VIDEO: The Schmoes Review TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES

Mark and Kristian are big fans of the heroes in a half-shell, but what did they make of this latest reboot which has received a pretty sound thrashing from most critics? There's also a handy vid detailing the origins of all of the characters, just in case you need a refresher.

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By Mark "RorMachine" Cassidy - 8/12/2014





"The city needs heroes... Darkness has settled over New York City as Shredder and his evil Foot Clan have an iron grip on everything from the police to the politicians. The future is grim until four unlikely outcast brothers rise from the sewers and discover their destiny as Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. The Turtles must work with fearless reporter April and her wise-cracking cameraman Vern Fenwick to save the city and unravel Shredder’s diabolical plan."

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is directed by Jonathan Liebesman. It stars Megan Fox, Pete Ploszek, Noel Fisher, Jeremy Howard, Alan Ritchson, Danny Woodburn, William Fichtner, Will Arnett, Whoopi Goldberg and opens August 8.
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36 Comments
SuperCat - 8/12/2014, 5:12 AM
DoubleD - 8/12/2014, 5:13 AM
Critics got this movie right. 20% at Rotten Tomatoes is fair. This was a BAD movie all around. SUCKED
DoubleD - 8/12/2014, 5:14 AM
Watch it drop at the box office next weekend.
RorMachine - 8/12/2014, 5:24 AM
TMNT > TASM 2
TMNT > All of the Transformers movies
TMNT > the GI JOE Movies
GL - 8/12/2014, 5:33 AM
It wasn't that bad for a Nickelodian movie. It's just a popcorn flick which is what TMNT is for.
GL - 8/12/2014, 5:39 AM
This review is really accurate though. The movie had it's ups and downs. I don't think you can make a good TMNT movie that covers everything and adds character substinace within an hour and thirty minutes.
GL - 8/12/2014, 5:48 AM
That's cause it focused so much on the turtles unlike this one which is it's main downfall. But hopefully they realize that for the sequel.
Nitric - 8/12/2014, 5:53 AM
I could do a better review than these guys, with no singing lol. I thought it was great. Way better than anything else with bays signature on it lately. It wasn't guardians but it was fun. I look forward to the sequel.
Alien - 8/12/2014, 6:01 AM
Most importantly, it made GOTG drop to number deuce. BTW, movie was fun as hell, yo.
SpiderFraud - 8/12/2014, 6:03 AM
I can't wait for Michael Bay & Co to move up to my childhood.

Gargoyles might be in serious danger.

Unlike most silly 80's cartoons, Gargoyles shouldn't be just a "dumb popcorn movie".
RorMachine - 8/12/2014, 6:05 AM
They needed to drop the entire Sacks character (I'm a William Fictner fan but he was awful) and just have Shredder as the main bad guy, combining both characters' plans. If he needed some scientific know-how just throw Baxter Stockman in there, The need to link every character in movies these days is resulting in silly, plot hole ridden scripts.

Story aside though, the Turtles themselves were a success. And Fox was...ok as April. I think she did a decent job.
GL - 8/12/2014, 6:11 AM
That Baxter Stockman cameo was so weak. I was expecting something better like a name mention or something.
gurugeorge - 8/12/2014, 6:11 AM
If there's anybody in the movies who needs to be spirited away to somewhere quiet by shady MIBs, it's [frick]ing Michael Bay. Him and those two [foo foo]s who did the scripts for the Abrams Star Trek and Amazing Spider-Man 2. And those wankers who did the scripts for Prometheus. The world would be a much better place without such cretins.
batmanvsuperman - 8/12/2014, 6:18 AM
*hate
MakluIV - 8/12/2014, 6:19 AM
The original TMNT is still the best Turtles film and far, far superior than this michael bay trash.
MakluIV - 8/12/2014, 6:20 AM
johnny knoxville as Leo. smh *Facepalm
megabatfan - 8/12/2014, 7:31 AM
I totally agree with Ror.. I was more entertsined with this show than with TASM2. But great points from those i've read. William Fitchner's character was un-necessary. It should have been Baxter Stock.an in a smaller role, with Shredder as the big bad. The turtles were excellent, that was my main fear. I dont mind the altered origin, but learning ninjitsu from a book? Nawwww. So the original is still the best imo
Ramiel - 8/12/2014, 7:36 AM
The original TMNT movie is a classic. This movie, on the other hand, looks like rubbish.
KrazyForKomix - 8/12/2014, 7:46 AM
I'm not a "hater," but that doesn't mean I think this Ninja Turtle movie is good.
Besides, where's the funky goofy charm? These Ninja Turtles are f-n scary compared to the Jim Henson Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
LEOSTRATOR - 8/12/2014, 7:57 AM
Who cares if it's good or not, it's made for kids and my kids want to see this crap. Ok by me I guess.
BaneSmash - 8/12/2014, 8:01 AM
There's nothing like the smell of butthurt In the morning!
Maculis - 8/12/2014, 8:06 AM
I went to see the movie yesterday with my kids and I really, really enjoyed it. As did my kids. The only thing I'll say is, I still believe the TMNT animated movie from a couple of years ago was the best Turtles movie ever. It had so many possibilities, I really thought they should have saw it through with some sequels.
StarYeezus - 8/12/2014, 8:44 AM
@SuperCat

