Josh Wilding Reviews: G.I. JOE: RETALIATION 3D

It's been out for just over a week, but if you're still on the fence about whether or not to check out G.I. Joe: Retaliation this weekend - read my spoiler-free verdict after the jump!

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By Josh Wilding - 4/5/2013

Let's get something straight. I know nothing about G.I. Joe. I've never read the comics, watched the cartoons or even bothered checking out 2009's G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra for that matter. For that reason, I can't tell you how happy G.I. Joe: Retaliation will make fans of the Hasbro franchise. I can however tell you that this sequel is tremendous fun! My main motivation for checking out this movie was undoubtedly Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson and that's more than likely what Paramount were counting on when they signed him up as Roadblock. As per usual, he dominates the screen with his charm and charisma, while it's surprising just how much chemistry he shares with the ever improving Channing Tatum (Duke) in the early stages of the film.

Elsewhere, the quality of performances vary greatly. Byung-hun Lee (Storm Shadow), Elodie Yung (Jinx) and D.J. Cotrona (Flint) are totally forgettable, while Ray Stevenson is wasted as Firefly - for a far more impressive villainous turn from the actor, check out the latest season of Dexter. Bruce Willis is decent as the original Joe, while Jonathan Pryce has a lot of fun as the apparent Commander in Chief. The always excellent Walton Goggins also has a brief but fairly memorable few minutes as Warden Nigel James. However, it's Adrianne Palicki (Lady Jaye) who steals the show here. Not necessarily because of her performance - though she is very good to be fair - but due to how damn stunning she is! Wow.

Director John M. Chu does a great job with his first big budget action blockbuster, with the highly publicised ninja fight sequence on the side of a cliff and the destruction of London a definite highight. G.I. Joe: Retaliation does run into a few problems when it comes to some choppy editing and dodgy dialogue (not to mention the mostly mediocre story), but for the most part, it really is a fun action romp. Whether it was worth delaying it for the so-so 3D conversion is debatable though. Regardless, while it may not be a masterpiece or even a VERY GOOD blockbuster, it's still possible to enjoy a lot of what's on offer here if you're willing to switch your brain off and accept it for what it is; dumb fun.

Macho madness that makes for a decent warm-up to the impending blockbuster season. Hoo-rah!





2013 Reviews So Far...

The Last Stand (3/5)
Bullet To The Head (1/5)
Wreck-It Ralph (4/5)
A Good Day To Die Hard (2/5)
Warm Bodies (4/5)
Mama (3/5)
Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters 3D (3/5)
Oz: The Great and Powerful 3D (4/5)
Evil Dead (4/5)







In this sequel, the G.I. Joes are not only fighting their mortal enemy Cobra; they are forced to contend with threats from within the government that jeopardize their very existence. The film stars D.J. Cotrona, Byung-hun Lee, Adrianne Palicki, Ray Park, Jonathan Pryce, Ray Stevenson, Channing Tatum with Bruce Willis and Dwayne Johnson. Directed Jon M. Chu, and produced by Lorenzo di Bonventura and Brian Goldner, from screenplay by Rhett Reese & Paul Wernick based on Hasbro’s G.I Joe characters.


STARRING:

Channing Tatum as Duke
Dwayne Johnson as Roadblock
Bruce Willis as General Joseph Colton
Adrianne Palicki as Lady Jaye
Ray Park as Snake Eyes
Lee Byung-hun as Storm Shadow
Ray Stevenson as Firefly
RZA as Blind Master
Arnold Vosloo as Zartan
D.J. Cotrona as Flint
Elodie Yung as Jinx
Stephen Martines as Cross-Country
Eddie Hargitay as Tunnel Rat
Joseph Mazzello as Mouse

RELEASE DATE: Out Now!


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30 Comments
thorhulk77 - 4/5/2013, 2:28 PM
The movie was good for a popcorn flick. Certainly better than the first.
Wildaniel - 4/5/2013, 2:32 PM
Saw it last week it was awesome! Not a big fan of 3d but I will check it out again this week in 3d.
JoshWilding - 4/5/2013, 2:38 PM
IM53: Ha, I'm sure I'll catch up with you guys someday...probably at SDCC or NYCC! My trip to NYC a couple of weeks back was just a flying visit for all the touristy stuff (seeing the Knicks play was a definite highlight and a million times better than that mother[frick]ing musical). :)
Spike22 - 4/5/2013, 2:38 PM
Yeah, that sums up the experience pretty well.
RyanTcone - 4/5/2013, 2:39 PM
How is Cobra Commander's voice? That's all I care about.
JoshWilding - 4/5/2013, 2:41 PM
RyanTcone: I'm not sure what it's supposed to sound like, but I thought it was pretty cool!
OptimusPrimeTime - 4/5/2013, 2:46 PM
@@Josh Wildong.
Agreed, agreed, agreed. Spot on review! This flick was not as bad as most make it out to be. It was alot of fun for me.


All you forgot to mention was RZA as Blind Master! Just as a stellar performance is to be mentioned and praised, RZA's performance should be noted for borderlining on clinical retardation.
JoshWilding - 4/5/2013, 2:53 PM
OptimusPrimeTime: Thanks! And oh man, I can't believe I forgot to mention that - I'm going to blame it on my mind trying to forget the ridiculously terrible performance it was seeing. Thank God he was only in it for a few minutes!
Bark4Soul - 4/5/2013, 3:17 PM
Stopped reading when he said "I know nothing of GI Joe" - Already seen the film but the series is so hardcore you need someone who has SOME Joe knowledge. It'd be like me reviewing a boat or plane I bought when I've never flown or road in one...
nowtheresaBATman - 4/5/2013, 3:44 PM
palICKI isn't even half as hot as Rachel Nichols.

