EDITORIAL: Why DC Film Fans Must Hail Hydra

Us DC fans are at a pinnacle time. With Marvel, Sony and Fox are making quality CBM after CBM, and DC doesn’t have a live action film until ‘16. What can we possibly do? We Hail Hydra like a boss! Click the jump to read BatmanHeisenberg’s editorial!

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By BatManHeisenberg - 4/26/2014

NOTE: I am a practical man. I take great inspiration from heroes like Will Ferrell, Stephen Colbert, Steve Carell and PsychoManiacJacky, and this is just my honest opinion. Don’t like it?



Marvel is winning pretty hard right now, we all know this. DC fans have wanted to edge out Marvel ever since the start of the MCU. Is there a solution, anything that can help us win this war? Why yes there is. A fantastic organization, known as HYDRA, is gracefully willing to help us in this war. But why should we take help from this organization? Here’s some reasons why:

 

They’re Already Winning:



Recently, it was reported that The Other Woman will beat out Captain America this weekend. How’s that you ask? Hydra. They recruited Kate Upton to help further their agenda, and take down Marvel Studios. It will only be a matter of time until films like Smurfs 49 or Scary Movie 22 beat out movies like Marvel’s flagship property: The Avengers. Hydra has a master plan, and they are ruthless and unforgiving.


We Need ANYTHING We Can Get:



We are LOSING this war, and if someone like HYDRA is willing to help us, evil or not, we NEED to take it. They hate The Avengers, and will do ANYTHING to take them down. This helps us, and our agenda. We can fit together like peanut butter and jelly, if we just try.

They Have DC’s Best Interests In Mind:



They love WB/DC, and will do anything we ask to win. The whole Batman vs Superman vs Captain America 3 debacle was no accident. HYDRA has us in mind, and is making sure that Disney bows to us. What else can we ask for?


This war isn’t over, but we have an option to get the edge. Why turn that edge down?

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TheAbaryMan369 - 4/26/2014, 1:21 PM
This is the greatest article in all of history. HAIL HYDRA
AlexanderLykins - 4/26/2014, 1:21 PM
BatManHeisenberg, Pasto would have words with thee.
TheAbaryMan369 - 4/26/2014, 1:22 PM
I'm laughing when you say that Jacky is your hero though.
Pasto - 4/26/2014, 1:29 PM
0megaDaGod - 4/26/2014, 1:33 PM


I PHUCKING KNEW IT WAS HYDRA!

McNyagano - 4/26/2014, 1:35 PM
If you say so...

0megaDaGod - 4/26/2014, 1:38 PM
Now I find out Kate Upton is Hydra

AlexanderLykins - 4/26/2014, 1:56 PM
@BatManHeisenberg
MrBatmor - 4/26/2014, 2:10 PM
BEST ARTICLE EVER!! THE LOGIC IS STRONG HERE!! :P
AlexanderLykins - 4/26/2014, 2:18 PM
@BatManHeisenberg
The feeling's mutual.
Nomis - 4/26/2014, 2:34 PM
I thought the "HAIL HYDRA" fad had past on?
Nomis - 4/26/2014, 3:11 PM
@ BatManHeisenberg - Well, then by all means...

Odin - 4/26/2014, 3:13 PM
BoomTubeB - 4/26/2014, 3:26 PM
BlackestKnight - 4/26/2014, 3:41 PM
damn hydra
GliderMan - 4/26/2014, 4:24 PM
I'm just waiting for the Hail Hydra porn parody.
BoomTubeB - 4/26/2014, 4:43 PM
DrunkenNukem - 4/26/2014, 4:58 PM
lol @BH good article

but no i wont say that neo nazi "Hail Hydra" line...

McGee - 4/26/2014, 8:09 PM
Mothchild - 4/26/2014, 8:10 PM
How do I join Hydra?
NeoBaggins - 4/26/2014, 8:13 PM
Yo, Heisenberg; you my Frigga and er'thang but um....


"Marvel, Sony and Fox are making quality CBM after CBM"


ThrotTheUnclean - 4/26/2014, 8:23 PM
I know this is sort of a joke article but lets get real. The statement that "Sony and Fox are making quality CBM after CBM" is absurd. Every X-Men film except the first one has been shit. Wolverine was shit and you people just decided to say it was decent (which it wasn't) because you felt bad for Hugh Jackman. Fox has never made anything except terrible [frick]ing films. Sony only got 1.5 Spiderman films out of five. Which I would categorize as more a fluke than anything else.

