Ror Revisits: Catwoman

I've decided to go back over the bad ones for my next few revisits. Let's start with the baddest of the bad, a movie widely regarded as of the worst of all time,2004's Catwoman starring Halle Berry..

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By Mark "RorMachine" Cassidy - 7/9/2011
I wanted to go back and take a look at a real stinker, and they don't come any stinkier than Catwoman. Truth be told I had never actually watched this movie right the way through, I always missed a few scenes here and there or just zoned out I guess. This time I watched with a friend who had never seen it and watching her reactions made the experience entertaining enough. So much so that I actually found myself not HATING the movie. I mean don't get me wrong it's awful, but because it doesn't really aspire to be anything other than that, I guess I was able to laugh along with it at times rather than constantly at it.



Maybe another reason that I can kinda forgive Catwoman is that it doesn't shit all over THE Catwoman. In this story it's not Selina Kyle but Patience Philips. And she doesn't just take on the persona of a Cat, she actually has Cat-like super powers, a result of her resurrection by an envoy of the Egyptian Cat-God Bast. Yes, you read that right. So we are then treated to an admittedly very sexy(if totally trashy looking) Halle Berry running around fighting crime with the aid of very bad CGI and a worse soundtrack( Mis-Teeq). I think the movie is an attempt at a "girl power" CBM. But the Director, a dude who calls himself "Pitof"(I'm sure we will be seeing much more from him) is just not talented enough to pull it off. All of the attempts at making this some kind of female empowerment story kind of go out the window when every second shot is a close up of Berry's ass. He is also inept at shooting action. There might have been some fun to be had watching Berry kick a few guys around the place but it's all twirling camera and fast cuts and just, BAD. There is also no attempt made to flesh out the characters or the story and the acting is pretty awful, although, Berry isn't quite as bad as you might have heard or expect. She at least seems to have recognized that this movie was a lost cause and has a bit of fun with it. The fact that she turned up to collect her worst actress Razzie award would seem to further suggest this. Sharon Stone hits a career low as the villain. Really fucking terrible. Benjamin Bratt attempts to play it straight as the good cop infatuated with Catwoman, and suffers for it. And they all spout rotten dialog for the majority of the movie.

Basically, a load of crap then. But like I said it's hard to muster up too much bile when watching at the same time. Maybe it's because the movie is now just accepted as one of the worst of all time in any genre that I could have a bit of fun with it. And fans of campy, silly rubbish(they are out there!) will probably enjoy the Hell out of it. For the rest of us, I don't recommend you go back and give it another watch, and for those who have never seen it I certainly don't suggest you do. But I dunno, maybe I'm getting to mellow in my old age. I kinda, sorta, a LITTLE tiny bit, enjoyed watching it again.






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PaulRom - 7/9/2011, 7:01 AM
1.5/5 is too high in my book. Barely deserves a 1. :P
Still a good review @Ror.
RorMachine - 7/9/2011, 7:03 AM
Ah I had to give it the extra half..even just for Halle's rack:)
Fantine - 7/9/2011, 7:08 AM
I loved this movie when it first came out, (i was 10) i dont know why I loved it, I just did. It started my whole obsession with Catwoman, but as I did my research and found out the comics were nothing like this movie, I began to love Selina Kyle and not Patience Phillips. I would give it 3/5.
sheebz - 7/9/2011, 7:10 AM
ror, ur on a writing rampage today

p.s. this movie was a disgrace
EditNinja - 7/9/2011, 7:12 AM
Pitof -(French for 'pitiful') This was the end of directing for him; a visual effects clown, known for fast editing.

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0685759/
Hawksblueyes - 7/9/2011, 7:13 AM
I enjoy movies that are "campy, silly, rubbish" when that was the intention of the film to begin with (the best example would be Big Trouble in Little China). When a film is shot as a serious story and it still manages to fall into those categories, it can tend to make a person uncomfortable watching it and therefor FAILS like this one did.
Sjet - 7/9/2011, 7:13 AM
I tried Ror but I'm just not as generous as you, but I don't blame Berry, I liked her as Storm although some more character development on her wouldn't have hurt. The shots of her ass were probably the highest points of the movie (I'm trash I know).
Knightstalker - 7/9/2011, 7:14 AM
It still doesn't beat Batman & Robin for worst CBM ever.
EditNinja - 7/9/2011, 7:18 AM
It's no Robocop III (IMDB Rating 3.5)
and yet Catwoman scores an IMDB Rating of 3.2!
Whaaaaht?
StrangerX - 7/9/2011, 7:19 AM
I tend to watch any CBM when me and Mary Jane are hanging out, but for some reason I can't do it with this one.
hewilldefytheirgravity - 7/9/2011, 7:21 AM
This movie served no purpose at all. No matter who played Catwoman the film was never gonna carry weight with the movie going public. Simply not that strong of a character as far as popularity.
CherryBomb - 7/9/2011, 7:26 AM

I think this gets a lot of unfair criticism. It's not a comic adaptation, it was a movie that was inspired by the character of Catwoman. Aside from that it wasn't a bad movie, cheesey, cliche, but all superhero movies are like that.
Sharon Stone rocked and Halle is great.
gambgel - 7/9/2011, 7:35 AM
I enjoyed this movie when it was released.

