How Superman and Lois Lane could conceive a child

It's a question that fan boys have argued over for years. How could Superman and Lois Lane have sex, let alone conceive a child? Both of these question will be answered when you hit the jump.

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By Shannon Cornthwaite - 5/30/2013
This debate has been going on for years and years. How could Superman and Lois Lane possibly conceive a child?

We all know that if Superman and Lois had sex, Kal's super sperm would blow a hole clean through sweet Lois' thinking cap and if by some chance it doesn't and a child were conceived, that baby would almost definitely kick a hole clean through old miss Lane's tummy. However, there are a few ways the two could conceive a child without putting Lois' safety at risk.

1: Superman could set a room in the Fortress to emit Red sun energy. This would completely strip Kal of his powers for as long as he stayed in the room, which for safety's sake would need to be at least 24 hours before doing the horizontal mambo with Lois. After this Lois would need to remain in the room for the entire period of her pregnancy.

2. Build a Fortress of Solitude on the Dark side of the moon with it's own atmosphere. The Dark side of the moon gets no sun light, and with Supes being a living solar battery, his powers would be gone after about 24 hours without Solar recharging. Of course this would mean that he'd have to leave poor Lois on the Moon for the duration of her pregnancy which is unacceptable and would also mean that in order for him to recharge his powers, he would need to use a spaceship to get back to Earth.

3. Kryptonians have obviously been to Earth before and know that humans are fragile in comparison to themselves. Obviously, Kal-El wouldn't be the first Kryptonian to fancy an Earthling so much they'd wanna get in their pants. Krypton is full of extremely intelligent scientists who could obviously develop a way for Kryptonians and Humans to not only do the dirty but also procreate. A device as simple as a wrist band could have been developed for both the human and Kryptonian to wear during intercourse. The Kryptonian's bracelet could suppress their powers while the human's bracelet could suppress the developing powers of any fetus growing inside them. For a Kryptonian scientist, this would be as simple to construct as a deep water suit for human scientists. With Jor-El sending his son to Earth, he would have surely known that eventually his little Kal would start getting hair in funny places and thinking of girls, so obviously he would have included a device like this in Kal's space ship when he shot him from Krypton.

4. Superman and Lois could simply ask Zatanna to cast a spell that would suppress Supe's powers when they got in the mood, and the same spell would affect any offspring Lois and Clark may conceive to the point where their powers are suppressed while in utero.

Now most of these answers take the assumption that Kryptonians begin developing their powers from the moment of conception. However, in many sources Kal-El's powers didn't develop until he reached puberty. If the latter is true of all Kryptonians, then obviously baby El would be as normal as a human while in Lois' tummy, which means there would be absolutely no need for Lois to remain on the Dark Side of the moon, in solitary confinement in the Fortress of Solitude, have a spell cast over her or even need to wear such a Kryptonian device to protect her.

If all else fails, there's always the approach that All Star Superman took. Turn Lois into Ultra Woman for 24 hours, so the two could have Superman sex and then let nature take it's course.

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24 Comments
Highflyer - 5/30/2013, 4:52 PM
Hmmmm... this is not your average editorial. :)
lanternstorm - 5/30/2013, 5:16 PM
?
AlexanderLykins - 5/30/2013, 5:42 PM
You just gave me another reason to not like Superman.
lanternstorm - 5/30/2013, 6:03 PM
Even if she did go back to when he was 8 or 9... it would be considered child rape... not to mention I think that would be a lil too controversial subject for DC to even think about a story like that.
Ocelot - 5/30/2013, 6:18 PM
Superman's sperm would overheat, overload and kill her, makes more sense for him to be able to have a child with Wonder Woman or Maxima
Knightrider - 5/30/2013, 6:23 PM
Yeah, I prefer that he can't have a child with her.

I think they did it in "The New Adventures of Superman" and I think it adds a better character dynamic to their relationship if he can't have a child with the pne person he loves the most.
lanternstorm - 5/30/2013, 6:24 PM
1. Superman and Supergirl are 1st cousins... that's another topic I'm sure DC wants to keep away from.

2. Superboy is half Kryptonian and half human in the comics which means it is possible (in comics) for a Kryptonian/ human child to be conceived of.

3. you're ideas are ... while creative... completely nightmarish and sickening.
KingNTheKong - 5/30/2013, 6:33 PM

@fangz
...
jessepostal - 5/30/2013, 7:31 PM
Why not just adopt :)
WYLEEJAY - 5/30/2013, 8:27 PM
Much simpler solution. She wears a necklace with red kryptonite while they get it on, and doesn't take it off until the babys born. This is the kind of crap we talk about when we're bored at work.
lanternstorm - 5/30/2013, 8:47 PM
red Kryptonite brings out a Kryptonian's inner inhibitions... ie... Superman becomes care free and self serving... but still has powers... So basically what you're saying WyleeJay is that you want a super powered Superman to Rape the dog crap out of Lois and then kill her.
lanternstorm - 5/30/2013, 8:48 PM
However, Blue Kryptonite would take his powers away... but for good... that would solve the Kryptonian/ human sex but not the powers part.
WYLEEJAY - 5/30/2013, 9:03 PM
Lmao! I thought it was the red! Sorry Lois!
FirstAvenger - 5/30/2013, 9:35 PM
This is weird.
ForeverPowerful - 5/30/2013, 9:43 PM
He could always have sex with her, destroy her body when he finishes, then reverse time so she'll be alive again.

Rinse and repeat. (That's what she said)
MalteseFalcon - 5/30/2013, 9:52 PM
okay a lot of thought went into this you weirdo
kenjim152 - 5/30/2013, 10:11 PM
They cannot have kids, it has been explained in the comics before, the only way they can do it is by cloning Lois's and CLark's DNA, the same way they did with superboy. Now having sex is a diferent story ..... I guess :S
tonytony - 5/31/2013, 2:13 AM
or he could hook up with wonder woman.
lanternstorm - 5/31/2013, 5:27 AM
@cervanewilson2345- who's weirder? me for writing it, or you for reading it?
johnblake - 5/31/2013, 9:36 AM
this argument is a waste of time. as is superman shaving. just make him and kryptonians compatible with humans. has anybody seen Dragonball Z? the sayians just can reproduce with humans, and they can cut their hair despite being impervious to any thing outside a kamehameha. i dont see why DC cant just do that. i know they have dragonball fans in their ranks.
lanternstorm - 5/31/2013, 11:13 AM
Ok, for those of you who think Clark and Lois should just adopt... how do you explain future time lines in which descendants of Superman and Lois take over the mantle of "The Man of Steel"?
NovaCorpsFan - 5/31/2013, 3:57 PM
Interesting... I didn't understand it because I know sweet [frick] all about Supes. But it was weird and interesting to read.
PeterBenjaminParker - 5/31/2013, 11:00 PM
Or you could just make a human/Kryptonian hybrid clone, like it's been done several times before...
tonytony - 6/1/2013, 9:18 AM
Or he could just hook up with wonder woman. He might need to go all the way to the fortress of solitude to have sex with her (earthquakes anyone :) ) but it beats lois lane

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