An Emotional Masochist's Second Exposure To...Arrow! (Be warned: Insane sarcasm and tongue-and-cheek through-out)

An Emotional Masochist's Second Exposure To...Arrow! (Be warned: Insane sarcasm and tongue-and-cheek through-out)

I hated the pilot for Arrow. Agreed 100% with Josh's One Star, would have given it less. I let myself care TOO much, HOPE too much, and it broke my heart. I declared Green Arrow Dead...But I'm giving it a second shot...here's what happened...

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By jjk2814 - 10/18/2012



Hello folks,

If you're like me, you love comics; you love DC and Marvel Characters, and you love seeing them on film. This is Comicbookmovie.com, so those better be true. I used the image above because I am willing to admit that comics and comic book movies and television are like a drug. With the state of comics today, and (with exceptions), the films and T.V. we see featuring comic characters are disappointing to say the least, we have to put up with sub-par treatment of our beloved characters. It's part of life now.

I truly believe that each and every one of us have one comic film or T.V. show that we know we SHOULDN'T like, but do anyways. For me, I have Smallville. I have the entire series and honestly have never, and will never watch seasons 5,6, and most of 7 ever. Lana Lang has no business falling in love with Lex Lutho-No, scratch that: Lex Luthor has no business falling in love with Lana Lang...but I digress...

I'll cut to the chase...I hated the Arrow pilot. Hated it. It offended me. I felt it was so bad, I hated that I watched it.

Now, in Ror and Josh's reviews I think we had enough talk-back about the merits of the show. The purpose of this editorial is...experimental.

I am going to watch Episode 2, despite myself, plunge the needle of CW Melodrama between my pinky toe and...toe next to my pinky toe...and give a moment by moment review of Episode Two Of CW's Arrow: Honor Thy Father

Here it goes...

1.Title..."Honor Thy Father"
Nice, poetic. Howabout honor thy source material?...but, dammit, I'm gonna give this a shot...Let me try again...

2.Okay...Openning shots of Ollie's desolation...Wow...the island looks like a third graders' drawing! But wait! Everything in Smallville looked like a third graders' drawing so, forget that...

3.The narration doesn't bother me so much anymore...At first I thought Ridley Scott deleting Harrison Ford's narration to Blade Runner would be the end of narration FOREVER, but alas...someone said, NO! There is an actor who could give an even MORE DEADPAN narration, so let him try...let the man succeed where Harrison Ford failed...probably intentionally...anyways....

4. You know, I do LOVE the look of Arrow. Really LOVE it...

5. Ollie just killed a bunch of dudes...I hate that. I hate that we are deprived of an Ollie who had to struggle with the CHOICE to kill

6. AHHHHHH!!! OH MY GOODNESS A KARDASHIAN REFERENCE!!! THIS SHOW IS SOO IN TOUCH WITH THIS GENERATION! NO WAY IT COULD BE BAD!!!...oh hell...I'm doing it again...sorry folks...

7. Okay, Ollie is in court, telling the world his story. I like this reality. I like the fleeting shots of Ollie's pain with the reporters asking him about the physical and emotional torture he endured before becoming "Arrow"...

8. Oh for the love of God, I just remembered "Tommy Merlin" is Merlyn....You mean his arch nemesis is HIS BEST FRIEND?!?!?!? I feel like I've seen that before???

9. Oh man...guys...I don't think I can do this...

10. I am a straight man...I should not feel relieved by a scene of a shirtless man banging metal rods against other metal rods because it's better than seeing Black Canary reduced to a Rachel Dawes clone. NOBODY LIKED RACHEL DAWES!!!! She was everyone's least favorite part of those movies...why...why...nothing can make this better...not even beer. You see, that was my plan...If beer can make a 4 look like a 10 then I really thought it could make Arrow's 1 STAR look like...Idunno 2 and a Half...but it cant...

Well At Least I'm half way through the episode...
...

...

....

11. Wait...first commercial break...that means...its only been...nine...minutes...

12. It's DVR, at least I can fast forward through the commercials...but theres still opening credits...I think I wanna cry...

