Everything Wrong With Peter Jackson's THE HOBBIT: DESOLATION OF SMAUG

In just under fifteen-minutes Cinema Sins points out everything that was wrong with Peter Jackson's fantasy-adventure film, The Hobbit: Desolation of Smaug. Come check it out.

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By nailbiter111 - 4/17/2014


 
The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug continues the adventure of the title character Bilbo Baggins as he journeys with the Wizard Gandalf and thirteen Dwarves, led by Thorin Oakenshield, on an epic quest to reclaim the Lonely Mountain and the lost Dwarf Kingdom of Erebor. Having survived the beginning of their unexpected journey, the Company continues East, encountering along the way the skin-changer Beorn and a swarm of giant Spiders in the treacherous forest of Mirkwood. After escaping capture by the dangerous Wood-elves, the Dwarves journey to Lake-town, and finally to the Lonely Mountain itself, where they must face the greatest danger of all - a creature more terrifying than any other; one which will test not only the depth of their courage but the limits of their friendship and the wisdom of the journey itself - the Dragon Smaug. Ian McKellen returns as Gandalf the Grey, with Martin Freeman in the central role of Bilbo Baggins, and Richard Armitage as Thorin Oakenshield. The international ensemble cast is led by Benedict Cumberbatch, Evangeline Lilly, Lee Pace, Luke Evans, Ken Stott, James Nesbitt, and Orlando Bloom as Legolas. The film also stars (in alphabetical order) John Bell, Manu Bennett, Jed Brophy, Adam Brown, John Callen, Ryan Gage, Mark Hadlow, Peter Hambleton, Stephen Hunter, William Kircher, Lawrence Makoare, Sylvester McCoy, Graham McTavish, Dean O'Gorman, Mikael Persbrandt, and Aidan Turner.
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JDUKE25 - 4/17/2014, 9:35 AM
I was bored silly through most of the movie.
NinjaKickTheDamnRabbit - 4/17/2014, 9:41 AM
Enjoyed it more then the first Hobbit movie. Three should be decent.
GodzillaKart - 4/17/2014, 9:49 AM
I've been critical of some of Jackson's choices in LOTR...but DESOLATION OF SMAUG was complete and utter shit.
maninfinesuit - 4/17/2014, 9:49 AM
Did they make sure they included the biggest problem?

cipher - 4/17/2014, 9:49 AM
Mike89 - 4/17/2014, 9:53 AM
liked this one better than "An Unexcpected journey".

Cant wait for "There and back again".
SauronsBANE1 - 4/17/2014, 9:54 AM
Obviously the video was just fun nitpicking, but man they really could've torn this film apart even more than they did.

What a bloated, illogical, overlong mess of a movie. Even worse than the 1st one, which I didn't think was possible. I honestly can't fathom how some people actually prefer these movies over the LotR (which had more than its fair share of flaws too).
IM53 - 4/17/2014, 9:54 AM
80s yearbook photo: 80s 80s.jpg
GodzillaKart - 4/17/2014, 9:56 AM
@cipher: Bwahahahaha! No responses?
Ipitythefool - 4/17/2014, 9:57 AM
Shit flick. It made Smaug look like a bitch.
GodzillaKart - 4/17/2014, 10:00 AM
@SauronsBANE1: I agree! after sucking for 2 hours, it reached its peak when Smaug was chasing the Dwarves around the mountain. I really couldn't stop imagining the Benny Hill music playing.
SauronsBANE1 - 4/17/2014, 10:06 AM
@Godzillafart, Haha I know! It's like Peter Jackson has mandated that each Hobbit movie so far MUST have a Benny Hill sequence.

The first movie had the idiotic Radaghast literally go around in circles on his ridiculous bunny sled (I still can't believe sometimes that we were given a movie, taking place in Middle-earth, where wizards ride around in BUNNY SLEDS. Dear God...) in an attempt to lead the Orcs and Wargs away. Seriously, there's even YouTube videos of that edited with the Benny Hill music, it's hilarious!

