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2 Hilarious Clips From Dario Argento’s DRACULA 3D

I have a lot of respect for Argento and his early work so I don't want to come down too hard on this, but it looks pretty bad I'm afraid. Anyway, check out these clips and decide for yourselves, but be warned, one is most definitely NSFW..

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By Mark "RorMachine" Cassidy - 11/7/2012
The clips are dubbed over in Italian, so that doesn't help matters..



WARNING: This clip contains boobs



Argento has always been an acquired taste but this really does look like amateur hour. Still, it might be worth seeing for the "so bad it's good" factor I guess.Dracula 3D stars Thomas Kretschmann, Marta Gastini, Rutger Hauer, Asia Argento, Miguel Angel Silvestre and Miriam Giovanelli. FC Films has got a hold of the rights and will release it under the IFC Midnight label in 2013.







Source: Via Bloody Disgusting
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40 Comments
BattlinMurdock - 11/7/2012, 7:53 PM
Still a better love story than Twilight.
bls91183 - 11/7/2012, 7:57 PM
f u mark anything with fangs and tits is.. well.. tits.
Nick56 - 11/7/2012, 8:01 PM
that was [frick]in hilarious
Whovian - 11/7/2012, 8:02 PM
Its so sad to see a great talent fall. Avoid this one and go watch Suspiria instead.
RunDTC - 11/7/2012, 8:03 PM
did Tea get banned? he hasn't commented in like a week.
santoanderson - 11/7/2012, 8:04 PM
fettastic - 11/7/2012, 8:05 PM
Dario Dario Dario...wherefore art thou Dario?

What the hell were the best horror directors of teh 80's smoking that completely fried all their brains? Romero, Carpenter, Hooper, Dante, Argento...they were GODS! And then they inexplicably turned to complete and utter shit.

Only Raimi survived, and he mostly stayed away from horror.
ElBicho - 11/7/2012, 8:10 PM
I skipped to the beeeeeewbs clip first. Didn't even realize it was in spanish...
DioFoRio - 11/7/2012, 8:12 PM
Can't wait for this..hear ti's a train wreck!!!
GetsugaTensho22 - 11/7/2012, 8:12 PM
That was the most hilarious thing i've seen all week!
WelcomeBackFrank - 11/7/2012, 8:13 PM
I've seen week old turds better than this.
DioFoRio - 11/7/2012, 8:15 PM
!Ror...you should really re-TITle the second clip.."this clip contains a set of great boobs"
AlexRival - 11/7/2012, 8:15 PM
THIS is what they're promoting it with? Is this the best they have?
LoudLon - 11/7/2012, 8:19 PM
I'm a big Argento fan but his best days are definitely behind him. The last truly exceptional flick he made was Opera in '87. Trauma in '93 had its moments and Stendhal Synrome in '96 was an interesting departure, but every film he's made since Opera -- Phantom of the Opera, Sleepless, The Card Player, Mother of Tears and Yellow -- all have been massively, massively disappointing. That's a lot of flops over the last twenty years but I can't help but keep rooting for the guy, hoping he'll someday recapture what made his output in the 70s and 80s so memorable.

But it doesn't look like this flick will be the one to do it. :/
FoxForce5 - 11/7/2012, 8:32 PM
@ fettastic & LoudLon: what can I say? You guys already made most of my points. I mean, I'm sure there'll probably be a hot soft-core scene or two with Asia (and maybe another chick) which will be made creepy by the knowledge that her father was there directing here but other than that, it looks like it'll just be a bad mimic of an old Hammer film like "The Vampire Lovers" or something. I know I'll watch it but probably to laugh and crack jokes at with some friends and some beers. Kind of a shame, really but I guess I'm done for now.
Mercwitham0uth - 11/7/2012, 8:54 PM
WARNING! Clip #2 contains bewbs...... BEWBS!!!! YES! THE ONES WITH THE NIPPLES!!!!!
