I am no DC fanboy but DC/WB has had a better track record compared than Fox and Sony. Starting from 1989 through today DC has released has made 15 films; from the Batman (1989) to Man of Steel (2013). Out of those 15 I count 6 which could be argued to be below average. But those six are not any worse than some of these Marvel films we have gotten since 1989.

I will agree MCU is kicking ass, but with the whole Mandarin debacle and the recent Ant-Man and Ultron decisions I see their stock slipping in the near future. If any film studio could take advantage of this it would be DC/WB. I am not suggesting that MCU will not remain top in box office. Even with the less than thrilling casting rumors for the upcoming BvS movie, I don't believe it will be a blow out.
rkshuttleworth - 4/26/2014, 8:28 PM
I realize that Hydra is even showing its face on TV, but I still get to watch Arrow.
rkshuttleworth - 4/26/2014, 8:29 PM
Dare I also mention all of the coming DC TV shows in production?
FlixMentallo21 - 4/26/2014, 8:41 PM
HYDRA??? FEH.....

Stonewall - 4/26/2014, 8:55 PM
mgeoff88 - 4/26/2014, 8:56 PM
Sorry, I don't work with terrorists. HYDRA may have Kate Upton, but The Avengers has these lovely ladies:







Your move, HYDRA. ;)
UltimateHunt - 4/26/2014, 9:06 PM
What if HYDRA was created by marvel (lol ;)) and its WB/DC executives?
They hired Snyder to write and direct man of steel
Hired Goyer
And cast Gal as WW.
But I think they found HYDRA. Chris was chosen to write BvS after wards. Idk my guess. Cool article
kalelhawj - 4/26/2014, 9:06 PM
LOL @ Quality... Marvel with all the movie they have been releasing has only manage to muster three good movie: 1st Iron man, CAP, and Avengers. While limited when WB do release they do put out better quality movie. they have Superman the movie, batman 89, the TDK trilogy, and MOS. That's 6 vs 3.
UltimateHunt - 4/26/2014, 9:08 PM
Marvel is not just winning.
We are :DDDD
UltimateHunt - 4/26/2014, 9:15 PM
Kalel
Nice but I would Add Watchmen to dc,
Maybe take out tdkr, mos,
Its funny how u have
4 bats and 2 superman
When they have about 9 movies together. (Just a thought) nice try.
UltimateHunt - 4/26/2014, 9:16 PM
BMH. .
Good weird article btw.
Ranger14 - 4/26/2014, 9:28 PM
"...but with the whole Mandarin debacle..."

Debacle? There's a group of vocal people here who complain about the way the Mandarin was handled. If you think that small group determines whether Marvel's stock is going to do well...not sure how to break it to you. Like it or not, IM3 was received and rated very well by the general audiences who do determine the success of a film.
Greengo - 4/26/2014, 9:31 PM
I don't think that group is as small as you do ranger.
Dunejedi - 4/26/2014, 9:35 PM
I would love it if WB got it in gear and started trying to do what MS is doing, but based on their recent track record I'm skeptical. Sony needs to let Fiege and Marvel have more say in their Spidey films. And I've just straight-up given up on seeing MY X-Men on film for a loooooong time. I don't absolutely love everything Marvel is doing, but overall I am quite happy.

And it's possible I may never tire of seeing or saying. . . Hail Hydra!!
fortycals - 4/26/2014, 9:36 PM
MightyZeus - 4/26/2014, 9:44 PM
I'm not involved in a war between Marvel and DC. I support both sides. I despise HYDRA and it's method's.

If i where to side with a division or an organisation it would have to be A.I.M.
FlixMentallo21 - 4/26/2014, 10:26 PM
CO-BRAAAAA!!!!!
BlindJustice - 4/26/2014, 10:29 PM
I do feel bad for the strictly devoted DC fans, but maybe they'll get some more animated films between now and then. I miss Young Justice, Green Lantern, that 'other' Teen Titans cartoon...and pretty much EVERY series Bruce Timm ever touched.

But alas, HAIL HYDRA!
Starfox - 4/26/2014, 10:49 PM
@BatmanHeisenberg
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