The second movie has the completely off-the-rails 3rd act, which I'm still trying to figure out what happened. The extremely weird sequence with the Dwarven forges, complete with Dwarves literally flying through the air and landing on Smaug's snout and somehow surviving, melting all that gold in order to make a statue...which Smaug inexplicably becomes entranced by, just long enough for it to melt and NOT kill him...? Seriously, WTF
pesmerga44 - 4/17/2014, 10:07 AM
My favorite part of the video was the Bombur's crazy barrel ride adventure mini game and how he said "Everything this sequence is, and stands for." That is exactly how I felt when I first watched this movie I sat there with my mouth wide open and in complete shock at what I was watching.
LEEE777 - 4/17/2014, 10:15 AM
A LOT.. it just seemed the movie was made with no start or ending that looked like a live-action SHREK movie, oh wait :p
GodzillaKart - 4/17/2014, 10:15 AM
@SauronsBANE1: "Seriously, there's even YouTube videos of that edited with the Benny Hill music, it's hilarious!"

Really?! Holy Shit, googling right now.
riseofloganX36 - 4/17/2014, 10:34 AM
I love every bot of it I loved the first movie and I loved the second even more. Great FX smauge looked amazing and was dead on from the books.

I loved it peter Jackson nailed the shit out of it yet again and the third is ganna blow me away also they are ganna be great prequels to lord of the rings. You all are a bunch of winning lil britches crying in your popcorn about the same old shit!

Oh quick remake it have Webb do it and he'll make everyone black and not hobbits then mebey you people will stop bitching. You all act like you know what your talking about but alot of you talk with your head up your asses.

NUFF said BUB!
Ramiel - 4/17/2014, 10:35 AM
The CGI in this movie, to me, was horrible. Smaug looked awesome though. The barrel scene was fun.
delatour - 4/17/2014, 10:39 AM
The worst part of this shit movie. is that for the "most perilous adventure imaginable" there is no sense of danger or suspense. In every bullshit scene its like, how can they make it out of this alive, yet in every freak'n scene they do. It is ridiculous. Peter Jackson makes this about as suspenseful as watching eggs boil
Humperdink - 4/17/2014, 10:39 AM
SauronsBANE1 - 4/17/2014, 10:40 AM
"I love every bot of it...the third is ganna blow me away also they are ganna be great prequels...You all are a bunch of winning lil britches...Oh quick remake it have Webb do it and he'll make everyone black and not hobbits then mebey you people will stop bitching..."

Yeah, if that is the level of education and intelligence that is possessed by most people who blindly defend these movies to the death...you're not really helping your case there, "BUB".
Humperdink - 4/17/2014, 10:49 AM
"Wait...does this family s**t directly into the lake?"

LOL!!

It appears they do.
Klone - 4/17/2014, 10:55 AM
SauronBANE... I love your comments about Smaug. I agree by the way on everything.

I simply love how Smaug was so intent on killing them and then when he has the chance to kill every single one of them he leaves.
Klone - 4/17/2014, 10:56 AM
*I love your comments about Desolation of Smaug
Klone - 4/17/2014, 10:57 AM
Let us not forget SauronBANE the bit where the massive stone structure falls to pieces and Bilbo is flung off to land on the stone floor like it is feathers.
Eol - 4/17/2014, 11:05 AM
I really enjoyed Desolation of Smaug, but this video was actually pretty funny
SauronsBANE1 - 4/17/2014, 11:07 AM
Haha thanks MAK. The only reason I'm so harsh on these movies is because I loved the LotR so much, and I really wanted to love the Hobbit movies as well. But they were just so...awful. Such a disappointment. Like you with MoS, I suppose!

But yeah seriously, Jackson managed to turn one of the most fearsome dragons to ever appear in the fantasy genre...into one of the most incompetent, idiotic villains of all time. There's countless times where all he needs to do is take one more step, or turn to his right, or just use his fire breath, or just close his mouth, and he could've wiped the Dwarves out. But nope! Gotta have as many close calls as possible without having any consequences whatsoever. Ugh.

