NFL Players as Game of Thrones Characters

NFL Players as <i>Game of Thrones</i> Characters compares NFL players to your favorite Game of Thrones characters.

There is a brilliant editorial on today by Rob Bricken comparing NFL players to characters in George R. R. Martin’s epic A Song Of Fire and Ice series (or more accurately, HBO’s Game of Thrones). Yes, Maxim Magazine has more than just scantily clad women in absurd poses. They actually have a brilliant writing team and plain hilarious articles. Here is a sampling of the article.


The King in the North! Both young men replaced a long-beloved ruler (Ned Stark, Brett Favre) but have led their Northmen with even more success: Robb’s winning the war against the Lannisters, and Rodgers won the Super Bowl and was basically invincible last year. And yes, by this analogy we think Favre should have been beheaded.


Bear with us on this: Yes, Jaime Lannister is known for being hot, which Peyton isn’t, but Jaime is one of Westeros’ best swordsmen, just as Peyton is one of the NFL’s most elite quarterbacks. However, age is catching up to both of them, and (mild spoilers) we expect both of them to get injured this upcoming season.


Two men, forever in the shadow of their older brothers. As a misshapen dwarf, no one takes Tyrion Lannister seriously or even expects anything out of him… but he masterminded the plan that saved King’s Landing from the Baratheon forces. The equally underestimated Eli Manning managed to win two Super Bowls against seemingly impossible odds, and still no one believes it because he looks like a fucking goofball.


Theon Greyjoy betrayed the family he was raised with, the Starks, to try to impress his incredibly grumpy father. Tim Tebow betrayed the family he grew up with by choosing to go play for the Jets instead of his legion of fans in Jacksonville, probably to impress Jesus or something. Plus, they are both terrible at their respective professions — waging war and quarterbacking.


Petyr “Littlefinger” Baelish isn’t royalty, but as a simple owner of brothels has managed to worm his way into the royal court, and can match wits and plot with the best of them. Rob Gronkowski wears Zubaz pants and is really good at football. Admittedly, the two don’t seem much alike until you remember that both men are constantly surrounded by women who get paid to have sex. A lot.


One is a young, smug, talentless bastard who lucked into power, constantly makes terrible decisions while thinking he’s a genius, and has fucked up his domain every single minute he’s been in charge of it. The other is King Joffrey. Do the math.

To view the entire article in all its hilarity, Click Here.

Posted By:
Jenny Conley
Member Since 5/4/2009
Filed Under "Fantasy" 9/13/2012 Source: Maxim Magazine Online
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