Rickly's Review - Resident Evil: Retribution (Spoiler-Free)

..Milla Jovovich goes at it again...in slow-motion and 3-D...so do the monsters, as well as the box-office, stand a chance?

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By Anil Rickly - 9/12/2012
Paul Anderson has made it a habit to get his wife, Milla, leathered up and performing all sorts of stunts in freeze-frames, while beating fiends and monsters mercilessly. Now, having breath life into the Resident Evil franchise...the couple go at it again. I'm talking about the movie, of course...



Milla sets off early on with her usual kick-ass and ask questions later modus operandi as the film picks up from Afterlife with the Redfields and Alice at the mercy of the Umbrella Corporation. The Redfields are given a strange sort of treatment in this film as it quickly boils down to Wesker and the Red Queen hammering things out with Alica as the pawn. I won't spill anything here but it's highly ludicrous and no doubt obvious how the film would end...after watching the first 10 minutes. Milla's looks no doubt, and her flexibility as Alice, have sold more tickets than Kate Beckinsale's tight bosom at the box-office, so when you throw in some more hotties from the video-game franchise, I think fanboys would be hoping for the best.



Sad to say, the wooden performances of the cast, especially Milla, helps the franchise regress as this turns out to be one of the worst movies in an already flailing franchise. Anderson has a knack for assembling an ensemble of model-like people in these films but the thing is...there's no chemistry on-screen as these guys are nothing short of robotic. Sienna Guillory is only there to look sexy (and she does it immaculately) but her role is as trite and wasted as Johann Urb's portrayal of Leon. You'd think these 2 would be orchestrated well...but there's a drone-like attitude in the cast...and it's nothing that sparks on-screen.



Further fizzling is Michelle Rodriguez as Rain and Kevin Durand as Barry Burton, as both manage mediocre performances at best. The film's climax is a disaster of a finale and I shudder for those who spend the money in 3-D. With this cast, there was potential. Forget how iffy the previous films were. This film could have been what Justin Lin did to reinvigorate the last two Fast and Furious movies but Anderson's script and his hiring template continues to disappoint. The movie's pacing and its hazard of a score help cultivate a feel that the production team is just simply out of ideas, imagination and original, fresh creativity. It's like they recycled the previous movies and tried to pick the best action sequence from each to throw in here and muster some 'oohs...and aahs'. The atrocious dialogue is testament to that...and when the script boils down to a simple 'Rescue Alice' mission, it's a hugely demoralizing feel as a cinema-goer. This movie feels like it was written and directed...very lazily! The 3-D effects, much like the fight sequences, are shoddy at best and never seem near rousing. There's no jaw-dropping moment, no twist or turns...and nothing that adds value to the plot. This is one of the most mundane flicks ever...and I've seen better Saturday night SCYFY features than this. That says it all.



I think they thought they were making a trailer for a video-game because Anderson simply filled his movie, yet again, with style and no substance. If this is his and Milla's legacy, then who am I to bicker with the box-office bucks. Maybe the next film would resuscitate hope but Wesker's plans and Alice's attempt to foil the end of humanity leaves a convoluted ending that offers no resolution, but the same formulaic teaser that Anderson so gratuitously offers every single time. He even tried a 'Tom Cruise' move to make Alice more family-oriented, and that element fell flat on its face. If you like a barrage of wanton violence, no cohesive plot or acting, explosions and a flood of bodies and debris, a sigh that none of the movie's hot girls even do a nude scene to just make up for the crap in front your eyes and that dubstep feel when the cavalry comes to 'save the day'...then this just may be the film for you.

But me, I gave this the benefit of the doubt when I saw the players they were using this film around, and boy...was I shocked. I knew they could go bad...but they really went terrible with this film. The 'climactic ending' says it all...

Rating = F (and I use that letter loosely here)...
Cheers...here's looking toward Judge Dredd
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5 Comments
PsyGuy - 9/12/2012, 7:31 PM
Awww sucks.
The other fluff films are "bad" but entertaining in my opinion.

but MILLA is not to blame! She's a fantastic actress.
MisterMagurlypse - 9/12/2012, 8:13 PM
Nice review. I'm sure I'll redbox this one on a day when there's nothing on tv or anything else to rent. They're only getting a 2$bill outta me!!
luffycapri - 9/12/2012, 9:19 PM
Wait for it to come on stars
MasterApoc81 - 9/12/2012, 9:38 PM
wow..either your right or u just hate these people ....i use to throw up ...at these movies when alice was main character and not chris or jill....or for the fact that the actual video game storyline was thrown to the way side ......but after seeing these ..they start to grow on me a little and then i realized some things ....if u play resident evil 5 the game ...when ur in the ship ...it talks for twins ..a bro and sis (alice) who have bonded with the T-virus and that umbrella has been after them and their were abouts are unknown ......see when they started these franchise of movies ...they knew the needed a more modern touch ...which they did ...they couldnt go with the tradition zombie haunted house theme ...its been played out and turned into a joke .....(shaun of the dead, zombieland, dawn of the dead , ect..) you get the point so the steered away from it .....Everyone wanted nemesis ...they did a fairly good job on him ...just not enough killing fools .....and everyone one wanted wesker...we u know he is superhuman and if u throw chris or jill into reality in a fight with him ...with his full powers allowed ...it would be a close fight it be snap neck see ya in five seconds ...so u had to build a hero who could hypothectically have a chance to fight him and win ......so they use alice ...cause obviously not many female heroes around no probs there ......her acting is good in the movies ...plots have seemed a bit rushed but all in all they are fairly good movies ....and they r slowly tieing back in with the game franchise ...which is nice ....afterlife had a little bit of res 5 feel to it and so does the look of this .....my thing is they could refresh the franchise and keep the cast andf director ...simple have alice wake up and realize that the only thing that is real is that raccoon city was hit but contained and the world is still normal.....keep all the cast and she has woke up with her powers intact and they believe she is under their control and they been testing her incase things do get bad in simulations ..she thought was real ...but the people in those sims ...some were really good people that hacked the program to gain her trust like the redfields and barry barton and luther the rest is evil ...jill of course is under control and they could use the first game as a back drop when chris and alice talk and they explain how stars was on to umbrella ....and that they found this mansion in the woods and the original team was chris jill barry and wesker and how it all went down ...this ties the movie series and the video game series perfect into each other and they chris is been trying to stop wesker and need her help .....easy fix i must say
MarkJulian - 9/13/2012, 6:07 AM
Good review but please stop putting them under the news section.

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