Ror's Best & Worst Of 2013 Part 2

Ror's Best & Worst Of 2013 Part 2

We've had the best, now here's the fun stuff! What follows are the 5 CBM related movies I feel were, if not the worst, then at least the most disappointing of 2013. Click on to see if you agree/disagree and as always have your say in the comments section.

Because most of this year's "true" comic book based movies thankfully fell in to the best of list, we are left with a bunch of movies that we covered on the site for various CBM related reasons. Also, although this is a "worst of" list, not all of the following are fact some are even quite watchable, I would just consider them a big disappointment given their potential.


I really didn't hate The Lone Ranger at all, and actually thought twice about putting it on this list..but it just about scrapes the 5 spot over RED 2 which I had more fun with. This is a strange one though: Part goofy buddy movie, part serious (at times quite violent) drama with yet another "quirky" character for Johnny Depp to annoy us with. The different tones never gel, and despite a pretty good performance from Armie Hammer, his Lone Ranger is too much of a toolbag to ever root for. The finale set piece is definitely worth a watch though.


This might be a controversial one, as Guillermo del Toro's monster mash was pretty popular overall with fans and critics..but not with me I'm afraid. I didn't think it was a complete write off to be fair - the Kaiju/Jaeger scraps are pretty damn incredible to behold..but the rest? From the limping, stuffy Brit scientist to the arrogant young pilot you just know is gonna come good in the end, the human characters are a blight on this film. I have read all manner of excuses for this horseshit from critics and bloggers but the bottom line is this: Regardless of genre, director, writer -- you either care about things like acting and characterization or you don't. Just because this is a movie about giants hacking lumps out of each other it makes them no less important, in fact I'd argue it makes them more so. If you're only concern is visual spectacle, Pacific Rim delivers, but I wanted more.


If all Pacific Rim had going for it were the Kaiju/Jaeger beatdowns, at least it had them - the closest thing this bore has is a swarm of CG skinny people pretending to be zombies. Brad Pitt may be good in the lead but it's a thankless role, and we're never allowed to get to to know any of the other characters well enough to care about them. There are a couple of interesting ideas that are touched on -- no doubt echoes of the geopolitical themes of the novel -- but never explored properly, and ultimately this muted, bloodless (in every sense) affair is just too afraid to be a full-on zombie movie and not interesting enough to be anything else.


I actually had some hope for this after a decent enough trailer and because it stars one of my favorite actors (Jeff Bridges), but it really is a mess. To be fair, it's probably not QUITE as bad as many critics would have you believe (13% on RT seems a tad harsh), but ultimately it's just too formulaic and takes itself far too seriously given its silly premise. You will struggle to keep watching after an hour.


Sometimes a movie can overcome its shortcomings by really excelling in some particular way. It happens a lot with certain types of action flicks - you just get hammered into submission with the sheer level of inventive carnage on display, and even though you find yourself stifling a laugh every time anyone opens their mouth, you wind up having fun regardless. GI JOE: Retaliation is not one of those movies. An unintentionally hilarious pile of rubbish, one of the dumbest movies I've ever seen, and officially my worst CBM related flick of 2013.
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