New STAR WARS: TPM 3D Trailer Is The Funniest/Most Depressing Thing Of All Time

This new trailer gleefully focuses on the more childish elements of George Lucas's much maligned first movie in his Star Wars prequel trilogy. I don't know whether to laugh or cry. Be warned, you can't un-see it!..

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By Mark "RorMachine" Cassidy - 2/1/2012


I almost have to admire the stones on this trailer. It's as if Lucas and co are saying: "Oh you hate the movie? Watch THIS". The voice-over sounds more like a fan parody than an actual official trailer narration (which I assure you it is). Anyway, 10 years old or under? You may enjoy the movie when it opens everywhere Feb 10th. Then again, you may not.









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luckylu - 2/1/2012, 3:25 PM
i have now signed up for therapy
Dmon - 2/1/2012, 3:28 PM
LOL Star Wars is dead. Let it rest in peace.
kylum616 - 2/1/2012, 3:30 PM
oh for the love [frick] cant these pricks stop ruining this franchise i swear im going to find goerge lucas and chop his nuts of >:(
Dechiriko - 2/1/2012, 3:30 PM
come on, this is adorable.
AlexdoxA - 2/1/2012, 3:31 PM
I think I'd prefer to watch a Justice League movie being made with Clooney's Batman, Reynolds' GL, and Cage's Supes
MrRogers - 2/1/2012, 3:34 PM
Take out jar jar and the kid from jingle all the way and the movie would have been awesome. Liam Nelson was amazing and Darth maul was badass even though he had 2 lines. But yeah that trailer was horrible.
sosa4693 - 2/1/2012, 3:35 PM
AlexdoxA thats depressing and hilarious at the same time
RorMachine - 2/1/2012, 3:36 PM
What annoys me most about this is, no matter what excuses Lucas and co want to throw our way about these movies "being for kids", they most certainly are NOT. There is a big difference between your movie being aimed at kids and being [frick]ing silly. I mean even actual children's movies don't insult their audiences intelligence. Many kids movies are still smart and engaging. Fans of the prequels claim we take them too seriously because they are kids movies and yet have scenes of child slaughter, implied rape, beheadings etc, as well as boring as senate scenes that kids would be bored of in minutes.
DividedIStand80 - 2/1/2012, 3:36 PM
This franchise is played out - boring.
ejkousc - 2/1/2012, 3:36 PM
This is gona be rad. See all you haters in line all the same at midnight. For you haters of actual conviction who stay away - good - more Darth Maul 3d glasses for me.
NeoBaggins - 2/1/2012, 3:37 PM
If there was any sick and twisted Lucas programming left in my body to get me to see this, it just died completely. Thanks, Mark; I'm free. I'm really, really free now. Douche commentator nailed it for me. I thought I was listening to a cereal commercial on cartoon network, narrated by Casey Kasem's retarded son.
DividedIStand80 - 2/1/2012, 3:39 PM
George Lucas still thinks that this is cool and relevant. Senile old bastard!!
OdinsBeard - 2/1/2012, 3:44 PM
at least we have our precious CMBs.

Star Wars is dead. Long live Star Wars
siggisuperman - 2/1/2012, 3:45 PM
I vomited a little into my mouth....
OdinsBeard - 2/1/2012, 3:47 PM
NeoBaggins@ "I'm free. I'm really, really free now"

poetic. somber. boy, its a weird feeling isn't it...

Durranto - 2/1/2012, 3:47 PM
Sounds like it was narrated by Randal from Clerks, kept expecting him to go into the Death Star scenario or recommending you go to a donkey show instead....
PantherX - 2/1/2012, 3:49 PM
I was actually considering to go and watch this in cinemas for some reason. So, in a way, I'm grateful for having seen that atrocity. No thank-you!
marvelRNo1 - 2/1/2012, 3:57 PM
this is so bad it actually makes me wish the original star wars had never been made.that way my mind wouldnt have just been raped.
gdarmo - 2/1/2012, 4:01 PM
Tonight I have seen Yoda playing with a smartphone on a vodafone ad, then I read the star wars TV series will involve time travel, then I see this... I'm starting to think the American Akira, and Watchmen prequels are a good idea, how can they frick up those worse than Lucas has to SW?
DCwanabe - 2/1/2012, 4:03 PM
Lucas should have shifted to television sooner, The Clone Wars is awesome
its the perfect place for him to try his ideas and with 22 hours of content a year
You get some silly stuff but Lucas's good storytelling is able to shine still.

