EDITORIAL: Bizarre Trends In The SPIDER-MAN Franchise

EDITORIAL: Bizarre Trends In The SPIDER-MAN Franchise

The recent release of the first trailer for The Amazing Spider-Man 2 made me excited for the future, but also nostalgic for the past. I decided to go back and remember the the strange patterns, and bizarre creative decisions from the four existing Spider-Man movies...

Bizarre Trends in the Spider-Man Franchise

The recent release of the first trailer for, “The Amazing Spider-Man 2”, made me excited for the future, but also nostalgic for the past. I decided to go back and remember the the strange patterns, and bizarre creative decisions from the four existing Spider-Man movies. Join me as I openly mock the movies I love!

I love the “Spider-Man” movies. I really do. It is an unconditional love, not affected by scenes of “emo” Peter or “stutter-like-an-idiot” Peter. Nevertheless, I realize these films are not flawless, and I have noticed a few questionable creative decisions. Go ahead and read through my list, and I promise you will be entertained!

Let It Rain

Upon initial viewing of, “Spider-Man”, I was proud of the filmmakers. The film ended at a funeral, but it did not conform to the hollywood standard for funerals. It was an overcast, windy day, with not a raindrop in sight! Usually, rain at a funeral is meant to cause an overall sense of gloominess, but I was proud to say “Spider-Man” defied this cliche.

Then came “Spider-Man 3”, and I was severely disappointed. This movie also had a funeral at the end, but it was pouring rain. However, I assumed that “The Amazing Spider-Man” would break this curse, since this was a new take on the character, with fresh ideas! Except, wait, this movie also has a funeral scene, and it is pouring rain.

Even if you ignore the irritating cliches of the latter two films, it becomes apparent that three of the four existing Spider-Man movies end with a funeral. Oddly enough, these funerals are never for Uncle Ben, even though we see him die twice. Sure, the psychopath serial killer that nearly murdered Peter multiple times, Peter’s bipolar buddy, and the guy who sounds like Diego from the “Ice Age” movies deserve to be honored, but forget about the guy who basically became Peter’s father.

Gobblin’ Up The Spotlight

The original “Spider-Man” featured the man who was arguably Spider-Man’s greatest enemy, the Green Goblin. In “Spider-Man 3”, his son, Harry, discovers his equipment and becomes the second Green Goblin. You could argue that he actually becomes the “New Goblin”, but you probably will not, because that is a stupid argument. He is only referred to by that insanely stupid moniker in the credits, he is never called that in the movie itself. In addition, Harry is never called that in the comics, he just becomes the Green Goblin.

In the trailer for, “The Amazing Spider-Man”, it appears that Harry will once again become the Green Goblin. Even if Norman is really the one wearing the armor, or if it is someone else entirely, we are still going to see a new version of the Green Goblin. My initial reaction was doubtless the same as most viewers of the trailer.

Come on, again? That means that three out of five of these movies have included some version of the Green Goblin. You might argue that ol’ Gobby has been brought back so that he could kill Gwen Stacy, but I think it is far more likely that the Sony executives have a Goblin fetish.

Size Matters Not… Except When It Does.

Fans had plenty of complaints with the depiction of Venom in “Spider-Man 3”, but I think their biggest complaint was that Venom was just too small (or was that just me?). In the comics, Venom is huge, but in the movie, he is the same size as Spidey.

Marc Webb must have listened to the fans (or just me, I really cannot remember), because in “The Amazing Spider-Man”, Lizard is twice the height of Spider-Man! Nevermind he was the same size as our favorite wall-crawler in the comics.

I know they exist in different continuities, but am I the only one who thinks it is a little odd that the sizes of Venom and Lizard have been swapped?

Make Up Your Mind, Darn It

Am I the only one who has noticed that the majority of supervillains in this franchise eventually turn good? The only exceptions are the original Green Goblin and Venom. Doctor Octopus goes from being a murderous, kidnapping, psychopathic lunatic to a nice guy who sacrifices himself to save New York City. (Okay, he saved the city from a problem he is responsible for, but it is still a nice gesture. ) Harry Osborn is Peter’s best friend, then he tries to kill Peter, then he is Peter’s best friend once more, then he tries to kill him again, then he dies protecting Peter from Venom. One might argue that this is an abusive relationship that Peter should flee from as soon as possible, but the point is that Harry died a hero.

Sandman, after being defeated, tells Peter that he killed Uncle Ben on accident, and then apologizes, or something. It is hard to remember, I have not seen the movie in a while (I am still mad about that funeral scene). The Lizard saves Peter’s life after receiving the cure, which is a good thing, because falling down the side of a building would be a really stupid way for Spider-Man to die.

Out of six supervillains, four have turned good by the end of the movie. I cannot help but wonder, are the filmmakers trying to send the opposite message of “The Dark Knight”? Apparently, you either die the villain, or you live longer enough to see yourself become a hero.

Freaky Friday

Gwen Stacy was Peter Parker’s first love, but she was not very interesting. She was a sweet girl, but she was not particularly complicated, or conflicted. Since this is Marvel, she was promptly killed off. Mary Jane Watson was far more interesting, as she had a troubled backstory. She was also much more lively, and, of course, she used a lot more adjectives.

Why exactly did the movie Gwen and movie Mary Jane switch personalities? In the original trilogy, Kirsten Dunst’s Mary Jane may have a troubled backstory, but she is nowhere near as animated as the character in the comics, and she does not use nearly as many adjectives. Emma Stone’s Gwen is still nice, but she is also spunky, and has a lot more personality than the comic book character.

I do not mean to confuse people, I think Dunst was great as Mary Jane, and Stone was great as Gwen. However, I cannot help but wonder what these films would have been like if the two actresses switched roles, and I doubt I am the only one who feels this way.

You have made it to the end of my list! You should feel proud, as this article is longer than “Spider-Man 3”, but only half as entertaining. I know, I promised you would be entertained, but I broke my promise, because let’s face it, those are the best kind.

Did you like my article? Have you noticed any other bizarre trends in the Spider-Man franchise? Do you think think I have the editorial skills of J. Jonah Jameson? Let me know in the comments! Just keep in mind, when you say mean things, this is what I do:
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