Its not a masterpiece, the same as many comicbookmovies, but its entertaining.

So thats fine.
Hellsing - 7/9/2011, 7:35 AM
why was there even Catwoman movie made I mean she's a great supporting character and has had some good comic book runs but holding up a movie on her own I don't think so, makes me wonder WTF was going through WB's head when they green lit this instead of Wonder Woman. Catwoman and Elektra [frick]ed up the chances of any female lead CBM's.
RorMachine - 7/9/2011, 7:37 AM
They could have made a great Catwoman movie if they adapted some of her solo comic stories. I mean batman pops up in most of em but that could have been left out.

Tea, haha, maybe! I was thinking Elektra
JM4Superman - 7/9/2011, 7:49 AM
Catwoman should be used for capital punishment
patriautism - 7/9/2011, 7:51 AM
I watched about a half of it and couldn't go on.
soundwave129 - 7/9/2011, 7:52 AM
I want to see your review of Steel. ;)
SpiderBat209 - 7/9/2011, 8:06 AM
@Teabag----Howard the Duck Rules! Granted, it went overboard with the duck jokes, but the humor in that movie was waaaaaay ahead of its time! XD

Plus Lea Thompson in her undies was PLUS! ;D
RorMachine - 7/9/2011, 8:17 AM
Weneed, why is that?

GUNSMITH - 7/9/2011, 8:37 AM
CATWOMAN, HAH!... THEY SHOULDN'T HAVE EVEN CALLED IT CATWOMAN, I THINK WHAT THEY DID WAS "RIDE THE NAME"..LIKE LET'S USE THE NAME BUT TOTALLY DO SOMETHING ELSE OF OUR OWN DESIGN, "LET'S CALL IT CATWOMAN BUT MAKE UP ALL OUR OWN STUFF."..OR "TROJAN HORSE" BASICALLY SAYING OH ITS THIS, BUT SURPRISE..NOT REALLY.
GUNSMITH - 7/9/2011, 8:46 AM
I THINK IF YOU NAMED IT ANYTHING ELSE BUT "CATWOMAN" PEOPLE WOULD HAVE BEEN OK WITH IT SORTA..KINDA.I DUNNO..



"CATRAH"......"LADY CAT"......."CAT GIRL"........" PURR"......"PUSSY"......."SCRATCH AND SNIFF"....
Tonic24k - 7/9/2011, 8:54 AM
"...getting to mellow in my old age." For a writer you really shouldn't be letting this kind of typo or grammatical mistake happen. "Too" is the correct word. Also, admitting that you somewhat enjoyed watching this again concedes you of so much credibility in writing reviews. This movie was yucky and everyone knows it! You're a whole star off, homeboy.
AgeofApocalypse - 7/9/2011, 9:12 AM
@JM4Superman - I think the Constitution forbids 'cruel and unusual' punishment.
patriautism - 7/9/2011, 9:13 AM
@Tonic24k

"admitting that you somewhat enjoyed watching this again concedes you of so much credibility in writing reviews"

If it catered to everyone's opinions, then it by definition wouldn't be Ror's review, now would it?
Also, get an effing avatar already.
Jonet - 7/9/2011, 9:17 AM
He actually did a movie in France called "Vidocq" that I really enjoyed both visually and in terms of plot development. Catwoman, however, was really really bad, although I agree with Gunsmith that if it had been the story of an original and new female superhero many people would have probably been ok with it.

