COMICS: SPOILERS For AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #699

Can you think of the worst case scenario to come from Peter Parker being trapped in Dr. Octopus' body? Yes, that's it - no you were right the first time. Click on for possibly the grossest (funniest?) thing in the history of comics..

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By Mark "RorMachine" Cassidy - 12/5/2012
If you were in two minds about whether or not to pick up today's issue of Amazing Spider-Man, this will surely tip you one way or the other. Fist of all, it turns out Peter Parker - the real Parker, the one trapped in Otto Octavius' body - doesn't die after all. He is revived by a S.H.I.E.L.D medical team, and what follows is a flashback to what happened before the planned marriage of Aunt May and Otto Octavius.

Ah, just look..



Just in case you didn't get that, I'll spell it out for ya - Peter Parker, for all intents and purposes, shags his own Aunt May. I've been scarred for life! Be sure to pick up Amazing Spider-Man #699 today to see if the Earth moved.










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Angelus - 12/5/2012, 3:34 AM
Peter getting some! Good for him!
xcrementus - 12/5/2012, 3:40 AM
bahaha hilarious!

Its not Peter shagging his own aunt. Its Peter re-living Ock's memories (unfortunate for Peter!!) lol.

I've just been reading the old Aunt May/Doc Ock issues, so i found this particularly funny. Nice use of old continuity.
Kyos - 12/5/2012, 3:41 AM
...what?
AC1 - 12/5/2012, 3:43 AM
Wow... what were Marvel thinking... Dan Slott seems like a real hack.

And not only is it bad enough to resort to these kinds of sick, perverted shock-tactics, but to use them in the last issue of a 50 year run? This is a whole new low.

That is, assuming this is how it actually plays out (that Peter relives a memory of Doc Ock shagging his aunt).
xcrementus - 12/5/2012, 3:44 AM
the pic is out of context. Its Peter sorting through Ock's memories to figure out what's happening to him. It seems a lot of Ock's memories involve Spiderman's fist, so Peter tries looking for nice memories.

But he wishes he didn't lol. Aunt May, queen of cougars!!

Its not a gimmick, its not a shock tactic. Its just a hilariously awkward moment taken out of context.
xcrementus - 12/5/2012, 3:52 AM
no offence, but this article is way misleading. It's a one panel joke, taken wayyyyy out of proportion.

Doc Ock was gonna marry Aunt May. They had sex. Peter has his memories, and they make one teeny tiny joke about it. Its not shocking, its just awkwardly funny. Over the years there's been a million jokes like this regarding May & her boyfriends.
TheAmazingSpidey63 - 12/5/2012, 3:57 AM
Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwww.............................


LoL, watch @Tea come in soon and make a funny @$$ joke about this. :P
RorMachine - 12/5/2012, 4:00 AM
xcrementus, how is it out of context? Parker flashes back to Octopus boning his Aunt, and relives it - that's what is featured in the article.
xcrementus - 12/5/2012, 4:03 AM
i dunno, it just seems like the joke is framed to be the climax of the story or something. Its just a single panel joke, I don't really see the need for a big spoiler article about it. It's just a cliche`d "catch your parents having sex" moment, is all.
TheAmazingSpidey63 - 12/5/2012, 4:06 AM
But I'm with what @xcrementus said. Technically, Peter didn't shag Aunt May. That was just a memory he found in Doc Ock's mind and unfortunately, UNFORTUNATELY, Peter witnessed, first-hand, what went on between Aunt May and Octavius. LoL, I HOPE to God that when Peter gets transferred back into his own body and mind, he'll forget about what he had witnessed in Doc Ock's mind. >_<
wolverinesfury - 12/5/2012, 4:09 AM
Photobucket
xcrementus - 12/5/2012, 4:12 AM
haha i have a feeling that memory will be repressed....WAYYYYY repressed. now let us never speak of it again haha.
PS- now Peter has one more reason to punch Ock square in his wrinkly fragile face!
TheAmazingSpidey63 - 12/5/2012, 4:12 AM
@wolverinesfury - LOL!!! Loved that bit in the film. :)
jimoakley666 - 12/5/2012, 4:14 AM
Yeah, no need for that. Bit sick, really.
TheAmazingSpidey63 - 12/5/2012, 4:16 AM
@xcrementus - LMFAOOO!!!! No [frick]ing sh!t, dude. That will be buried and never spoken of.....Ever! Plus, Peter is gonna do more than just give that saggy sack o' sh!t a punch in the face.......He's gonna [frick]ing murder his @$$. XD
xcrementus - 12/5/2012, 4:20 AM
ala Charlie in Always Sunny In Philadelphia..."did you f*** my mom Doc Ock? DID YOU F*** MY MOM DOC OCK?!?!?!?!"
TheAmazingSpidey63 - 12/5/2012, 4:20 AM
I agree, though. There really was no need for...THAT, Marvel. Again, could've thought of something better than that.
TheAmazingSpidey63 - 12/5/2012, 4:23 AM
@xcrementus -- Hahaha!!! Oh, God....... XD
xcrementus - 12/5/2012, 4:24 AM
its not like Peter is sitting there watching the show from start to finish. its like sorting through a bag of potatoes and finding one rotten one, going AAAAGH! and throwing it away. (fruit shop analogy, i know, its weird lol).
TheAmazingSpidey63 - 12/5/2012, 4:30 AM
@darkmetal - AMEN!! I'm very surprised to see that Marvel would allow this to 1) let this go through and allowed to be edited and 2) to have this happen their #1 (and MY #1) superhero. Watch Dan Slott tweet some stupid excuse for......THIS.
TheAmazingSpidey63 - 12/5/2012, 4:33 AM
@xcrementus - And let's hope that Peter threw that nightmare away FAST.
orpheus - 12/5/2012, 4:39 AM
I love when fanboys become self righteous church ladies. Keep going,
Idiots.
Spideyguy94 - 12/5/2012, 4:40 AM
This is why dan slott should NOT be writing spider-man, he does not get him at all, he'll write him as too jokey and incompetent or over serious. Doc ock is not a complete evil bastard, he does have a moral code that he stands by. For example when he found out Peter was spider-man before this he told him that there antagonism was between them two and no one else, and that he wouldn't go after his family.
SimplyJoshuaJames - 12/5/2012, 4:50 AM
You people are [frick]ing idiot's... It's almost amusing to watch if you didn't sound so stupid...
SuperSomething616 - 12/5/2012, 5:02 AM
Yeah cause thats what it meant with Aunt May being in her wedding dress...

