A Review of J.J.Abram's SUPERMAN FLYBY

My Review of Draft 1 of the J.J. Abrams Superman Script

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By Robert Garlen - 6/12/2011
(NOTE: There are rumored to be better Drafts out of This Story, which i would love to read so if you guys have them i would very much appreciate a chance to read them.
Also images of Suit designs from both McG and Brett Ratners failed attempts will appear through out review in effort to make reading this a lot less painless)

SUPERMAN: FLYBY - DRAFT ONE - WRITTEN BY J.J. ABRAMS - REVIEW BY ROBERT GARLEN a.k.a. TheGoddamnSuperman

STORY: Young PRINCE KAL-EL is rocketed to Earth in an effort for Jor-El to allow Kal-El to fufill the prophecy of being the chosen Kryptonian to end a century old Civil War.
On Earth Kal-El is found by the KENTS a kindly couple who's hopes were to be parents. After surviving the years Kal-El now Clark Kent's life is shown through a series of scenes showcasing his life before Superman which leads right up to the moment he meets Lois Lane at a Metropolis College. All the while the young TY-ZOR Cousin to Clark Kent goes from Planet to Planet in search of his Cousin in hopes of killing him and crushing the war. When he arrives to Earth he discovers his Cousin has become SUPERMAN Earth's greatest protector and the two engage in a battle for the Earth it self.

Now the story as you know isn't the most faithful for a Superman reboot.
While it is well written it does not treat superman fans well. Going as far as changing Jor-El from a scientist to a KING, Krypton from being a destroyed planet into a planet controlled by Civil War.

Sufficiant to say this is NOT a well written SUPERMAN Script. Superman albiet present as SUPERMAN is well represented if you can get past his origin it actually plays well as a Superman Film. But it's a tough thing to swallow and i know Superman Purist would vomit at the origin.

The story past the origin is interesting, finally putting Superman against a foe who isn't General Zod (But it could easily have been) and not Nuclear "MAN" Made. But the fights are large and often epic in style.

SUPERMAN faces his cousin 3 times, One time about midway in the film where he first lands, A second time closer to the end. and a Third time after having died by overexposer to Kryptonite (Yes a Kryptonian Bad Guy uses KRYPTONITE and this develops a plot hole i'll talk about later)

But there is fights, even lil'Clark gets into a fight with the Kent's Rapist Landlord. This does well to expose the kind of dark and evil people who live in society. And the villains are interesting even though C.I.A. Dr. Lex Luthor is a Kryptonian(Pretty much think Hector Hammond from GL but Kryptonian instead of big headed psychic).

So as for the story for a Superman film: 5/10.
But the score for this as an Original sci-fi film would be a: 10/10

This film would have been amazing if it were an original story and not Superman related. It would've been a new Sci-Fi series that would attract all medium of Fans but sadley this is not the case.

CHARACTERIZATION:

Superman is Superman, Clark Kent isn't much of a bumbling fool but closer to the John Byrne styled Investigative Reporter, sure he starts out nice and timid but this allows for his character to build and really grow.

Lois Lane is pretty much the way she is in the books, strong willed and very intense.

Jimmy Olsen, the young photographer who is mentioned as having a Brooklyn accent and being a homosexual. While the change doesn't actually bug or infuriate me, it's not really Jimmy Olsen, sure this character is a fun character to read, and would be a great basis for an original character this is Superman's (gal)pal.

Perry White is again the old veteran of the paper business we know and love.

C.I.A DR. LEX LUTHOR: Again basically Hector Hammond if he were a Kryptonian

Ty-Zor, His character reminded me lots of General Zod which with a creative re-write he pretty much could have been, His character resemble him alot with the difference being he comes off alot like Loki from the Thor Film and moves with that kind of ambiance that Tom Hiddleston did. He's interesting as a villain but still could've been given a comic book villains name instead of being a new character.

The Kents, the Kents are the Kents not much to say, you do feel bad when Jonathan does die. and it has a great effect on Clark which gives the story more heart.

King Jor-El, Not the same character he actually seems kinda like a combination of King Randor and He-Man with Jor-El's name. If you think he's anything like the character in the comics then you and i read him two different ways.