13. Okay, you know, I actually like Stephen Amell...I like him as Ollie, I like his bodyguard...Oh Christ...I just remembered Ollie has a hot sister that fanboys can lust over and pretend like WHEN, not if, but when she becomes "Speedy" to boost ratings, her existence will be fully justified...but...BUT...her drug use is a throwaway reference...WE DONT KNOW HER!!! How are we supposed to care if she takes drugs...God...help me...

I liked Superman Returns...

I liked the Star Wars Prequels...

I lIked Kingdom of the Crystal Skull...

Why can't I like this??? I know everything above was sub-par...I know it was lazy...I know it was everything Arrow is...but why can't I like this...

I know why... It's because I liked Green Arrow when very few did...but again, I'm gonna slip into nostalgia, let me get back to the show...

14. Okay. You know what...I'm not gonna do this to myself. I'm not. I'm gonna go into comicbookmovie rehab and read some old Green Arrow comics. Why? Here's why...
---------


The CW's Oliver Queen is NOT any version of the DC's universe's Oliver Queen. Not even the accursed New 52 version. After reading a couple issues of that I thought there could never be a worse interpretation of Oliver Queen. But this...this is it, folks. Here's my explanation...

Arrow's Oliver Queen is a man with two lives. He has his vigilante persona, and his playboy persona. The show, so far has tried, a lot, to show that within his five year absence he has changed. He has changed into "Arrow." "Arrow" is his new life, and this misogynistic playboy Ollie is merely a routine. Boy...that sounds an awful lot like another character we know...

Oh right, BATMAN.

Ollie is not Bruce Wayne. He's not. Honestly, I don't have the energy or desire to spell out what makes those two men different, but if you love either character, I don't see how you can't see that all the CW has done is copy and paste Bruce Wayne into Oliver Queen and tried to wrap it up in a pretty green bow and say its new and edgy.

Folks...Oliver Queen is Oliver Queen, even with the tights, hood, mask, and bow. Green Arrow is Oliver Queen and Oliver Queen is Green Arrow. Bruce Wayne is BATMAN. There practically isn't even a Bruce Wayne. Bruce Wayne is a mask. A tool. But Oliver Queen is a man who is both man and vigilante. Thats whats fun about him. The fact that he isn't this dark...tortured soul. He's just a guy who is really damned good with a bow and arrow and uses that for good.

Arrow is an abomination...

Prove me wrong.

I wanted to watch this episode. I really did. I made it less than 15 minutes.

Thats a shame
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7 Comments
calin88 - 10/19/2012, 5:25 AM
I red 2 paragraphs, you give way too much importance to this
RobLiefeldFan - 10/19/2012, 7:00 AM
Dude it is a show and the show is actually good I wonder what you expect from an arrow show seriously the show is nice your taking it to important just like @calin88 said dude it is a show not your life
jjk2814 - 10/19/2012, 9:31 AM
I surely did, Yossarian. Butchered it. Got it fixed though, thanks!
jjk2814 - 10/19/2012, 10:30 PM
Believe me, RobLiefeldFan, I know. I added a bit to the title to clarify that I intended this to reflect a lot of humor. Maybe it doesn't seem that way, I understand that.

What I expect from a Green Arrow show is something more than a blatant ripoff of the Nolan Batman movies.
GreenHalJordan - 10/21/2012, 5:09 PM
Im actually a fan of the show and enjoy it a lot. The pilot was ok, but I thought this episode was an improvement. I respect your opinion, but I just don't think you gave this episode a chance if you only watched it for 15 minutes (unless that was sarcastic) I will say i found the humor awesome! Especially the whole: alright, first commercial. Wait a minute....that means....its only been nine minutes!
jjk2814 - 10/22/2012, 1:18 PM
Thanks for the comment, GreenHalJordan.

In all honesty, the section after the picture of Ollie pointing is my only legitimate gripe with the show. But its a big one for me. I just can't look past it.
SAT - 11/11/2012, 6:23 PM
Yeah u know, I'm gonna continue to watch this show. I don't know why, but I am. But I REALLY hate how they r gonna make the sister Speedy. I like Roy Harper I'd LOVE if he were in the show! Heck I'd take Artemis from Young Justice, but not the little sister...

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