Don’t let it be said that I’m jumping on the “Spider-Man Reboot Fan-Cast” bandwagon, because I’m not. If any of you recall, a few months ago I did a series of plots for a six-part film reboot franchise involving your Friendly Neighborhood You-Know-Who. So, take your assumptions and shove ‘em. I’m simply getting around to tying up loose ends, because we all know that a film plot isn’t much without a cast to go with it. So, behold what I’ve done and try not to pass too harsh of judgment on me.
Peter Parker/Spider-Man- Chris Massoglia
I’ve never actually seen the guy act, but as far as looks go, the guy fits the part.
Aunt May Parker- Susan Sarandon
I’ve never understood why Aunt May has always been portrayed as being so damn old. Is she Peter’s great aunt? I’d like to think not. So, I chose someone a little younger for Aunt May’s role (at least someone that looks younger). Sarandon can play the sweet, motherly type and she is a great actress.
Uncle Ben Parker- Christopher Malcolm
Never seen him act, but he looks the part and he’s the same age as Sarandon. I take that back. He’s the dude from Empire that found Luke and Han on Hoth.
J. Jonah Jameson- Tom Hanks
Honestly, this is the hardest person to re-cast out of all of the characters from Spider-Man. J.K. Simmons did such a wonderful job that it’s unthinkable to replace him. Hanks may not be everyone’s first choice, but anyone can be made to look any part with hair coloring and makeup (Simmons was bald). Hanks can bring the rage (watch A League of Their Own if you disagree). Hanks can play the part humorously and bring more of a role model figure to the character.
Joe “Robbie” Robertson- Ernie Hudson
Frankly, Raimi didn’t exactly seem to shop around when it came to Robbie. Robbie should be able to play humor and act as mentor to Peter Parker. Robbie’s role was never necessary in Raimi’s films, but Robbie is to act as the yin to Jonah’s yang. Where as Jameson breaks people down, Robbie should be there to bring them up. Hudson is good at small roles that carry a lot of baggage. If you’ve seen The Crow, then you’ll see why Hudson fits this role.
Betty Brant- Zooey Deschanel
Elizabeth Banks is another that doesn’t need recast for her role, but reboots don’t carry actors over (not a good reboot at least). This chick can play around with humor and, as seen in 500 Days of Summer, seduction (though not as blatantly as most women). Completely separate from the matter, she just looks cute and would make the film more attractive.
Gwen Stacy-Angelica Mandy
Looks the part. Same age as Massoglia. I honestly have no other justification.
Mary Jane Watson- Eleanor Tomlinson
Same reasoning as Mandy.
Harry Osborn- Anton Yelchin
A fan favorite of most everyone on the site, Yelchin was a no-brainer.
Flash Thompson- Travis Van Winkle
Van Winkle has no trouble playing a douche bag, and that’s just the kind of actor needed to play Flash. Van Winkle can play the idiot jock, but also play the Spidey fan boy. Really, it’s never a hard role to play the jock (you just swing your fists and act stupid).
Doctor Curtis Connors/The Lizard- Billy Crudup
Billy Crudup’s already played one comic book scientist, so why not let him tackle another. Playing Connors would let us see more of Crudup’s acting ability other than the monotone Dr. Manhattan. For this role, I’d want to see more of Crudup’s three dimensional acting, such as his role in Big Fish.
Felicia Hardy/Black Cat- Megan Fox
As stated before, a little makeup and hair coloring can make anyone into anybody. Megan Fox has shown that she needs to put little effort into playing the sexy temptress. There is a lot more to Hardy’s character than just sex appeal, but if Fox ever learns to act then she’ll be perfect (albeit she’ll have to dye her hair blonde).
Eddie Brock/ Venom- Cody Linley
Apparently this guy was on Hanna Montana (sorry). But he looks like a pretty big dude and he fits Brock’s appearance. Can he act? Hell if I know. All I know is that he looks the part.
Captain George Stacy- Thomas Jane
“You can’t do that,” you say, “Jane played The Punisher.” Yeah, well I did it anyway and I don’t care what you think. Jane has that sort of older than himself aura about him that fits this character well.
Maxwell Dillon/Electro- Adam Brody
Brody played kind of a good villain in Jennifer’s Body, so he could work as Dillon. He also has a good look for the character.
Alex O’Hirn/Rhino- Kevin Durand
I believe it was LEEE7 that suggested Durand whilst commenting on my Amazing Spider-Man II article. Credit has been given. As for his qualifications, Durand is a big guy that fits the look, and he is a constant comic relief in most of the films he’s been in (I don’t care if he was The Blob).
Norman Osborn/Green Goblin- John C. McGinley
The guy has the ability to play the role very well (FYI, I’m not stealing this choice from anyone, I just happen to have the same opinion). The guy can play comedy for sure, but before he was on Scrubs he was in films where he played more serious roles. The dude could definitely pull off Osborn.
Wilson Fisk/Kingpin- Michael Clark Duncan
Considering that my cast is for a Spider-Man reboot not Daredevil, then why should I assume that the rebooted Spider-Man doesn’t live in the same world as Fox’s Daredevil? (My first reboot plot gave hints at connections to the Marvel Universe, the Nelson and Murdock Law Firm included.)
Roderick Kingsley/Hobgoblin- Orlando Bloom
I don’t know why I chose Bloom (probably because I’m pulling names out of my ass to finish a casting that I should have done like three months ago). However, Bloom showed us that he could play a somewhat wicked character in PoC 3. If he took that one further, Bloom would probably make good on this role.
Herman Schultz/Shocker- Simon Pegg
“???” I don’t have to explain myself to you. In my plot for The Amazing Spider-Man III, Shocker’s role is fairly small. Considering also that Shocker has always been one of Spidey’s more petty villains, the role doesn’t exactly require Oscar-worthy talent. Pegg can act seriously. He also just looks like a pathetic human being (no offense; love ya, Pegg), which goes hand-in-hand with Shocker as a second-rate supervillain.
Quentin Beck/Mysterio- Jason Segel
Beck doesn’t need all too serious of an actor to play him (I mean, people were pulling for Bruce Campbell for a long time). Jason Segel has a great look in terms of where he’d stand for this role. He may be better known for his comedy roles, but I’m sure the dude could pull this off.
Cletus Kassidy/Carnage- Elijah Wood
Who would play Carnage? Elijah Wood! Get it? Well, screw you! You’re not funny either! No, but seriously, Wood could play this part. After his bursts of insanity in Lord of the Rings and the way he leaped around in Sin City (whether it was him or a stunt man), I’m convinced that he would do the role justice.
If there are any questions as to how these characters would be used in a reboot film series, click the link to Fictitious United at the top of the page and check out the following articles:
The Amazing Spider-Man
The Amazing Spider-Man II
The Amazing Spider-Man III
The Amazing Spider-Man IV
The Amazing Spider-Man V
The Amazing Spider-Man VI