lol like I'm gonna read a review from some kid that wasn't even alive in the 80's.
RorMachine - 4/5/2013, 3:58 PM
Yes, the only people allowed to have an opinion on this movie are old gits.
RorMachine - 4/5/2013, 4:36 PM
That's just not true Weneed..I hate you, and you're completely worthless!
TheRationalOne - 4/5/2013, 4:37 PM
I enjoyed it. Still kinda mad they killed off Duke. That just seems a bit blasphemous for a GI Joe movie.
misterm - 4/5/2013, 4:55 PM
It was entertaining, but plot wise, it was bat shit wee todd ed. Truth be told, was kinda offended by how they did Lady Jaye. I don't mind sexy, but it seems kinda weak to make this badass soldier little more than eye candy for fan boys. It was fun in a 10 year old kid kinda way, but overall its pretty dumb, and don't go looking for the comic or cartoon.
Xfactorz - 4/5/2013, 5:14 PM
I can appreciate the honesty of this review but as a G.I.JOE fan with realistic expectations I can say without hesitation that this movie was complete garbage. Character portrayal was terrible, dialog was awful, editing was crap and the choreography wasn't even impressive. The only things done right were the casting and the costumes. The first one was better and I didn't even care too much for that.
RorMachine - 4/5/2013, 5:18 PM
Pot and kettle Gusto!..also belated Happy Birthday you fossil:)
GUNSMITH - 4/5/2013, 6:48 PM
GUNSMITH - 4/5/2013, 6:51 PM
lanternstorm - 4/5/2013, 7:38 PM
(Spoiler) The only saving grace for this movie was they paid homage to the 90's cartoon by turning Storm Shadow good... yes there were a few funny parts and some decent action but I think Rise of Cobra was far better. Why have all of the movies Bruce Willis has been in as of late transformed him from action star to side kick... hell even his own movie "A Good Day to Die Hard" turned him into the side kick. And by no means what that an accurate portrayal of Flint. Where was his beret? and btw... Flint should have taken the place of Duke after his death not the Rock... anyone who remembers the cartoon, knows that in any episode Duke wasn't in, Flint was in charge because of the growing popularity of his Hasboro action figure. Maybe they should have named this "The Rock kills Cobra" instead of G.I. Joe
YoungThanos - 4/5/2013, 8:14 PM
^^^LOL IF YOU'RE SAYING THAT RISE OF COBRA WAS BETTER THEN I'M DEFINITELY WAITING FOR THE REDBOX RELEASE...

THE OP'S REVIEW OF THIS FILM IS ONE SIGHTED. IF YOU WERE NEVER A FAN OF THE 80'S CARTOON THEN YOU HAVE THE BLESSING OF GOING TO WATCH THIS FILM WITH NOTHING VESTED.

YET DESPITE THAT IT STILL SOUNDS LIKE ANY CHARACTER THAT ISN'T THE ROCK, SNAKE EYES OR LADY JAY PLAYING AS EYE CANDY IS PRETTY MUCH A WASTE. THEY KILLED OFF DUKE INSTEAD OF REDEEMING THE CHARACTER. THERE'S NO SIGN OF DESTRO. THE SCRIPT WAS STILL STUPID AND THE ONLY THING SAID TO BE DECENT WAS A VOLCANO SCENE THAT WAS SHOE HORNED IN IN THE FIRST PLACE...

IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE AN OSCAR WINNING PERFORMANCE BUT ANYTIME A CARTOON VERSION OF THE STORY AND MOST OF THE CHARACTERS ARE BETTER THAN THE LIVE ACTION "BOTH TIMES" I'LL JUST SAVE MY MONEY AND WATCH THE 80'S CARTOON ON NETFLIX!

NEXT PLEASE....
FlixMentallo21 - 4/5/2013, 8:57 PM
I'm thinking instead of Firefly, the character Stevenson was playing should have been Major Bludd.

I think I'll work on a recast/reworked G.I. Joe movie fancast.
AdamX - 4/5/2013, 10:32 PM
The movie was a disappointment. 2 stars. The story was a mess and the acting was atrocious. Hope 3rd Times the charm.
GetsugaTensho22 - 4/5/2013, 10:57 PM
It wasn't "bad", but it was a lot dumber than i thought it would be.
novaprime - 4/6/2013, 12:21 AM
Sorry to say but i thought this movie was Terrible!! EVILDEAD PURE MASTERPIECE!!!!!!!!
amxt - 4/6/2013, 12:21 AM
Let me just ask, how long does it take for YOUR computer to boot?? Now, if you had to turn it on in a race of time against impending doom.....

Oh, and Palicki does look great. I kept imagining her in a Wonder Woman costume and began to drift off wonder how bad that pilot had to have been to not put her out there...



novaprime - 4/6/2013, 12:22 AM
Agree 100% with adam x
Bark4Soul - 4/6/2013, 9:44 AM
Lol look at Ror coming to his besties defense, I have no issues with anyones work on here but my post from above still stands.
thegamedrex - 4/6/2013, 9:24 PM
GI Joe decided to not go the origins route, not go the remake route of some cartoon based greatest hit for their series. They decided to go another route and duke is dead, get over it, get over a lot of things, they need some footing and the third movie will be better making a good build up.
RetroFit - 4/7/2013, 2:41 AM
I can't wait for the reboot. They messes this up from the start. They should have done it as a superhero vs. supervillain movie with a script by Larry Hama of the comics. GI Joe was fun because it was big, colourful, the characters were unique and interesting looking plus they all had different abilities and weapons. This garbage takes all that and turns them into generic carbon copies with the same weapons and gray, green and black real-world Army outfits. BORING!
Stumblin - 4/8/2013, 5:39 AM
This movie sucked beyond belief. The entire film was boring and confusing and I did my best to stay away. Really a waste of time and money.

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