If you haven't heard yet, some carnival is in trouble for giving out an unauthorized Hulk doll as a prize to some naughty little girl who just happened to look under the purple pants. To her surprise, she saw a green willy! That'll teach her!
Hulk Doll's Impressive Package?
Apparently, he's not known as the incredible Hulk for nothing.
A plush version of the big-screen monster has turned up in London sporting what a British tab has indelicately termed "a giant green willy."
Per the report in London's Sun, a six-year-old tyke won the anatomically blessed toy at a fair--her prize for winning a beanbag toss.
At first, her Hulk appeared innocent enough--he was ripped, green and mean-looking. Upon closer inspection, according to the paper, little Leah Lowland noticed the hero's purple cut-off pants were bulging. In the front.
As they say in Marvel Comics, 'nuff said.
Actually, Lowland's mother has quite a bit to say.
"A hulk with a bulk like this just shouldn't be allowed," the woman I.D.'d only as Kim is quoted as telling the Sun. "Considering the doll is only 12-inches tall, it's amazing how big his willy is."
The paper estimates the length of the toy's, um, action figure at two inches.
As depicted in a pair of photos found on the Sun's Website, the Hulk does not appear to be happy about being exposed. Either that, or he's feeling inadequate about his fast-shrinking box office. (So far, the film has grossed about $118 million in U.S. theaters--still short of production costs. It opens in the United Kingdom on July 18.)
The Lowlands aren't happy, either.
"It sounds funny, but kids should not be exposed to this kind of thing," mother Kim says, according to the Sun. "It should be taken off the shelves."
Ah, but is it on shelves? Has Europe been invaded by hulking Hulk toys?
Unlikely, say stateside toy industry sources.
Experts say there's no way the doll came off the assembly line with a monster member--that the toy must have been enhanced somewhere along the way, perhaps by a fair carnie looking to have fun, or someone looking to get publicity in the paper.
Still, some collectors won't be able to resist giving in to the what-if factor, as in, What if there are more bulked-up Hulks out there?
"I suspect there will be some people checking the shorts of each one," says Julius Marx columnist for Action Figure Times (www.aftimes.com).
Spain's Play-By-Play Toys, which produces Hulk tie-in toys for Europe, and reputedly was the manufacturer of the bulked-up Hulk doll in question, could not be located for comment Wednesday. There have been no known reports of U.S. consumers finding similar surprises.
This is not the first time a tie-in toy has been accused of bad and/or indecent behavior. In 1998, a Kmart shopper in Watertown, New York, claimed a Talking Teletubbie blurted an anti-gay epitaph and called on her to "Bite my butt!"
Marx recalls a certain Star Wars trading card from 1977, known as "the naughty card," in which C3PO "looked like he had a huge, you know, erection as he came out of an oil bath."
This is also not from the first time the British tabs have been accused of running with too-weird-to-be-true stories. The urban legends page on About.com cites a favorite: The Sun story headlined "Man Bonks Frozen Chicken."
Really, 'nuff said.