GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY Was Not An Amazing Film, Was Disappointed in Michael Bay Styled Quality & Humor

GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY Was Not An Amazing Film, Was Disappointed in Michael Bay Styled Quality & Humor

This is not pointless nitpicking, a review, or a rant. I recently wasted money saw the film Guardians of The Galaxy and to my surprise it is not the amazing movie people were talking about. Please do click for more on my editorial opinions.


This is not pointless nitpicking, a review, or a rant. I recently wasted money saw the film Guardians of The Galaxy and to my surprise it not the amazing movie people were talking about. It was to start off with very confusing, it was meant for people who have read the comics. There was no intro it just went straight into the characters assuming the audience knows everything about them and forcing in characters with no real purpose. The dialogue was very clunky and felt incoherent, there was too much humor forced in the plot. They tried serious moments but the humor drove it under. The characters were all misplaced and everything went nowhere. 
 
The film was too short and felt like a 30 minute Saturday morning cartoon in terms of structure and length. The villains were absolutely pointless and barely did anything. I did not like Chris Pratt his character is not likeable as most people have claimed. Thanos was entirely a joke and looked funny, Brolin's voice sounded so altered. It could be Josh Brolin's next Jonah Hex character type failure to the audience. This movie was an entire mess hidden under inappropriate Michael Bay humor and as many sexual innuendos you would find in a typical Michael Bay Transformers film along with explosions. This was just Michael Bay Transformers but with slightly better humor but that isn't saying much. 
 
People only like this because it's Marvel and they are willing to overlook Marvel's flaws. Man of Steel as perfect as it was had  minor flaws but DC fans never overlooked them, it seems Marvel fans think everything there master makes is gold. I also find Marvel fans to be more controlled and generic compared to DC fans who have more variety. I am not Marvel or DC fan I love both but hardcore Marvel fans can be stupid and this is an example which is the success of this film.
 
Gamora wasn't a deadly assassin she was used as a total sex object like what Michael Bay would do to his women in films. There was nothing threatening about Gamora, Zoe Saldana should stick to James Cameron mediocre Avatar flicks. Megan Fox could have played Gamora and it would still have been the same character. Rocket was too cartoony and for people saying you can't make talking animals serious go watch Dawn of The Planet of The Apes and feel stupid for saying that. Rocket just didn't have enough bite.
 
Worst of all was Drax who made Tommy Wiseau look like an A list Hollywood actor. His character was like watching paint dry and it didn't help having an actor that can't act. I want to get to the action and where the heck was the action!? Again with another Michael Bay comparison, barely any action or hardcore fights it was all just explosions. Gamora vs Nebula was a pure chick fight with screaming and them just flipping each other over like pancakes. Ronan didn't fight at all, he just had a stupid hammer. Ronan was made to look retarded especially that final scene with Star-Lord dancing in front of him are you serious why didn't you just kill him already!? Good god they made Ronan a joke. Ronan is officially the worst Marvel villain ever, game over Trevor. The aliens in Guardians of The Galaxy looked too human it was ridiculous I didn't buy into their looks it's terrible when aliens from a film like that Ryan Reynolds movie R.I.P.D look more realistic. Overall I rate this movie a 1 and a half out of 5 for effort. Wait for DVD if not seen it yet and don't waste money like I did to see it in theaters or you'll regret it. 
 
I also did not enjoy the music in the film, it should have had less silly 80s stuff that would not relate to most of the audience like myself watching it and more modern music like this for example, 

 
It's that simple, good try Marvel anyways. 
Posted By:
LinkinParkFan
Member Since 8/5/2014
Filed Under "Guardians of the Galaxy" 8/7/2014
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