Haha, those kids look [frick]ing terrified.
CrimsonDynamo - 8/12/2014, 9:06 AM
In the words of Dave Chappelle - haters wanna hate, lovers wanna love
... Google the rest. TMNT was awesome. And in a couple years no one will remember GotG and the fascination with a topless Dave Bautista and trees and racoons will be a long forgotten memory.
sjoerdo0 - 8/12/2014, 9:21 AM
^
It wont
Tidaltree - 8/12/2014, 9:42 AM
@ SpiderFraud - 8/12/2014, 6:03 AM: I'd bet he'll be hired by Disney to do Gummi Bears first ;)

blakkvi2012 - 8/12/2014, 9:43 AM
People go into a theatre looking for perfection in everything. . My entire family enjoyed it and with some polish, hope the sequel can do much better.
Dandy - 8/12/2014, 11:15 AM
I am most familiar with the 2003 show which was really good, but I have never been a fan of any of the movies, including the CGI animated one.
monkeyballs - 8/12/2014, 11:21 AM
@RorMachine Saying that TMNT is better than both Joe movies, all 4 Transformers movies and Amazing Spiderman 2 (probably the 1st one as well) doesn't say much about TMNT. Those are all horrible movies. I suspect TMNT is horrible as well. It's in good company.
TMW1987ProudProWrestlingFan - 8/12/2014, 11:44 AM
It's not too bad, but not great either, it's basically a movie full of pros & cons whether you take in to account that it's a movie about talking Turtles & regardless of the age it is aimed at.


Pros:

Awesome fight scenes. The Splinter vs. Shredder fight in the sewer & the Turtles vs. Shredder at the end were awesome fight scenes, both enjoyable watches. As mentioned by other users, it's a shame there really isn't much connection or history between Splinter & Shredder because that fight was intense & with their history not being there kind of takes away from that fight now a little IMO.

The Turtles characterisation. Every Turtle is nailed on personality wise from the dialogue & the way they're acted by the voice cast, there was no need to go over the top in their appearance to make sure that Leo looked like the leader, Raph the hot Head, Mikey the surfer dude or Donnie the geek. Only thing I will say about Donnie's voicing, even though it nailed his character, they tried to make him sound TOO geeky, like, ridiculously in your face geeky at times. But besides that, personality traits were well done.

Shredder is an absolute Bad Ass.


Cons:

The reimagined origin & everything falling into place from one thing to the next via lots of COINSIDENCES, seriously, how many coincidences or ridiculous links can one movie have?! Talk about far fetched, this movie takes the biscuit!

How Splinter learns Ninjitsu & passes it on was just........ Well! Watch & see.

Turtles are still ugly as F*ck, I know I've said this a lot in most threads regarding the Turtles, but it's true & I'm sticking to it. Still think of & see Shrek when Mikey takes his Mask off.

The Foot Soldiers also look awfully horrible too, just didn't dig the military / terrorist looking theme. Karai was wasted & improperly portrayed. Needed the Ninja element & Hand to Hand / Ninja type weapons instead of Guns.

Megan Fox is a terrible April, she really is, nothing against her, but she brings nothing to the role, whilst I don't mind her in Transformers or even Jennifer's Body, she just tarnished this role & character. I really, really wish they had have gone with Anna Kendrick, like come on, it should have been a no brainer!

Fitchner is wasted here in his first outing, he really doesn't do much, but seeing as he's signed on for the sequels, I'm hoping they expand upon him more.

The story over all is weak throughout the film & the new origins really doesn't help matters either.

I can easily say this isn't as good as the original Turtles movie, nor do I even think it's as good as Secret of the Ooze (No matter how much hate or criticism you want to give that or slate Vanilla Ice), you can say that's just because of a nostalgia factor, but it really isn't.

If I was to rank the Turtles movies in order it would go.....

TMNT
TMNT: Secret of The Ooze
TMNT 2014
TMNT 2007 (OK, that's animated, but it's still a feature length)
TMNT 3

Like I say, didn't hate it, but didn't love it, liked a few parts of it & hated others.

Hopefully the sequel changes the look of both the Turtles & The Foot a little bit & we get a more solid story.

Looking forward to the sequel, but hope they can top this one by many miles & blow it out of the water. Especially seeing this is the first time that Dimension X, Bebop & Rocksteady are to be adapted to the big screen & first time anybody has taking a crack at them. I kinda want people on board with the sequel who gets that history or understands the 80's toon to adapt all of that stuff well.


I'm torn between giving this a 2.5 or 3 out of 5.
GabrielAndrade - 8/12/2014, 2:41 PM
The movie was awesome, I saw it with my brother and we both love it, to me its definitely a 4 out of 5, the action was amazing, the plot was decent, like it was simple and good to understand, all the actor were great, even Megan Fox was Ok, the turtles are there and this is the best part, all the family relation was great. Cant wait to see it again and for the sequel.
GabrielAndrade - 8/12/2014, 2:51 PM
Oh, and the cast from the turltes are perfect, to voice and moviments.
marvel72 - 8/12/2014, 5:22 PM
i'd give the turtles 1/5 it sucked apart from the fight scenes.
TMW1987ProudProWrestlingFan - 8/13/2014, 9:56 AM
I want whatever juice or drugs Gabriel is taking..... Especially to think Fox was even 'OK'.
SuperSpiderMan5778 - 8/13/2014, 12:15 PM
if you didn't like TMNT fawk you. it was pretty good.
OniGoji - 8/13/2014, 9:28 PM
Surprisingly, I found this movie to be pretty good and fun, it definitely had its cracks and weak points, but it has its own turtle charm that manages to make the movie and the turtles entertaining. And oddly enough, Megan Fox was kinda acceptable as April, in terms of passable performances. Overall I very much liked the film. It didn't turn out as bad as I thought it would.

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