Hey, folks. So, I've decided to start a new feature called Fake News which is sort of like The Onion of CBM. I'd also like to open up the fun to you guys! If you have any fake comic news you'd like to see appear as a fake headline, throw it over to me in an email with your CBM username so I can give you credit! And now, the next issue of Fake News!
Joker Commits Heist Every Time Bruce Wayne Hosts a Party or Fundraiser, "Just to Screw With Him"
By Lois Lane
In an effort to make things as difficult as possible, notorious villain, the Joker, announced Saturday that he holds up or robs a bank every time Bruce Wayne hosts a party in the billionaire's home at Wayne Manor. "Just kind of wanting to see what he'll do, you know?" the super villain chuckled in his straightjacket. "So far, things have been pretty successful. He hasn't had a birthday party in the past two years. I'm going for the hat trick."
"My favorite part is when all the guests show up to Bruce's house when he's busy all night. They feel stood up and the girls don't call him back. It's hilarious. I'm actually pretty amazed no one has put two-and-two together yet, but what are you gonna do?" The Joker wouldn't reveal where his next heist would be, but he did have this to say: "I realize that it is Bruce's birthday, and that's why this robbery is going to be very, very special. When he shows up, there's going to be balloons, cake, and hostages. I'm working out the kinks to get a live crocodile put in the lobby, so I'll keep you updated on that front. I can promise a lot of brains smeared all over the counters, because I know he's a big fan of knowing how unpredictable I am, and brain smearing is something I don't think I've done since the 80s. I've got high hopes."
Bruce Wayne turns 37 for the sixty-eighth consecutive time later this week.
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Flash and Superman Race; Sends Earth's Rotation into Deadly, Homicidal *itchmother and Destroys All Life As We Know It
Batman Devises New Plan to Break Up Superman and Wonder Woman if Ever Their Relationship Should Turn Evil
MARVEL decides to Kill Off Ms. Marvel in Upcoming Run by Having Her Date Daredevil
Judge Dredd Meets Time-Traveling Ancestor Magistrate Dredd
Robin Having Trouble Dealing With All the Pressure of The Dark Knight Rises' Ending; Plans to Retire by Faking His Own Death and Hoping People Actually Give a *hit