One-Line-Review of Every Superhero Film Seen
If you could describe every Superhero film you've ever seen in one line, how'd you do it? Here's my list.
So, here I was on a relatively uneventful day with my friends. Lazing about with nothing to do, nor any energy to come up with something interesting. So we just sort of skimmed from one topic of discussion to the next, and eventually one stuck. Describing every superhero film we'd ever seen in one line. It was kind of fun and interesting. So I thought, well, why not expand this discussion to CBM.com?
I'll go first:
(For reference I used the film listed here:
in addition to the two Judge Dredd films, and not counting things like TMNT or The Crow)
Haven't seen anything from the Early days. Pretty much anything before Chris Reeves' Superman.
The First Era
These I believe are the early days of Superhero films. When they were usually just considered a gimmick. Many considered it'd be a fad that will pass away with time. And as such, most films of this era didn't even seem to have the best of efforts put into them. Superman's success kickstarted it.
[Note: I don't hate the Superman films (not the first two at least), I just got into Superman late, and saw these movies relatively recently. They were a tad different than the Superman I was expecting, so that's why. If you love the films I hate, or hate the films I love, no prob. I won't argue. It's just my opinions here. I don't claim 'em to be facts.]
Superman - Quite forgettable
Superman 2 - Decent effort for the time
Superman 3 - Unfit to be considered a Superman movie
Supergirl - Unfit to be considered a movie
Howard the Duck - What in the [frick]?
Superman 4 - Dumb propaganda nonsense
Batman - Badass film
Captain America - Laughable
Batman Returns - Atmospheric in a creepy but good way
The Fantastic Four (1994, caught it online) - So bad, I'm not surprised they never released it
Batman Forever - So bad, I barely made it through
Tank Girl - So bad, I couldn't make it through
Judge Dredd - So bad, It's almost funny
Batman & Robin - So bad, It's not even funny
Steel - Faith in humanity lost
Blade - Faith in humanity restored
X-Men - Meh...
Blade II - Thoroughly enjoyable
The Second Era
Batman had been good, but eventually dwindled into comedic nonsense. X-Men and Blade started to bring some respect back to the genre (I wasn't a big fan of the X-Men film, but it was a much more respectable film than most before it). But it wasn't until Spider-Man's massive success (which inflation adjusted is a Billion Dollar Gross today) that people began to see Superhero films as more than just a gimmick, and instead its own Blockbuster genre. We started to see more and more respectable films but there were still cash-grabber ones which thought they could replicate Spider-Man's success without much effort. So this era was kind of a mixed bag.
Spider-Man - Loved it at the time
Daredevil - Underrated
X2 - Decent
Hulk - Decent effort but ultimately kinda boring
The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen - Bad
Hellboy - Good film
The Punisher (2004) - Doesn't do justice to Punisher
Spider-Man 2 - Love it even today
Catwoman - Halle Berry's ass is nice
Blade Trinity - Cluster[frick]
Elektra - Sucks
Batman Begins - Finally some respect for the character again
Fantastic Four - What've they done to Doctor Doom?!
X-Men The Last Stand - Annoying treatment of most characters
Superman Returns - Epic disappointment
Ghost Rider - Ludicrous
Spider-Man 3 - Hated it at the time
Fantastic Four: Rise of Silver Surfer - The castration of my favorite characters continues
Iron Man - Excellent
Incredible Hulk - Ok
Hancock - Not as bad as people say it is
Hellboy 2 - Good film
The Third Era
As we started to see a proliferation in Superhero films, the next era of Superhero films came much quicker. The Dark Knight proved that you can make very respectable films with Superheroes, critically and commercially. After this film succeeded we started to see more films which treated the source material with some form of respect as opposed to the constant tongue-in-cheek we-know-this-is-stupid-but-please-bear-with-us attitude that many films had before this. We started to eventually see more GOOD superhero films come out each year. Such as this year where we had: Avengers, TDKR, TASM, and Dredd which were all great films. Of course, there'll always be the odd Ghost Rider 2, because we will always have those who think they can replicate success with minimal efforts.
The Dark Knight - Legendary
Watchmen - Enjoyed it
X-Men Origins: Wolverine - A bit of a mess
Kick-Ass - Fun
Iron Man 2 - Pretty good
Thor - Enjoyable
X-Men First Class - Finally a GOOD X-Men film
Green Lantern - shit movie
Captain America: The First Avengers: Loved it
Ghost Rider 2 - Uber shit
The Fourth Era
The direction triggered by The Dark Knight towards more respectful superhero films lead us to 2012 where we had FOUR awesome superhero films. But there was one film among these which has undeniably begun a brand new era. This new era, I believe will be one of Superhero dominance at the box-office. And the film which has brought it on is: The Avengers. We can already see that there are more and more and more and more superhero films getting greenlighted every day, each with subject material more untested than the other (while this can be a bad thing, I like to see it as a chance to finally see beyond just the A-listers, and higher B-Listers). Each of these films proclaims to be HONEST to the source material, like the Avengers, and one that promises to feature more character and personality. While, the films so far are remnants of the Third Era, their collective success (critical and/or commercial) has also played a part in the beginning of the Fourth Era, so I'll just count them here as the firsts.
The Avengers - Best SUPERHERO film ever
The Amazing Spider-Man - Absolutely love the new direction
The Dark Knight Rises - A little disappointing but in its own right, still a good film
Dredd - Surprisingly awesome
So here's my list. I wrote this whole thing kind of in the spur of the moment, and might've gone a tad bit off on a tangent with the 'Eras'. But I suppose it still relates to the collective qualities of the films in each 'Era' that I described, and goes a little bit into the 'why' as opposed to just the 'what'.
Anyways, what's your thoughts? Agreed? Disagreed? Your own One-Line Reviews?
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