Lucas tried out some new stuff in these movies and no it was not awesome but its change change.
I think he is finding that television is a better medium for the type of story telling he wants to do.
These movies are a transition stage I am glad it knocked all you jokers off the star wars bandwagon.
Christuffer - 2/1/2012, 4:04 PM
....I'm actually one of the rare people who liked the prequels. This looks cool though, I like that they are clearly still confident in their franchise.

@ejkousc - seriously? They have Darth Maul 3D glasses? I'm most certainly going now, holy shit I want some
Christuffer - 2/1/2012, 4:05 PM
@DCwanabe - You make a fantastic point. I'm glad all the non-true fans fell off too.

But I still like the prequels...so...yeah :P
Mk616 - 2/1/2012, 4:05 PM
CG suckfest!!!!!!
TinyBirdcage - 2/1/2012, 4:06 PM
This is terrible. I want to take this seriously. I don't want the Sith taking over to sound fun. People die. This would've worked for Star Tours.
EtriganTheDemon - 2/1/2012, 4:08 PM
Kids are going to bawl when Qui-Gon gets mercked

this trailer sucks, but its for kids, I'm sure we'll have a better one
sexfoodcomics - 2/1/2012, 4:10 PM
That commercial was obviously on a kids network. Also, I think Fox realizes that hardcore fans will not see this movie, they know that little kids though love it, so they are advertising for the kids, not us.
OnLeatherWings - 2/1/2012, 4:10 PM
ughhh...i want to like it, i want to think that it will be good, i want to think itll be worth seeing, but the fact that its 3D makes me wana shoot myself. i may see the origional trilogy though. i dont think every theater has it in 3D though????
PoPcornDude - 2/1/2012, 4:11 PM
this trilogy of "Prequels" are the most

OVERRATED
IDIOTIC
BOOOORING
and
DREADFUL !!!

movies I've ever seen, I can't believe I paid to see this in theater when they first came out...

I wanna a REFUND !!!
DCwanabe - 2/1/2012, 4:12 PM
@Fartman, thanks man.

I am not praising everything lucas does but I try to look at the big picture these movies are an evolution, no one likes change and no one gives the current things lucas does a chance. I am exited for the future of star wars. The story telling and depth to the clone wars is really taking off it makes normal television look awful.

The future tv show has great potential and this new star wars I get to see every week is amazing the fans now are tight knit and positive, not whiny like most. Its an exiting time to be a star wars fan.

If anything these prequels are a celebration of a time where we got rid of the excess fat in our ranks. LOL. For those who are open minded some great new stories await us. Lucas did not loose his touch and he still has entertaining stories to tell.
PoPcornDude - 2/1/2012, 4:17 PM
I saw this somehwere:

In this video: How to Make a Horrible movie seem even WORSE !!!

LMFAO !
RorMachine - 2/1/2012, 4:18 PM
"If anything these prequels are a celebration of a time where we got rid of the excess fat in our ranks"

If by "excess fat" you mean people who can admit when a movie sucks then you're right. I'm not done with Star Wars at all, I enjoy The Clone Wars now and again and I'm looking forward to seeing what the show is like. But nobody will ever convince me that, a few sparse moments aside, those prequels weren't the most disappointing movies in the history of cinema. Whenever I give them stick people get angry like I'm insulting them personally! I'm not telling anyone they can't like them, I'm merely saying that if you do, you like a few bad movies:)
BigK1337 - 2/1/2012, 4:19 PM
Wait, haven't I seen this movie before?

Seriously, I remember as a kid watching this; and when the sequel Attack of the Clones came out, I said that that film was a bigger improvement compare to the Phantom Menace (especially with all the Clone Wars related shows and games that tie to that one film).

Still, who would be dumb enough to go pay to sse the same film cause it is in 3D . . . . . okay, admitly, I did that with the Lion King but than again that is a better film than Phantom Menace.

@TheBostomBatman
Agreed; BRING ON THE ADAPTION OF STAR WARS JEDI KNIGHT!!!!!
Dmon - 2/1/2012, 4:19 PM
@TheBostonBatman LOL

Star Wars is dead. Long live Star Trek!!
DCwanabe - 2/1/2012, 4:22 PM
@TheBostonBatman

I am not saying that the prequels are a masterpiece. I think the music scoring only improved upon the already perfect original series scoring. Yes elements were silly like jar jar and awkward romance, episode two was by far the least enjoyable star wars film.