I am sure it means something else...but this shows out Peter will get out of this situation...he obviously has access to Otto's memories as well...so he's looking for a solution as to how he did the mind swap...once its done he'll reveal to S.H.I.E.L.D who is...utter some Avengers security codes to confirm his identity...then after the final confontation they'll reverse the mind swap...
RorMachine - 12/5/2012, 5:07 AM
What we didn't show you was the next panel - Peter actually begins to enjoy the memory - a little too much if ya get my meaning..

He wanks.
rebellion - 12/5/2012, 5:17 AM
^i honestly can't tell if that's a joke or not. my mind is still recovering.
Adriel - 12/5/2012, 5:19 AM
"I DON'T WANNA LIVE IN THIS PLANET ANYMORE"
xcrementus - 12/5/2012, 5:22 AM
I also kinda see this joke as poking fun of the absurdity of May & Ock almost marrying in the first place. Even now im reading the old issues and i'm like "WTF how did this seem like a good idea?"
SUPERSHADOWBAT - 12/5/2012, 5:26 AM
Awkward.
tripttwe - 12/5/2012, 5:44 AM
B U L L S H I T.
TheMarvelWay - 12/5/2012, 5:46 AM
@TheAmazingSpidey63 Slott is Tweeting already and seems proud of himself.

@others And guess what, when I say "shock" or "stunt" this is what I mean. This crap creates an online stir and really thats all Marvels got under the hood.

Marvel Films is able to produce great entertainment and make 1.5 billion off of 1 film while Marvel keeps playing these games and selling an average of less than 50k per title a month. Some of their titles are under 20k.
Whats the difference? Marvel Films creates Entertainment largely based on ideas created by Marvel when they did the same.
sackboy1991 - 12/5/2012, 5:49 AM
I know its not Peter literally doing his aunt, and to be honest, walking in on parents is probably a normal thing, but this is just wrong. I just dont get why it had to be included in a spider-man comic. Even if it is one of the memories of Octavius, octavius may have had sex with t-rex for all we know, but we dont need to see this stuff. In what was is this essential to story telling. The writer has a weird sense of humor, if im honest. Its just its spider-man! IDK!
mgeoff88 - 12/5/2012, 5:51 AM
Dear God! Hasn't Peter Parker been through enough? And I thought BND was bad!

@TheAmazingSpidey I'm glad you explained that it was only a memory, but still... This is sick. What's Marvel doing over there?

I remember Joe Quesada joked about doing an issue of Spider-Man where Aunt May walks in on Peter watching porn. That would be less gross than this.
samsupes - 12/5/2012, 5:58 AM
Marvel movie division: GOOD

Marvel comic division: BAD
silverpaladin - 12/5/2012, 6:00 AM
Well considering May maybe anywhere 4-10 years older than Otto this does not seem that much outta place. But Peter well Otto is a villian....
sikwon - 12/5/2012, 6:08 AM
Its funny!
LordHuck - 12/5/2012, 6:16 AM
Funny stuff.
jasonicus - 12/5/2012, 6:18 AM
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Holy crap.
HavocPrime - 12/5/2012, 6:29 AM
Man that is twisted lmao
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