Nova's Funhouse: What's Up G-g-ghost? Like Zoinks, Pinky, Cowabunga, Dude!
Bet you thought these were over! Far from it, friends! I'm taking a break from my Silver Surfer scripts to have a bit of a chuckle with a new Funhouse. You've probably guessed the theme of this particular one just from the title. Hit the jump to confirm your suspicions!
If you read Nova's Funhouse: The Four Metallic Arms, you'll know I killed off the Brain. But then I thought, what the heck, he's a cartoon, right, he gets squished by people all the time. So, there's no continuity errors here. Just me taking creative liberties. Anyway, the show, as they say in the theatre, must go on! You'll probably question my sanity to a further extent after reading this... not like you don't already think I'm bonkers! Haha, biscuit, hedgehog!
Pinky and The Brain are sitting in their cage wondering what to do. Pinky looks up for a moment and snaps his fingers.
PINKY: I got it, Brain! I know what we can do tonight!
BRAIN: Oh, please enthral me with your benevolently well thought out plan to put an end to our boredom. Is it death? I'd quite like that, I think.
PINKY: Nope! Guess again!
BRAIN: *sigh* I wasn't guessing, Pinky, you imbecile! I was being sarcastic!
Pinky looks Brain up and down, a puzzled look on his face.
PINKY: Well, you don't look like a fish!
Brain slaps his hand to his face, dragging it down and pulling his eyelids down too.
BRAIN: Sarcastic, Pinky, has nothing to do with sardines... wait...Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering?
PINKY: I think so, Brain! We're goin' fishin', aren't we!
BRAIN: No, you moron, we're going to do the same thing we do every night... try to take over the wor--
The door of the lab opens and a slew of men walk in, all carrying cages of various sizes. Each cage is covered by a cloth. Pinky and Brain stare as the men set the cages down opposite their cage. The men leave as soon as all the cages have been put down.
PINKY: Uh, whatta you suppose is in them cages, Brain?
BRAIN: Perhaps they've finally accepted me as their ruler! I knew this day would come, despite recent setbacks... (there are you happy?)
The cloth on the cage closest to their's moves slightly and a groan comes from within. The mice jump back, startled. A yawn follows and then the mysterious entity speaks...
BUGGS: Eh, what gives? I ain't got time ta be in a cage, I got a book signin' ta get to!
BRAIN: Good lord, Pinky, whatever these things are, they can speak!
BUGGS: Who said that? Lemme outta dis ting!
PINKY: Brain, I'm scared!
He bites on Brain's fingernails.
BRAIN: Get off me, birdbrain!
BUGGS: You guys don't sound too happy out dare... fer the love o' Granny, lemme out already!
Brain hesitantly picks up his lockpicking device. He marches over to his cage door, uses the device to unlock it, then makes his way over to Buggs's cage. He removes the cloth to reveal Bugs sat eating a carrot and reading War And Peace.
BUGGS: Nyaaah, what's up, Doc? *munch, munch, munch*
BRAIN: He's just a rabbit, Pinky, nothing to worry about.
BUGGS: Hold on dare, I ain't no awdinary rabbit! I'm Buggs Bunny! Da Looney Tune!
BRAIN: I'm sorry, Buggs, but I've never heard of you.
BUGGS: Hawdly surprisin', I bet you ain't never left dat cage.
BRAIN: I have... it never ends well though.
A noise comes from the cage beside Buggs's. It's a soft wimpering and what sounds like a word.
SCOOBY-DOO: *wimper* Raggy?
BUGGS: Hey, dats da dawg guy, from da Mystery Inc.! Y'know da ones who nab janitors fer tryin' ta scare people outta business?
SCOOBY-DOO: Roo red dat!
BUGGS: Scoob, dis is Buggs Bunny, tawkin'! Y'okay pal?
SCOOBY-DOO: Reah, rI guess... rare am rI?
BRAIN: A lab, I don't know why you're here, but I don't want you on my turf. So, scram!
He uses the lockpicking device to pick Buggs's lock. Buggs jumps out and stretches.
BUGGS: I wondah if day got any udder looney toons? Uh, any udder toons in here?
There's no response. However one of the covers on the cages gains a slightly rectangular shape to a small section of it.