Kata-Zor, Jor-El's evil brother which is a new character (i say that due to the change between Kata-Zor, and Jor-El's Comic Book Brother Zor-El) He's given a very emporer palpatine like role. But instead of wanting Supes to be evil, he just wants him dead. He's not in it much but is a very enjoyable character to read and has a very dark and menacing presence to him

Any way the characters for the most part act as they're suppose to so i give the charactization a fair 6/10
Srill if this were an original story it would get a much better score of 8/10

WRITING: the story is well written and does do well describing action and giving enough details for freedom to fill in. It works well in it's own way but not as a Superman Film. Past the origin and the problematic ending where Superman dies by Kryptonite Poisining but then returns and at the end Goes back to Krypton to rule it (i didn't get it, if hes vulnerable to Kryptonite, wouldn't going back kill him? why is he vulnerable to it in the first place?)

Being as that may as a Superman Script the writing gets a: 5/10
as an original script ignoring it was ever ment for superman it gets a Solid: 9/10

All in all it's a great read has well paced action, well written character and heart. This is an intellegent but also fun Script. IF it were never a Superman movie i would say it's a shame this wasn't made.

JJ if you're reading this, change the characters, re-write the main character to another planet and change it to make it different from Superman, you got a Great start to the next great American Sci-Fi Franchise, RUN WITH IT!!!
Source: Robert Garlen
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9 Comments
Amazo - 6/13/2011, 6:31 AM
Ok.Lost me already on the first sentence'Young PRINCE KAL-EL is rocketed to Earth in an effort for Jor-El to allow Kal-El to fufill the prophecy of being the chosen Kryptonian to end a century old Civil War'
Can't stand anymore 'chosen ones'.Its lazy bollocks.As for making him a prince,bollocks again! The idea that the only reason he's special is because he's a)Royal and b)'The chosen one' belittles his heroism.Superman works because under the suit,beyond his powers(that any Kryptonian on Earth would posess),he's an everyday guy.THAT's what makes him special.A hero.That he cares simply because of who he is.
TheLight - 6/13/2011, 8:53 AM
@Amazo

Yeah, the whole prince of Krypton thing was really lazy. Superman is the hero that he is because he chooses to use his powers for good, not because of some royal linage. The whole "Choosen One" deal has been done to the brink of extinction! He just an average guy with an alien history who's been raised by humans to protect the world that has protected him.
mastarockafella - 6/13/2011, 12:11 PM
This is blasphemy to the man of steel. Prince Kal-el WTF!
blackcelebration - 6/13/2011, 12:31 PM
Sorry, but I've read this script before and it sucks more than Superman Returns (And that says something). It has nothing to with Superman and just think The Phantom Menace and people walking around for hours doing nothing, and lame dialogue, and that's what you have.

Yes, there's more action than Returns and Superman punches something, but the reason this is worse is that this is all we get, and then some sucky Kryptonian chosen one rubbish (Again Phantom Menace anyone) that completely defeats the purpose of Superman.

Although Returns sucked, at least it had some character moments, and a good idea, but admittingly poor execution. This just seemed like some of its time Summer blockbuster, that would have been forgotten (Hopefully) as soon as it was released.

Thank goodness JJ Abrams improved his script writing talents by the time he did the Star Trek reboot though.
blackcelebration - 6/13/2011, 12:31 PM
Sorry, but I've read this script before and it sucks more than Superman Returns (And that says something). It has nothing to with Superman and just think The Phantom Menace and people walking around for hours doing nothing, and lame dialogue, and that's what you have.

Yes, there's more action than Returns and Superman punches something, but the reason this is worse is that this is all we get, and then some sucky Kryptonian chosen one rubbish (Again Phantom Menace anyone) that completely defeats the purpose of Superman.

Although Returns sucked, at least it had some character moments, and a good idea, but admittingly poor execution. This just seemed like some of its time Summer blockbuster, that would have been forgotten (Hopefully) as soon as it was released.

Thank goodness JJ Abrams improved his script writing talents by the time he did the Star Trek reboot though.
BobGarlen - 6/13/2011, 1:42 PM
@blackcelebration JJ Didn't write the Star Trek reboot, it was written by transformers writers Bob Orci and Alex Kurtzman, I think that this is a shitty Superman movie but if it had removed it self from being anything Superman, then it could have been one hell of a sci-fi series, again i say its a shame this has Superman's name it could've been something on it's own.

I would've like to see Abrams direct the current reboot with the Goyer script but I'll take Zack Snyder
Knightstalker - 6/13/2011, 8:14 PM
What is it with every hack writer taking a crack at destroying Superman? Just stop it, okay?
JM4Superman - 6/14/2011, 11:32 AM
http://www.comicbookmovie.com/fansites/UltimateSuperman/news/?a=39421
denotsip - 6/16/2011, 5:34 PM
i will watch it anyways. and like it

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