The prequels kept star wars going and expanded the story, and it is still going and improving every year. I look at the prequels with the same fondness I did as a kid growing up, I have a new perspective now but I am stil greatful to the prequels for bringing the star wars story to the place it is right now.
DCwanabe - 2/1/2012, 4:36 PM
@RorMachine

I was attempting some humor. Maybe it was too insulting. Apologies.

I don't take offense to your article you are much nicer to the prequels than most. I think there is so much to make fun of about star wars, no story is perfect and I can understand that people hate the prequels. I disliked episode two. Also the ewoks will forever be the part of episode 6 I frown upon.

I am not saying that those who hate the prequels cannot still enjoy star wars I just think that those who gave up on star wars are missing out on a story that has continued to grow and improve.

Mistakes can be learned from and they have been in my opinion. I try not to judge what some would call 6 hours of mistakes, when I see the other 50+ hours of star wars content as a success.
CaptainObvious - 2/1/2012, 4:36 PM
It sounds just like one of those trailers from South Park.

"Whatever, you'll see it anyway, [frick] you."
CaptainObvious - 2/1/2012, 4:38 PM
Seriously though, I couldn't make it through the first 30 seconds.
ejkousc - 2/1/2012, 4:48 PM
@PoPcornDude - How can the prequels be the most overrated movies ever if the general consensus is that they're shitty? You might want to look up the meaning of "overrated"

Sad you guys are confusing this dumb TV spot for the movie itself. You're not paying to see this lame spot. You're paying to see the movie. BTW it's because of assholes like you I wont go to the midnight show cause I dont want to be surrounded by trite cliche fanboys heckling at all the same moments. Just shut the eff up and watch the film. I'll be going to see it with regular people even though I'm a bigger SW fan than anyone on this board.
RunDTC - 2/1/2012, 4:53 PM
I'm not an alcoholic but I'm now planning on it.
Mentok - 2/1/2012, 4:55 PM
I always jump in to defend Lucas and the franchise but this time, I must pass. Baby Anakin and Jar-Jar are the main focus of the trailer! What the hell where they thinking?!

I had that feeling in my stomach, a feeling I didn't experience since the SW Holyday Special...
RorMachine - 2/1/2012, 4:58 PM
DCwanabe, well fair play for remaining optimistic. At least you can acknowledge the faults while still enjoying em, and not freak out at people who can't like ejkousc. Like I said they have their moments, particular ROTS, but just not enough. It's not even really all the silly stuff..which I hate, but don't ruin a movie alone. They just don't make any damn sense to me! The actual story just doesn't flow like it was thought out for more than 10 minutes before being written. And the acting is just awfu..AHHHH, not getting into it. I'm actually planning a revisit soon so I'll go into detail then..I'll be as impartial and fair as possible!
TurdFergunson - 2/1/2012, 4:58 PM
HUGE SPOILER AT 1:21 MARK!!!!
ejkousc - 2/1/2012, 5:02 PM
@RorMachine - How am I freaking out at people who cant enjoy it? I dont care if you dont enjoy it. What I resent is you yahoos loudly trying to ruin it out loud for everyone else. You guys hate this movie and hate people who love it or even like it. And I cant advise a father to take a son to this movie with people like you shouting obsenities about Lucas.
RorMachine - 2/1/2012, 5:08 PM
"BTW it's because of assholes like you I wont go to the midnight show cause I dont want to be surrounded by trite cliche fanboys heckling at all the same moments. Just shut the eff up and watch the film"

Um, that's a freak out dude. Did I say I don't like people who like it? Am I trying to ruin it for anyone? Nope. I'm just calling it how I see it. They suck.
Dmon - 2/1/2012, 5:16 PM
Hey Star Wars Fans Spock says "Live Long and Suck it!" LOL

ejkousc - 2/1/2012, 5:17 PM
Yeah that's not a freal out. Its me "calling it as I see it". You're run of the mill SW hating fan boy (see CBM.com) is 1) trite in their opinions 2) cliche in their opinions and 3) Are bound to go to the movie just so they can heckle it together. Just watch the film and silently hate it. Who cares. And I dont read your responses unless they are addressing me so I wouldn't know what you say about TPM supporters.
mstaley3000 - 2/1/2012, 5:18 PM
@DCwanabe - Lucas no longer tells stories, he creates merchandising opportunities.
Godzillafart - 2/1/2012, 5:22 PM
Wait...is that real?
theangrytroll - 2/1/2012, 5:23 PM
Christ, this site is effin' pathetic now. Can't have one single article without these losers spewing their tired, cliched hatred yet again. Course, it doesn't help matters any when the "article" is titled and written to egg on the jerkoffs. So sad what this place has become...
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