EXCLUSIVE!!!!!Gusto’s Super-Awesome Funtime Christmas List!!!
Is Gusto the best? It's been confirmed...he is!
in my ongoing quest to win countless Hot Bunz contests, teach Nuck 2nd Grade Math, protect the innocent with all the sweet kung fu moves I picked up from watchin’ The Matrix over 40 times, and, in general make the world a better, more sexy place...I've put together a boss Christmas list to brighten your stupid day…Jerks.
Most of my list is stuff for other people. Mainly, because I’m 1000% awesome, and I need little but what I drink…plus all my friends are losers that need crap.
1. A safe holiday for all our Armed Forces…’cause the U.S.A. Rules!!!!
2. At least 5000 hours of tutoring in English, Spelling, Math, Social Studies…ah…pretty much every subject there is, for Nuck.
3. A badass new super-bionic arm for Stubby.
4. A new football team for Waylon, because his sucks & a real NFL team for SP so he won’t have to keep going on and on about that crappy WNBA team they have now. GO LIONS! PACKERS SUCK IT!!!!
5. For Thorverine…a dump truck full of sun screen.
6. For Gaston to be way less of a hate-mongering racist.
7. Red Carpet passes for Ror to go see The Expendables 2...just one ticket…no date. Ha…what boner, watchin‘ The Expendables all alone.
8. A bucket of candy for LC and an escape submarine for Lee.
9. For Teabag…an all expense-paid tattoo removal session(and, for me…that time alone with his hard drive).
10. For Tittie…a cool new daddy…wink! And, for Monkk…a badass new brother-in-law!
11. Husky pants for Ecks, for Wee Wee to finally touch a real boob and a Robocop DVD for ReRe.
12. A bromance with Tom Welling for Grif!
13. For all of SOAL…a bunch of helmets to protect you morons from getting even more closed-head injuries…and…sniffle…for Trudy to come home!
14. And, for the rest of you idiots…whatever the hell crap it is you want! Stay off my lawn!
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