Plot Summary:
Paul Blart, Mall Cop, a tragic Detroit police officer, gets his ass whooped by Gusto and almost dies from a hernia. Well, now, he’s a robot. No, scratch that. He’s half robot, HALF MACHINE. His balls itch in his suit, and now he wants revenge!
After a few twist and turns or whatever, he will be entangled in a conspiracy so large The Queen of England and William Shakespeare are involved in this giant spider’s web of conspiracy! Like seriously, this shit gets all over your [frick]ing clothes. Jeez.
As he tries to get all that spider shit off his cool new sleek suit, he has to face his past, when he was hot and had nice boobs. Like seriously, it’s almost like he had a sex change. Some weird shit right there.
But anyways, once RoboCop finds the truth, nothing will get in his way, except another hernia. That shit hurts. His son becomes RoboCop or some shit like that, after his dad dies, spoiler. Its weird to, because Paul's last name is Blart, but the rest of his familie's last name is Murphy. Clara probably went around the tracks for a while. Oh, and Detroit is covered in ice or some shit like that, and they wear ice skates to roam around. [frick] yeah. And all the lines are sung, like better than Les Miserables status right here.
Bay proved he can handle two 80’s franchise’s, why not a third? Bay will make this film great with a top-notch script and a star studded, talented cast. He has best film and best director Oscars in the bag for this one.
I was truly disappointed to hear M.Night Shyamalan’s After Earth didn’t get nominated for best film. Nevertheless, he will make up for that by con-writing this film. Shia LaBeouf is also a great creative and most definitely original writer that should help progress the film. His acting is as good as his own words, just a pure breathless take short of genius.
As the film should be character driven we should learn more about our hero, Paul Blart’s own past. Who was this character at a younger age? To play this part we chose Katy Perry. Her music and voice will compel and shape the character as we know today.
His phenomenal work in the Paul Blart: Mall Cop franchise proves his gravitas and respect for the character. This movie will be a continuation of that highly esteemed production. Just imagine him saying “Dead or alive, you’re coming with me.”. He will nail that line, and he will nail this role.
Fantastic actor, his amazing films in the 1970’s can prove as much as the weight of his own great sack of talent. Gary Oldman is great and all, but why not go more elite for this role. Ron Jeremy will definitely win the Oscar for this film.
Beautiful, talented very hot. those saggy, dry thighs would rock that CEO chair. She has the emotional depth that makes her better than any actor. She truly will look sexier michael keaton as she is very extremely sexy.
Have you seen his music videos? That man knows how to act, and will outclass Samuel L. Jackson. Hell, his kid’s name is North West, so you know he knows his geography. Plus he goes around Kim Kardashian’s tracks, so he’s doing something right.
Steve is a great quirky actor, and I think that james needs a actor that can look great in a tu-tu dress. Steve will play an integral part in making Clara a lovable, sweet wife to Kevin James’s absolute manly manliness. Steve will make Clara what this film needs.
A son needs to look like his father. Lloyd is james’ carbon coby. Lloyd can bring Michael J. Fox as his stunt double, for the action scenes he trains in.
Judah Nelson who played that awesome kid in Anchorman 2 is our choice to play an older version of David Murphy who will live to carry on his father’s legacy as the second Robocop.
Stan Lee has served as a great inspiration to comic books as we know it today, since Robocop was part of Marvel Comics it makes sense for the greatest inspiration, Stan Lee to make an appearance. Which is why I chose Nicolas Cage, his power and his likeness could bring the character to life. The real Stan Lee would be proud to have an actor as Cage himself to play him in a stellar star studded project as this.
He is the guy that trains Robocop to be Robocop and I chose a guy who happens to be one of the greatest actors of all time to train this character properly. He has to be fast moving, fast techniques, and a fast sharp edge in combat. Carl Reiner has it all as he is in the prime of his career than any actor can be.
The mayor of Detroit City, who better to play the mayor than a real life mayor who has excellently served his own city and helped his own greater community. Having someone like Ford will make this film truly shine.
Shakespeare has crafted today what is known as modern writing in form and he should make an appearance in the film as his own form has crafted part of Robocop as we know it today. To play him, The Rock, who has also crafted what is known as driven acting today and true dedication.
An important person in history that should be essential to the Robocop story, the Queen played by Matt Damon would be a character driven by desire to rule among the world and to rule among the citizens Detroit.
Alex Murphy’s own partner in crime is Jack Lewis and this time Jack Lewis is more awesome! Elle Fanning could totally carry the role on her own in what is to be an amazing performance!
Gusto is a lifelong lover of this crappy city. So who better to play him then Gusto himself, you ask? Well, Adam Sandler of course! Gusto is going to be the villain of this film, and Adam will give a new edge to Gusto. He proved his worth in many films, though his highest, most esteemed production is Jack and Jill. He proved he can nail two different characters, so he will prove he can nail this creepy perverted lover of detroit.
Cipher is a drunk Irish guy with some great insights on life. So who better to play him then Andy Samberg. Great actor, he is truly a high quality, high caliber actor that would make this film great. Cipher will see this film bring his personality to life on the silver screen.
William knows how to act. He will breathe life into his character, and his speech pattern will make Nomis a tragic, heartwarming character. More than anything, Nomis will give his seal of approval for William, because he will see his life chronicled so well on the big screen.
Doctor Doom, our site regular and ruler of Latveria, is a complicated one. We decided to revamp doom’s mythology into a girl with daddy issues, and Lavatera is now a Hilton resort. These accommodations will make Paris Hilton shine and the most talked about part in this film. She will star alongside Kevin James, and obviously they will make out. DrDoom will be proud of the new direction we are taking the character. It will be a absolute tremendous role.
Thank you all for reading this next Oscar sweeping film. Obvious thanks to Jacky, and see ya next time!