6 Of The Dumbest Comic Book Battles Between BATMAN And SUPERMAN

6 Of The Dumbest Comic Book Battles Between BATMAN And SUPERMAN

Whatever other faults it may have had, Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice delivered a great fight between its two titular heroes. However, the comic books haven't always handled those quite as well...

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Say what you will about Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice, but you have to admit that the fight between the Caped Crusader and Man of Steel was pretty damn cool. That's hardly a surprise when Zack Snyder was essentially adapting the battle from The Dark Knight Returns, while there are plenty of other examples from the source material of these two iconic heroes going to war with each other.

Alas, not all of them are as epic and action-packed as others; some are just downright embarrassing and ridiculous. That's to be expected when these two have been fighting for decades though!

What you'll find here then is a look at the six dumbest comic book confrontations between Batman and Superman. While at least a couple involve mind control, there's still no excuse for how daft many of these are, so expect to both laugh and cringe as you take a look through these peculiar fights.


6. Bruce Wayne, Blanket Hog

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Most of the fights between Batman and Superman are pretty epic affairs, but in a tale which took place before these two heroes learned each other's secret identities, Clark Kent and Bruce Wayne very nearly came to blows over the most ridiculous of reasons. Forced to share a cabin aboard an overbooked cruise ship, the two heroes ended up battling for the blankets of the bed they shared, a fight which the Dark Knight emerged victorious from.

Why exactly a billionaire would be forced to shack up with a reporter (who sleeps with his glasses on apparently) is hard to say, but the whole thing was pretty odd. Could they not have asked room service for another blanket? Why didn't one of them sleep on the floor? Those are questions which will never be answered, but given the look of disdain between these two here, it's a miracle they ever became pals.

5. Batman = The Hulk?

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This clash between the two heroes may have featured some awesome artwork courtesy of David Finch, but the circumstances behind the Dark Knight being able to beat up the Man of Steel were more than a little silly. Infected by a unique new fear toxin concocted by the Scarecrow, Batman quite literally Hulked out and ended up knocking seven bells into Superman before he managed to regain control of this battle.

It was then that Superman managed to take down his friend by quite literally beating the toxin out of his system. While it was fun seeing Batman put on something of an even keel with his fellow member of the Justice League, it didn't play out in anywhere near as epic a fashion as it probably should have. In fact, the whole thing just felt like it was done as a pretty weak excuse to give these two one of their first fights in The New 52 continuity. 


4. Superman Goes Primitive

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Superman is damn near invincible, but magic is one of his greatest weaknesses, hence why he fell under the spell of a primitive Incan tribe. After searching South America for a crook who had gone on the run, the Man of Steel was left with no memory of his past life after flying a little too close to a mystical volcano. When Batman and Robin finally tracked him down, Superman had taken charge of the Incans, and that criminal had becomes his top adviser!

He understandably talked his new king into having the Dynamic Duo killed, but they fled the scene, painted a picture of Clark Kent, and used that to restore his memory. Wait, what? Yes, that's really how this baffling showdown played out, but after realising they couldn't overpower Superman, why wouldn't Batman show off his painting skills to save the day? Oh yeah, because it makes no sense!

 

3. Superman Tries To Burn Batman At The Stake

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For some reason, time travel became a staple of many of Batman and Superman's earliest adventures, and upon travelling back to a certain time and place, they'd inevitably be manipulated into fighting each other. In the 18th Century, the Caped Crusader was possessed by an evil entity who the Man of Steel decided to deal with by threatening to burn Batman at the stake.

Framing the hero for witchcraft in order to have him tied to a stake and dealt with by the villagers, things backfired when the demon then took control of Superman instead. Luckily, Batman had a much simpler way of dealing with that; he threw a Kryptonite pebble (which just so happened to be in his utility belt) at Clark's head. Epic stuff, eh? You know, with these two idiots running rampant through history, it's no wonder the DC Universe's timeline is such a mess...

 

2. Batman/Superman

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Ok, so here's where things get really weird. This story didn't feature a fight between Batman and Superman as such, but they did team up to take on themselves in the form of a "Composite Superman" who was literally half Man of Steel and half Dark Knight. While he had initially been introduced as a comedy character of sorts, Batman/Superman was soon pitted against the heroes, and The Caped Crusader thought up a particularly f***ed up way to take him down when he proved to be more than a match for the two heroes.

He basically talked the Composite Superman into committing suicide in order to no longer have to suffer from having dualling personalities battling for control inside his head. In fact, Batman got the poor guy to tear himself in half! Would he do the same to Clark given the chance? Who knows, but this whole thing was just dumb as hell. 

 

1. Dumb Superman Vs. Genius Batman

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We've already established the fact that many of Batman and Superman's earliest battles were weird as hell, but this one is easily the most peculiar. A typically camp set of circumstances led to the Dark Knight using a device to make himself a literal egghead while reducing the Man of Steel to being a neanderthal.

Too clever for the present, Batman used his newfound super intelligence to travel into the future to hang out with those just as smart as he was, but Superman would follow and a fight would ensue which culminated in them obviously being returned to normal. Still, little was said about Bruce's decision to make his fellow Justice League member mentally impaired (or why being that way led to Superman suddenly growing a beard), but the whole thing was so daft that trying to make sense of it all really is impossible. 


Which of these battles between Batman and Superman do you think was the dumbest? Have we missed any other good examples? As always, share your thoughts in the comments section below. 

 
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