BEWBS!!!!!!!!!!!!
SageMode - 11/7/2012, 9:13 PM
What the [frick] did I just watch?
Mendenhall12 - 11/7/2012, 9:17 PM
Well the woman found my weakness.
BenderDickCumPatch - 11/7/2012, 10:22 PM
I AM GOING TO LAUGH MY ASS OFF.
coopshep39 - 11/7/2012, 10:34 PM
yaay boobs
RIKSHAWRenegade - 11/8/2012, 12:41 AM
This looks bad. Nice though. The boobs I meen. LOL!!!
pepe - 11/8/2012, 12:48 AM
Hmmm.... boobs... and its going to be in 3D...
loki668 - 11/8/2012, 2:37 AM
@Ror
It's okay. I'll come down on this for you. This looks like the kind of film that Uwe Boll would look at and say "at least I never made THAT!". If I was Asia Argento, I would use this film as an excuse to cut all ties with my family. Then again, it's not like she's making amazing films right now, either. It's films like this that caused Brett Ratner to go into directing. I bet the "Fans' Edition Blu-Ray" will just be the opening and closing credits. And, finally......this film couldn't be more of a farce if it was starring Leslie Nielsen.

Lord Loki has spoken
Rowsdower - 11/8/2012, 4:13 AM
Hard to believe this is the version of Dracula we're getting from the guy who gave us SUSPIRIA.
DrRockso - 11/8/2012, 4:32 AM
What Dionysios said.
Maia87 - 11/8/2012, 4:41 AM
MEH. It looks like a Fan film with a low budget.
jj2112 - 11/8/2012, 5:23 AM
Pah that's nothing compared to Italian Spider-man
SimpleObserverOfThings - 11/8/2012, 5:23 AM
This looks like an upscale porn vampire movie...lol
sarahsatire - 11/8/2012, 5:37 AM
Well we all gotta go senile sometime. Dario just happened to do it when he made this POS. Still, i'm never above a cheesy horror flick. Mystery Science Theater FTW.
BackwardGalaxy - 11/8/2012, 6:44 AM
At least they're very nice bewbs.
jimoakley666 - 11/8/2012, 6:55 AM
Nice. Boobs.
fettastic - 11/8/2012, 7:02 AM
In fairness, if you haven't seen Two Evil Eyes, it was the last gasp of greatness from both Argento and Romero.
DetBullock - 11/8/2012, 8:28 AM
@sarahsatire: he became senile before this one, all agree with this.
In Italy fans here do not agree when exactly, some trace his descending curve to the mid-90s, others instead to the last three film he made.
DetBullock - 11/8/2012, 8:29 AM
But always well before this rubbish anyway.
TurdFergunson - 11/8/2012, 10:01 AM
Rorrrr!!!! Rorrrrr!!!! haha
fettastic - 11/8/2012, 10:52 AM
I agree the last good film he made was The Opera (or Terror at the Opera as it was released here in the US).

His next film after that was The Devil's Daughter and that was pretty crappy.

But again, he had a moment of his old brilliance with Two Evil Eyes, then right back into the shitter.

Oh wait, there was that Masters of Horror episode he did, I forgot about that. What was it called? "Jennifer" or something like that? It was also pretty good.
PapaMidnight - 11/8/2012, 10:56 AM
Hey Ror, don't be afraid! The campy factor is clearly purposeful, live Verhoeven did in 'Showgirls'. Face it as Dario's aesthetic 'exercise'! XD
fceeviper - 11/8/2012, 11:10 AM
I would watch this crappy film just for those boobs!
Boogie138 - 11/8/2012, 12:12 PM
argento's less than stellar film are still a blast to watch! even in his best film there have been ham acting and questionable effects. one of my person favs is stendal syndrome and it is a wonderfully flawed movie. you enjoy the good and the bad. its one of my wife's favorites too.

even deep red (my personal fav) has groan moments. its part of itallian horror. i'll be seeing this. will be be argento's best? hardly. better than almost every american horror movie i have sat thru in a while. i would put money on it. this will be goofy and fun. thats ok with me.
VaCubFan - 11/8/2012, 2:00 PM
i believe the UK term is "shite"? no?

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