BUGGS: Wile-e, dat you?
The rectangle appears again.
BUGGS: I'm comin' ol' buddy, ol' pal!
BRAIN: Are you deaf?! I said scram!
SCOOBY-DOO: Ruh, ran I ret out rease?
Brain takes the cover off of Scooby's cage. Scooby sits up and lets his tongue hang from his mouth. Brain picks the lock. removes the cover on the final and largest cage. A humanoid turtle sits cross-legged inside.
MICHAELANGELO: Whoa, tough night, I don't even remember buyin' a mouse.
BRAIN: You didn't buy me, and I'm not currently for sale. Though there is a lovely property for sale down the street, I think you should all head down there. Give me and my dear friend, Pinky, some much needed peace an quiet.
MICHAELANGELO: Sorry dude, I broke Donnie's iPad, I ain't goin' home for at least three weeks.
BRAIN: You could squat in the house down the str--
BUGGS: Eh, foybawl! Come use dat dingamajig ta open dis lock!
Brain marches over to the cage quite furiously. He uses his device and turns around. He climbs up onto a worktable.
BRAIN: Listen to me, all of you! I, nor Pinky want you here! Right Pinky?
PINKY: Actually I thi--
BRAIN: You see, he's distraught with all the unnecessary commotion! Pinky and I will escort you down to the vacant house and then we can all just get on with our lives. Deal?
SCOOBY-DOO: Rill rare re Rooby Racks?
BRAIN: If it'll get you out of here, yes, there will be smegging Scooby snacks.
BUGGS: Awright, gang, let's do what da mouse says, dese two clearly wanna be alone.
MICHAELANGELO: Haw, zing!
The unlikely gang depart from the lab and make their way to the house down the street. It's night time, the street lights are dim and the streets themselves are bare. Brain marches the group up to the door of a typical New York townhouse and uses his device to pick the lock. The group gather inside the corridor and Buggs shuts the door behind him.
BRAIN: Take a look around I'm sure you'll find somewhere to... do what you people do.
MICHAELANGELO: Is there an oven?
BRAIN: Why don't you go and check?!
MICHAELANGELO: Nah, I'll just order pizza. You guys want anchovies?
PINKY: Most definitely!
BRAIN: Quiet, Pinky!
Michaelangelo searches around the house for a phone. He discovers one in a bedroom and dials up the pizza place.
MICHAELANGELO: Hey, I'd like to order fifteen extra large pizzas, seven with anchovies and the rest with everything on 'em... ahuh... really? Well, if it's a bargain deal, sure, throw in ten boxes o' garlic bread... by the way, if you take more than thirty minutes from now until the time it's delivered, it's free, right?... just deliver it to the animal testing lab... Manhattan... oh, so because the order's too big 'n' you gotta drive too far you're not risin' to the challenge?!... what?... well, same to you pal!
He slams the phone down.
MICHAELANGELO: Damned squeaky-voiced teen.
As the others await the arrival of their pizza, passing the time by plaing games rather loudly, they don't hear the doorbell ring. The pizza man stands outside the door with a tower of pizza boxes. He knocks and rings the doorbell. He checks his watch, he's been waiting long enough. As he turns to leave the door opens.
PIZZA GUY: Finally, here's yer pizzas, AH! A G-G-G-GHOOOOOOOOOST!
Casper stands smiling in the doorway. The pizza guy scarpers across the fllor and darts back to his car, looking back and screaming as he does so.
CASPER: Thanks for the free pizzas! Too bad I can't lift 'em.
Buggs Bunny appears at Casper's side, carrot in hand.
BUGGS: What's up, Doc? Oh, hey, da pizzas, great! How much do I owe ya?
CASPER: I didn't deliver them, I live here!
BUGGS: Come again, I'm a little deaf in my ears.
CASPER: I live here. Always have for the past few years.
BUGGS: Well, come in, pawtake in da festivities, as it woy!
Buggs hauls the pizzas inside and shuts the door.
TO BE CONTINUED!
Anyways, I hope you enjoyed that, and if you didn't, I found reading it and imagining the music that'd be playing at certain points helps. Basically, just imagine it's actually a cartoon! Well, in the words of Porky Pig... ah, who am I kiddin', nobody can say it any better!
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