First Review For Conan The Barbarian Hits

First Review For <i>Conan The Barbarian</i> Hits

The Playlist have just posted their review for Marcus Nispel's remake that screened at Empire's Big Screen earlier today. What did they think? Click to find out..

They hated it is the short version. I wasn't too enthusiastic myself after the trailers and the fact that it was directed by the man that inflicted Pathfinder on us but apparently it's even worse than anticipated. Here are some excerpts from the Playlist's review..

..Let’s start with Momoa. We’d had some hope after his turn on “Game of Thrones” that the actor might at least stand out in the film, forgetting that he only spoke half-a-dozen words of English across ten episodes. He’s fine at the sword-slinging, but delivery of dialogue? Not so much. And the rest of the cast aren’t much better: Lang is on sneering villainous autopilot, reprising his “Avatar” turn with an unplaceable accent, while Rachel Nichols fails to give any personality to what is, in fairness, a role that’s not so much underwritten as never-written. Worst of all is Rose McGowan, made up to look like a cross between Christina Ricci and an IMAX screen, and horrendously overplaying her part as Lang’s sorceress daughter...

..The director doesn’t bring any of his music video chops here: it’s thoroughly workmanlike stuff, and could have been made by anyone—at least the original came from the barking mad John Milius, making it feel something close to a passion project, rather than the paycheck gig this so obviously is for Nispel. The worst of it is how much he steals from other movies, and not even classics, but blockbusters from the last decade. The prologue, filling in back story, about a magical object being broken into many pieces and scattered around the world? “The Lord of the Rings” trilogy (films that Nispel presumably loves, as he lifts from it multiple times). A mentor/mentee training fight on an icy lake? “Batman Begins.” Fighting formless sand creatures? “Spider-Man 3.” Yes, this is a film that rips off “Spider-Man 3.” The fact that Nispel chose Morgan Freeman, of all people, to narrate is a good demonstration of the lack of imagination on hand.

There are been plenty of bad movies this year, but at least you feel that people were trying for, say, “Battle: Los Angeles” or “Sucker Punch,” they didn’t actually set out to make a bad movie. “Conan The Barbarian” just comes across as half-assed; a quick, cheap, cash-grab with nothing but contempt for its audience, something that would look shoddy even if it were the direct-to-DVD movie it so often resembles. And you should stay away from it like it was horde of bandits coming to burn down your village.

They also say that the action and gore are sub standard and the 3D conversion the worst they have ever seen. Basically they slate every single aspect of the movie aside from expressing some praise for the opening scenes. Now this is just one opinion, and The Playlist can be pretty harsh on movies I find, but it's not looking good Conan fans. Maybe another reboot in 2 years with Uwe Boll at the helm?

For the full review click the link below.


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