PS: In European Spanish "Pito" means "Cock" and "Whistle", so imagine how awful his name sounds in Spain... haha
NorrinRaddical - 7/9/2011, 9:41 AM
Ror i gotta give you a ton of credit for giving this movie about as fair of a shot as one possibly could. i think you're right about the somewhat "girl power" aspect (i mean, it was even nice to see a female villain here). Halle Berry at the time was going through a terrible divorce (seriously, who the hell cheats on Halle Berry?) and she remarked that the film was 100% therapy for her. sympathetic as i am to this, i don't even allow myself to consider this a DC related comic book property (ha)
chessteve - 7/9/2011, 10:17 AM
The head gear was just awful. And the costume was BAD. You have to get something right before the movie starts shooting.
DOA
bfprimetime - 7/9/2011, 10:44 AM
I don't hate the movie, I think a reference to Batman may have helped it out. I've seen worse comicbook movies. 1.5 is a fine rating
RorMachine - 7/9/2011, 11:12 AM
Weeneed, yes, I kinda sorta enjoyed how bad it was or did you miss my one and a half star rating?
RABB1T - 7/9/2011, 11:21 AM
Great review Ror, you have a solid opinion, you arent easily influenced. That is a great thing to have haha.
molee - 7/9/2011, 12:13 PM
LOL!
this is too much appreciation for the crappiest film in human history!
NeoBaggins - 7/9/2011, 12:14 PM
I think I was about to watch a terrible film when I first saw this trailer; Resident Evil: Apocalypse. I was curious. I couldn't believe the first RE rated a sequel, so you can understand my amazement that they made even more after that one.

The strange thing about CATWOMAN is that it was the soundtrack that I remember. I can't recall the horribleness of the movie in detail, but I remember the music. It was so cliche. It sounded lie the music in the McDonald's commercials they would play during Soul Train.
rbfn04 - 7/9/2011, 2:20 PM
Whatever, Halle Berry wearing a sexy outfit. I'm there.
Newbe - 7/9/2011, 2:42 PM
Fair review.
NeoBaggins - 7/9/2011, 2:56 PM
Let's make this interesting.

daschysta - 7/9/2011, 3:13 PM
Halle Berry being sexy as hell alone gives this movie more rewatchability than other bad comicbook movies.
jaycr - 7/9/2011, 4:33 PM
It's a mystery for me why directors and script writers have such a hard time working with super heroines. I guess they feel the pressure to please a public they don't really know: WOMEN.

Most people in CBMs are guys and they know what guys like, but when It comes to do something to please girls, things get more complicated or at least they feel that way.

I think that girls are not that different from guys. A smart girl can enjoy a good story without having a handsome man in the leading role falling in love for a girl over nothing and with some cheesy dialogue. Even she can enjoy seeing a girl on screen enjoying her sexuality, hitting on guys and making them nervous.

Part of the appeal of characters like Catwoman is that she is on the line between hero and criminal. She is a naughty pussycat and she has fun with that.

Characters like Wonder Woman could be awesome if the creators release of the moral bs from her stories and just let her be. I hate that Diana doesn't change at all when she becomes Wonder Woman, how can a girl wearing tight pants or a bikini with american flag been shy around men and act like a B***** when they flirt with her?
jaycr - 7/9/2011, 4:33 PM
It's a mystery for me why directors and script writers have such a hard time working with super heroines. I guess they feel the pressure to please a public they don't really know: WOMEN.

Most people in CBMs are guys and they know what guys like, but when It comes to do something to please girls, things get more complicated or at least they feel that way.

I think that girls are not that different from guys. A smart girl can enjoy a good story without having a handsome man in the leading role falling in love for a girl over nothing and with some cheesy dialogue. Even she can enjoy seeing a girl on screen enjoying her sexuality, hitting on guys and making them nervous.

Part of the appeal of characters like Catwoman is that she is on the line between hero and criminal. She is a naughty pussycat and she has fun with that.

Characters like Wonder Woman could be awesome if the creators release of the moral bs from her stories and just let her be. I hate that Diana doesn't change at all when she becomes Wonder Woman, how can a girl wearing tight pants or a bikini with american flag been shy around men and act like a B***** when they flirt with her?
jaycr - 7/9/2011, 4:33 PM
It's a mystery for me why directors and script writers have such a hard time working with super heroines. I guess they feel the pressure to please a public they don't really know: WOMEN.

Most people in CBMs are guys and they know what guys like, but when It comes to do something to please girls, things get more complicated or at least they feel that way.

I think that girls are not that different from guys. A smart girl can enjoy a good story without having a handsome man in the leading role falling in love for a girl over nothing and with some cheesy dialogue. Even she can enjoy seeing a girl on screen enjoying her sexuality, hitting on guys and making them nervous.

Part of the appeal of characters like Catwoman is that she is on the line between hero and criminal. She is a naughty pussycat and she has fun with that.

Characters like Wonder Woman could be awesome if the creators release of the moral bs from her stories and just let her be. I hate that Diana doesn't change at all when she becomes Wonder Woman, how can a girl wearing tight pants or a bikini with american flag been shy around men and act like a B***** when they flirt with her?
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