get the lol.

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By BenjiWest - 5/30/2014

 

Hello CBMers!!!
 
Basic premise, after the big victory a few of our favorite superheroes gather for some drinks and a little discussion. Allowing commentary on comic book movie things and whatnot. Ok, so gathered here today we have: Atom, Zatanna, Hawkman, Black Lightning, and Constantine. The second shift crew.


ATOM: "Let me be the first to say, thank you for the help today John Constantine. Faust is always a tough take down."

CONSTANTINE: "No problem mate. How could I not of helped out, especially after Zee's plea for assistance."

ZATANNA: "Don't flatter yourself honey. Batman asked me to find you. He thought of you, not me. I'd be shocked if you could pull a rabbit out of your hat."

CONSTANTINE: "Passion. I feel it. And darling, I can pull out plenty more than a rabbit."

BLACK LIGHTNING: "I heard you had a show in the works, John?"

CONSTANTINE: "That's right, I do. It's an epic yarn of a man caught in the middle of a war between heaven and hell on Earth."

ATOM: "Oh, so it's like that show 'Supernatural'?"

CONSTANTINE: "No. Did you not here me? Wait? What the bloody hell is 'Supernatural'?"

ATOM: "It's a show about these brothers that are caught in the middle of a war between angels and demons. On Earth."

CONSTANTINE: "Oh. Well then. It's a lot like that then."

HAWKMAN: "Where the hell is Flash?"

BLACK LIGHTNING: "Man, he's on to bigger and better things. He's far to busy rubbing elbows with the A team. Hell, I heard he's been texting Zack Snyder."

HAWKMAN: "That's just great. Well, he can fast off for all I care. The guy does owe me twelve dollars. But you know, it's great to have John Constantine here."

ZATANNA: "Said no one. Ever."

CONSTANTINE: "Ouch. I'm hurt Zee. You must still be upset about that thing in Nanda Parbat. Look, I thought the louse was dead. Gone. No better time for a cigarette in my opinion. Ok, perhaps second best. You know what number one is. Besides, Swamp Thing was there."

HAWKMAN: "What?!? Ole Swampies still sprouting about? How the hell is he? Does he still hook up with Heather Locklear?"

CONSTANTINE: "pulls out and lights a cigarette Oh yeah mate, Swamp Thing's a proper sod. And yes. He still hooks up with TJ Hooker."

BLACK LIGHTNING: "Ha. Hawkman only asks because of how unlucky he's had it with the ladies as of late. That damn M date."

CONSTANTINE: "M date?"

HAWKMAN: "You son of a....yeah. Times have been hard lately, ever since Hawkgirl decided she wanted to do her own thing."

ZATANNA: "Oh, so you guys are kind of like Sonny and Cher. But, what is M date?"

HAWKMAN: "It's this dating website for superheroes. Mask date dot com. Yes. Yes, the winged one is on it. Look for my profile, Cawkman69. I've had no luck though. Except this one chick, she's supposedly an alternate Earth Wonder Woman. Her name's Gal Gadot. But. I don't know. Don't think I believe that."

BLACK LIGHTNING: "Haha. Damn. Vibe's on that site too. His profile cracks me up man. His name is dirty Sanchez vibe. Haha."

CONSTANTINE: "Haha. Vibe is quickly becoming on of my favorites . You ever think of getting in on that BL?"

BLACK LIGHTNING: "Man, I got kids."

HAWKMAN: "Don't let him fool you. He's there. Just look for static shocker. Yeah, you know...two in the..."

ZATANNA: "rolls her eyes and notices the large book in front of Atom What's that Atom? Looks like a copy of the bible or something."

ATOM: "No, not that. This, is the latest of Batman's preparation plans. I admit, it's incredibly large."

ZATANNA: "What's it for?"

ATOM: "Oh, um...security at the World Cup in Rio de Janeiro."

BLACK LIGHTNING: "Whoa. Brazil's that dangerous. Damn, I'm going to have to call Bea on that one."

ATOM: "Apparently. Also, there's something in here about battling the Michael Jackson hologram, in case it ever turned evil. Ugh. A PHD in physics, for this?"

ZATANNA: "So if it hadn't been for physics, what would you be doing, Atom?"

ATOM: "I was this close, I swear, to just dropping out of college and becoming a DJ. Turn down for what, was my motto."

BLACK LIGHTNING: "Haha. So that's you on M date then? Right, man? DJ Atom Bomb?"

CONSTANTINE: "Jeez, you guys are some hopeless chaps. Pulls out smart phone and begins typing on it"

BLACK LIGHTNING: "Welcome to the second shift. We hear it all the time. Man, Cyborg has been talking so much shit. All about his dish soap movie, Dawn of Justice."

HAWKMAN: "What?!? Cyborg's in that?!? These f....mmm...where! Did I put my mace?"

ZATANNA: "grabs the smart phone out of Constantine's hand What are you doing, John? What's this? Oh my god. Are you making a M date profile? Bwahaha. Whoa, what is this name? You serious?Hellblazer?"

CONSTANTINE: "Give me that! What? Batman was taken."

Thanks for reading!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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10 Comments
spookybear3 - 5/30/2014, 11:54 AM
Love it Benji! Nice ending!
BenjiWest - 5/30/2014, 12:02 PM
Thanks, spooky! Greatly appreciated, as usual.
Doopie - 5/30/2014, 12:08 PM
Benji that was the best one yet! Seriously funny stuff...almost spat out my drink at one point.

I wanna make a bunch of accounts so I can thumb this more than once!

Do mooooore!
BenjiWest - 5/30/2014, 12:14 PM
Thanks so much Doop! I was inspired by all the great Doopie Doodles articles, I had to step up. But, yeah, I just crack up at the whole dirty Sanchez vibe.
Doopie - 5/30/2014, 12:16 PM
lol, that's the way I feel...whenever I see someone do something awesome on here I feel the need to step up my game. Keep on going buddy
MightyZeus - 5/30/2014, 8:21 PM
I like it. I thought it was good.
BenjiWest - 5/30/2014, 10:25 PM
@MightyZues - many thanks oh mighty one. Btw, I really like the McAvoy avi, best thing in DOFP imo. For some reason I can't stop walking around and shouting, "I don't want your suffering. I don't want your future!"
Sumitsjc - 5/31/2014, 12:08 AM
"Batman was taken"

ha ha....
cipher - 6/2/2014, 9:06 AM
Haha, John's the man.

Nice one, man.
BenjiWest - 6/2/2014, 10:24 AM
@sumitsjc - right? Thanks for the read. Greatly appreciated.

@cipher - definitely, I'm looking forward to his show. Thanks for the read as well.

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