Nope, I’m not Jacky. Sorry. But I highly respect him. But after realizing the truth, I don’t know what to believe. I will probably get shot down for good for spoiling this. My punishment will be something horrid and unimaginable, but it will be worth it. Like licking the fungus between Gusto’s toes or trying to read a terrible fan script. Anyhow if you enjoy living in a false illusion, DON’T continue reading. You’ve been warned.
We all love CBM.com, right? It gives us all sorts of news, rumors, fan scripts, scoops, funny comments etc. All fun and games, right? I just wish it was that way. Part of why I love this site so much is the multiple personalities and characters there are. But after some very close examination, I uncovered it was a lie. The people.
WHAT?! HOW ARE THE PEOPLE A LIE?!?! NGHAHA!! I hear you asking and screaming. Just let me explain. So let me tell you a story. When good ol’ CBM started out, it was a very small site. Galactus himself needed to expand. So over time, he recruited three users, JoshWilding, RorMachine, and nailbiter111 and DCMarvelFreshman. Now, other users helped to, but these were the MAIN ones. These three users knew they had to do more than post articles. So they created accounts to stir the pot and create controversy and clicks. They had to make a funny guy, a troll, and a user worth noting. Let’s check them out.
Josh, the british guy who likes to “flame on!”. Let’s take a look at HIS list:
Funny Guy: Gusto, of course. Gusto can get MANY responses and clicks with his comments. He is a likable guy. Other than the fact that he doesn’t exist.
Troll: SageMode. He needed to get someone to swear allegiance to a studio and be fiercly honorable. So he created SageMode. A user that would make a 5 page thread a 15+ page thread. A STRONG tool for Josh to get clicks and comments.
User Worth Noting: PsychoManiacJacky. He pretends to present shocking revelations, which he does, but really is just a ruse. Created by a British man.
Ah yes, the other British guy. He also made three accounts, if not more.
Funny Guy: McGee. He’s like a turtle, but more scared. But he is very funny, and is of course, fake.
Troll: Manitinium. Another fierce crusader, but for DC/WB. He will do anything to defend DC, and is exactly what Ror needed. A lie.
User Worth Noting: MrBlackJack. He got a LOT of people talking about his gang, the Dead Rabbits Gang. Admittedly, I was apart if this gang. A lie.
Not enough intel on him personally. I have a STRONG susipion he bites his nails. But I know who he hides behind.
Funny Guy: yossarian. He posts either consist of making fun of Gusto, Green Lantern or Cyclops, or gratuitous pictures of beautiful women. A lie, of course.
Troll: Intruder, now most likely defunct. For the time he was active, this fake black stain was a virus, and was eventually killed off.
User Worth Noting: Pasto. He was so popular that nailbiter had to make a forum just to keep an elaborate ruse up. Just a [frick]ing ruse.
Again, no intel. I have a strong suspicion that he is a huge fan of Marvel and DC, and is a freshman, but I don’t know for sure...
Funny Guy: cipher. We need a drunk british guy who likes to gloat around his advice. A ruse.
Troll: Jollem. A passive agressive troll is always needed, and Jollem fits. Like a glove.
User Worth Noting: staypuffed. The Power Users felt it was key to give users the idea that an ordianary user like staypuffed can become a rising user. But of course, another lie.
Now, with all that out of the way, I haven’t even told you the scariest part. Josh, Ror, nailbiter and Freshman aren’t even real. They’re all created by Galactus himself. Even HE doesn’t know. He subconsciously created all of them, so he wouldn’t feel so lonely.
That’s all I was able to uncover. It might be a lie, might not be. I won’t reveal my sources. But don’t sit there BLINDLY accepting everything that appears to be nothing. Question. Hell, you might be one of Galactus’ alter-egos/multiple personalities. I might be. Well, my whole life is a lie, so it’s not worth living!