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The DVD Autopsy: GETAWAY
Hope your TV is outfitted with an airbag. Crashing onto disc is one of the worst films last year, an endless car chase in a hilariously inept thriller. A race car driver is forced to speed around a European town by an unseen voice, leading to carnage and mindless plot twists, all while Selena Gomez tries to act brilliant. A pit crew wouldn't get this to run correctly.
MartiniShark
Jan 15, 2014 12:01 AM
Other
The Worst Movies of 2013
Many have called 2013 a great year for great films. Truth be told it was also so filled with bad selections that not only could they be listed but categorized. This wealth of worthless titles was a joy for those who savor poor cinema so please, share in my joy.
MartiniShark
Jan 10, 2014 10:01 AM
Horror
The DVD Autopsy: Exhumed -- SILENT NIGHT
In looking to find a holiday-themed corpse for video dissection there was an abject lack of titles released this year. So, I had to unearth a release from the last Noel. A homicidal Santa in a yuletide slasher? That makes the cut; Bonus points for a flamethrower on the cover art!
MartiniShark
Dec 19, 2013 12:12 AM
R.I.P.D.
The DVD Autopsy: R.I.P.D.
This was probably the worst release of summer. A dozen years in development, and a $130 million budget, led to only a few weeks in theaters and a miserable B.O. return. I carve into this disc to look for signs of death.
MartiniShark
Dec 12, 2013 03:12 PM
Other
The DVD Autopsy -- THE BLACKOUT
Making your own version of THE HANGOVER!? Sure, stealing that premise might be a shortcut to video success but understand, when you match that series beat-for-beat you are just begging to be compared. Especially when the film is incompetently written, directed, and poorly acted, that comparison will leave you worse than hung over.
MartiniShark
Oct 01, 2013 12:10 PM
Other
The Bombs of Summer - 2013
With the wild summer season drawn closed it is time to assess the results, or in my case, the damage. There was victory, carnage, and quite a bit of shoulder shrugging as everyone tried to make sense of it all.
MartiniShark
Sep 03, 2013 07:09 PM
Action
Trying to Fathom the Popularity of SHARKNADO
Why is it that an asinine shark movie on a cable network has captured the nation's attention? A look into why schools of fans are enamored with an unnatural disaster.
MartiniShark
Aug 08, 2013 11:08 AM
Action
The DVD Autopsy: ERASED
Aaron Eckhart mimics Jason Bourne as he races around Belgium while trying to reconnect with his estranged daughter. The fact that her life becomes endangered numerous times at his own hand redefines the meaning of his being "dangerous".
MartiniShark
Jul 23, 2013 09:07 AM
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