Do I really need to give an introduction? You know why you are here. You may say you like your life (and that could be true), but that doesn't mean you don't want a better one. I may not be able to help you gain financial independence or overcome your gambling addiction, but I can teach you how to climb the ranks of ComicBookMovie.Com. Yes, I was once like you. I was a small, little known user user like you. I was known as BlackJack10. I was your normal fan and site regular. I was a bore. Then I found the key to eternal ComicBookMovie happiness. If you want to read my full biography (which has gotten rave reviews from multiple users), then click here!. Here, right now, today, I will tell you the secrets of becoming a power house user like myself. I'm young, handsome, successful, powerful, and am the capo di tutti capi of the Dead Rabbits Gang. You too can be just like me if you follow these few simple steps. Shall we begin?
WARNING: If you are reading this, stop being a goody too-shoes and get outta here...although there is some profanity and strong language featured.
Don't Give a Damn!
I cannot tell you how many times I have said "I don't give a damn!". In fact, it may be my favorite sentence of all time (followed by "Another round on me!"). It is so very important for you to not care about what others think of you. If you got some random shit to say, say it! You think I got where I am by saying "Wow, I really can't wait for this move!"? Hell no! I got here by saying "I once ruined a wedding by thinking the bride's dress was toilet paper!". Don't believe me? Click here to see the comment. Don't be afraid to speak your mind! Whether it's saying something looks epic, looks like shit, or whether you're insulting Gusto, just spew that shit!
Don't Choose Sides
This one is easy. "Make Mine Marvel", "Make Mine DC", "Suck it Fox!", and many of the other phrases are stupid. People who utter those phrases have no balls, and to get where I am you need balls. As you can see, I have balls of steel. Point is, don't limit yourself to one side, you sound like a moron and come off as an asshole (but not the good kind like me).
Continuing off the last point, don't limit yourself when it comes to anything. Look at me, do I look constrained? Hell no! If I wanna cuss, I cuss! If I want to speak gibberish, I sprekenzie gibberish! Take a gander at Jacky, he writes beautiful pieces of art that some consider crazy. Do what makes you happy! It shouldn't be and isn't any more complicated than that.
Always Back Your Bros!
A true man backs his bros no matter the fight. If you see a bro to your left fighting a troll, get in there and call that troll vile names! Not only will it earn you respect between your fellow bros and ComicBookMovie members, but is a hell of a lotta fun too! During my early days on this site I fought my fair share of trolls, and in doing so I made plenty of allies. JamesMan, BatManiac, MrSid, MrSotoman, BatManHeisenberg, and DrunkenPirateNukem are all users I fought with and now we are brothers (most of which are in the Dead Rabbits Gang).
Care About Your Appearance
This one should be an obvious one as well. Think about the shit you say before you post your comment. Some of you guys create new levels of stupid each day. Along with that, when making an article make sure you make them look visually appealing like this one. It draws attention to your article and makes others more likely to comment. Also, get an avatar. Without it you guys are naked. And trust me, I don't need to actually see you guys naked to know it's not a pretty sight.
As I mentioned earlier, I have balls of steel. How many articles have you seen like this before? That's right, none. This goes hand and hand with speaking your mind. Make a logical statement and back it up. If you aren't confident with what you are saying, how are you going to be writing articles like this? Hell, how do you get through everyday life.
Develop a Sense of Humor
As you can tell, I'm a pretty funny guy. You need a good sense of humor to break through the comments section and become noticeable, especially with people like Cipher and Gusto hanging around. Plus, a few of you guys are some uptight...er...people (to put it nicely). Don't be a buzz kill, and relax for a second.
Join the Dead Rabbits Gang
The Dead Rabbits Gang is a nonprofit ComicBookMovie organization. For now, it is highly exclusive club that is still in development. However, in the VERY near future a fan fic will be released with at least twice as much profanity as well as twice as many ComicBookMovie community cameos. The current members of the gang are BatManHeisenberg, Batmaniac, TheYoungMan, MrSid, JamesMan, MrSotoMan, & myself, MrBlackJack. More details will emerge as when the time is right.
So...Will All This Work?
Most likely not. Why? Because you're not me. But at least I gave you the information needed, and there will be a select few of you who will correctly use this advice and break through. To those who do, congratulations. To those who don't, at least you tried. And to those who can't tell, my goal was trying to sound like a pompous dick, but that's how I got to the top! Right now you have one job, and that job is to hit the thumbs up and let's get this on the main!
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