And I did forget about that bit with Bilbo! The laws of physics apparently don't work in Middle-earth anymore, even though it did in the original LotR. The characters can fall hundreds of feet down cliffs, get flung off collapsing structures, get face-fulls of hard, spiky, sharp metal weapons (in the case of Thorin, at the end of the 1st movie)...all without getting a single scratch to show for it. That's probably the BEST way to make sure a movie has absolutely no tension or conflict. Ugh again!
GodzillaKart - 4/17/2014, 11:22 AM
I'm trying to think of a worse adaptation to film...ever...

Nope. I think this takes the cake.
GodzillaKart - 4/17/2014, 11:45 AM
Plus...what was that bit where Bilbo took the ring off?
Gigacrusher45 - 4/17/2014, 12:05 PM
I think I'll pass on this and enjoy my life.
Nomis1800 - 4/17/2014, 12:15 PM
lol the pronunciation is [frick]ing horrible in this one again
THEDARKKNIGHT1939 - 4/17/2014, 12:42 PM
The first one was better imo. This one was drawn out and went nowhere
damntree - 4/17/2014, 12:49 PM
If you haters were riding this films dick any harder you'd be its nutsack.
Eol - 4/17/2014, 12:59 PM
Ha ha ha Benny Hill that's freaking hilarious! I always tell my buddies each film has a major WTF moment. The first time I saw Radagast come roaring out of the trees yelling "come and get me!" on AUJ I was like what the hell is going on? And then again with that stupid furnace scene on DOS. I'm one of those fans that is "uneducated" because I defend the hobbit films as much as I can, but boy are they not perfect
SauronsBANE1 - 4/17/2014, 1:41 PM
@Eol, Oh trust me, I definitely wouldn't lump someone like you into the same category as someone like the other user I was addressing earlier. I was mostly poking fun at his blatant misspellings and barely-coherent sentences, and how that really doesn't make him look like someone in a position to intelligently defend anything. You certainly don't seem to be "uneducated" to me, and I apologize for insinuating that.

Hey, I don't mind if anyone likes the movies and feels compelled to defend them. As long as they recognize that it has plenty of flaws and isn't really even close to being perfect, then I have no problem! I love when people can rationally and logically talk about movies and not get too high or too low about any particular film, and you seem like that kind of person.
DefcoN - 4/17/2014, 2:24 PM
While funny, this EWW review was spot on. I still can't believe I don't like one Peter Jackson's Middle Earth movies. What a disappointment.
Eol - 4/17/2014, 3:22 PM
@SauronsBane1...absolutely right. The hobbit films are not without their flaws. But I still enjoy them very much and accept them as not being as great in quality as LOTR. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure that out lol. But as a piece of visual entertainment there is plenty there to behold! And I quite enjoy the story for what is there. Although I hope they have more Beorn and mirkwood in the extended version:/
marvel72 - 4/17/2014, 3:34 PM
this movie was miles better than the first.
TheSoulEater - 4/17/2014, 3:42 PM
Absolutely right!
CosmicLord - 4/17/2014, 3:43 PM
Movie certainly had a lot of flaws.

Though, I loved the first minutes of Bilbo sneaking on Smaug. And that's it.

I hope that, if they ever remake these movies, they make it full CGI animation.
Kyos - 4/17/2014, 5:37 PM
Desolation of Smaug managed to do a thing I didn't quite think possible - it made me appreciate An Unexpected Journey a whole lot more than before. After being let down by AUJ I hoped for DoS to win me back, cause it was to introduce my favourite characters from the book besides Bilbo (namely Beorn and Smaug).

They managed to reduce Beorn's role to a barely recognizable cameo and after a promising start turned Smaug into something little more threatening than the lady dragon from Shrek. But hey, instead we got some nice over the top action sequences, starring characters not from the book or even the lore at all.

Bah! >:(
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