TrekFan's Review of Green Lantern
Was Green Lantern as bad as everyone was saying? Warning: Major Spoilers!
By TrekFan - 4/8/2012
Okay, recently Green Lantern was available on HBO on demand. So I watched it to see if it was really that bad.
The beginning started off with aliens on a planet without explanation. The movie just jumped right in without giving you a back story or lead up. But it gets better they stumble apon a Guardian trapped in rock or something who eats there fear and speaks English (even though the aliens don't)then turns into a giant space diarrhea.
Meanwhile on Earth, you're introduced to Hal Jordan, an immature test pilot who wakes up with some random girl. He makes to his job so you can meet dim whitted Carol Ferris. They then fly planes in a stimulation to show how smart unpiloted planes are. The whole flight seamed fake, the suspense was fake, the action was fake, and the animation was horrendous. The planes looked like they where animated in 1992. While all this was happening you saw flashbacks of Hal's father's death. Hal nearly crashes but survives (you still wouldn't care if he did crash and die), and quits his job.
In some place in space. Abin Sur is flying a spaceship to bee attacked by the floating space diarrhea, Paralax, Abin then goes into a smaller ship and flys off. On earth Hal heads of to his nephew's 11th birthday party (the kid however looks 8) a very pointless part. Abin later crashes on earth. Dieing he sends off his ring to find a replacement and whopty do it's none other than Hal Jordan that the ring selects.
Hal is givin the ring with barly any instruction and leaves only to get his nerdy friend and go back for no reason. The two then leave as government forces arive.
Back at Hal's place he tries to get the oath right, he does. Carol stops by to speak with Hal, they go out for drinks in another pointless part. As Hal is heading to his car he gets jumped by three guys only to beat them with one power ring punch.
Hal later is taken to Oa. He is then made buff by some machine, a part that was uneeded. Hal is then trained and meets Sinestro, played by Mark Strong, one of the few good things about this movie. The animated aliens, background and suits looked completely animated.
Paralax is then seen destroying a planet and the Guardians decied to make a fear ring, but not before Hector Hammond does an autotopsy on Abin Sur and comes in contact with the yellow fear ooze.Many forgetable parts later, Hector starts to recive strange powers.
After sometime a celebration is thrown for Carol Ferris, why? No one knows why. You then meet Hector's uneeded dad. After boring talking Hector's father starts to leave in his helicopter, but his son Hector tries to make it crash useing his new found powers. But Hal is there to save the day, by turning the helicopter into a stupid car and making it land threw a series of Hot wheels styled tracks. Completely ridiculos way to save a helicopter, even in the comics that would be the stupidest thing ever. Hal saves Carol, but if he was too late and she died you wouldn't care at all.
And after sometime Hal decieds to be a big showoff and meet Carol as the Green Lantern and tells her everything, completely uncalled for. Menwhile on Oa it is revealed that Paralax is heading twards earth.
Hector's head becomes big then he kills his father (obviously the screenwriters had trouble with there dads, two dead in one movie) but is stoped by the always on time Hal Jordan.
Time passes and now twards the end Hector holds Carol captive creating suspense that fails completely. Hal again stops Hector only to have Hector then killed by Paralax. Paralax then goes onto destroy the earth to be fought by Hal and his cartoony weaponry. Hal then tricks Paralax into burning up into the sun, but wait wasn't Paralax a Guardian? Yes he was but obviously not a bright one. Hal then speeds away to earth.
To sum it up the movie lacked story, charecter development, and music quality, everytime Hal would fly in space stupid rock music would play. You had no feelings twards the charecters and the movie was set up for a sequel that will never happen. Hector was an uncalled for villain who was thrown in to have there be conflict on earth and Paralx was a stupid villian the way he looked and acted.
Overall One out of Five stars.
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