First A Nightmare On Elm St Review

Here's the review.. remember, spoiler city!

The movie starts off at a diner with a boy at a table trying to stay awake while talking to his girlfriend about his nightmares (The girl is essentially Tina from the OG Nightmare). He falls asleep and Freddy comes in and forces him to slice his on throat with a steak knife in of her.

At this point I thought the movie had potential.

Next is the funeral where the Tina character (they changed her name to I don’t remember what) realizes from an old picture she sees of her boyfriend that she knew him as a child. She doesn’t remember knowing him before high school so she decides to investigate and then dies next to another boyfriend she has after sex.

The exact same way she dies in the original. Then he runs away to find Nancy to tell her about how she died, then gets arrested and is killed in his cell. This is where it gets dull.

Turns out Nancy and a handful of other kids there all went to the same pre-school and their parents thought they might have been molested by the gardener who lived in the preschool basement: Fred Krueger. When they talk to their kids about it they’re told about a secret cave Freddy takes them to.

On the word of their kids (who are 4 and 5 years old at the time) they hunt Freddy down and throw a lit can of Gas at him and kill him. Now Freddy is after all the kids who went to the Pre-School.

By this time there are only 2 kids still alive who had accused Freddy of touching them. Nancy and the Johnny Depp character. They travel to the old abandoned preschool break into Freddy’s old room in the basement. And the big reveal at the end of the movie? You’re going to have to watch the movie to find out.............

Just kidding save your money. Turns out he really did molest them... and he’s seeking revenge on all the kids that ratted him out. Nancy falls asleep and grabs him when she is woken up and brings him out of her dreams, then proceeds to beat him with a baseball bat and accidently sets him on fire again. Freddy’s dead and the Johnny Dep character survives with major scars on his chest. At this point everyone in the theater is glad its over... its not.

Then presumably weeks later Nancy with her arm in a sling from her battle is talking to her mom when out of nowhere Freddy grabs her mother through a Mirror and slices her head off. Roll Credits.

Nothing here worth seeing. They took a good movie and destroyed it. Then made Freddy’s burned face realistic and un scary at the same time. On top of that there was no cameo by Robert England anywhere to be found. One or two decent death scenes outside of that not worth watching. It almost seems like a made for cable movie.

The fun Freddy we remember who makes jokes at the expense of his victims is there but only at the last 10 minutes of the movie and by then it was too late. I was really hoping this movie was going to be good. I bet they are going try to make it PG-13 because there wasn’t that much gore or blood, no nudity, and I heard the work “[frick]” only once... so prepare yourself.

Call me the Anodizer.

Ok Anodizer. Ah well. No skin off my nose, I never thought it would be up to much. But if your a fan remember its just this dude's opinion..and for all you know he liked GI Joe!

Here's the new poster too.