The Main Reason Batman v. Superman Will Probably Be a Big Bag of Suck

My anticipation for the new 'Batman v. Superman' film has my gut bubbling like a case of explosive diarrhea, as I layout my case for why this movie is simply going to be a big bag of suck.

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By mikecantrell83 - 6/9/2014


batman v superman

When I first heard the news that the follow-up to 2013’s
Man of Steel was going to be centered around a battle of biblical proportions between two of the most legendary comic book heroes of all time, I had a complete and total nerdgasm.


My brain was aflutter with blissful thoughts of scenes from Frank Miller’s The Dark Knight Returns, a comic book classic akin to Shakespeare’s Hamlet, played out in glorious high definition at the local IMAX.


I imagined gleefully watching Batman and Superman pound each other into oblivion, with Gotham City being left in a fiery heap of ashes. I felt as if I’d been teased with a glimpse into the afterlife, as if taken by the hand by some incredibly beautiful angel that strangely resembled a young Angelina Jolie, and was given a chance to place my hands on the pearly gates that would one day give way to an eternity of mind-blowing pleasures that I couldn’t even fathom.


And then a few weeks later my hopes, dreams, and fantasies came crashing down like a film critics opinion on the latest Michael Bay film. Over the coming months, the production was plagued by problems, which shot my confidence in the movie to such a degree that I’m now thoroughly convinced this film is going to be a big bag of suck.


What convinced me to switch my position you ask? Here’s the main reason why I’m positive that a turd in a brown paper bag lit on fire will be better than Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice:


DC/Warner Bros. has not taken the time to establish a shared universe.


Allow me to elaborate.


When Warner Bros. and DC first announced the movie, it was just supposed to feature Batman and Superman, which was cool. The filmmakers hinted at a shared universe for these two heroes in Man of Steel, with shots of the Wayne Industries logo on the satellites in space during the final brawl between Supes and Zod.


While they hadn’t established a reboot yet for Batman, seeing as the Nolan trilogy just finished up a few years ago, this seemed decent enough to introduce the idea to audiences that Batman and Superman existed on the same earth at the same time.


Then they started introducing a butt ton of other characters, mostly those from the DC universe that make up the Justice League. Many of the new heroes and villains they plan on jamming into this movie have not had a proper cinematic introduction through an individual stand alone film to help familiarize the character with audiences who may be unfamiliar with the character’s backstory.


This is where Marvel beats the hell out of DC like a redheaded stepchild. Marvel Studios has had the idea to create a shared, connected universe since Iron Man, and they have executed their plan with almost flawless perfection (minus Iron Man 2).


They introduced each of their characters in a stand alone film, helped audiences connect with them, and then began showing how each movie connected together. Once the foundation for a shared universe was laid, Marvel brought it home with The Avengers. Fans cared about the characters because they already knew who they were.


DC has failed miserably here, but this is not their fault. No, the blame for this fumble on the one-yard-line belongs with Warner Bros., who is notorious for killing the franchises it owns. Think about it. Warner Bros. owns Bugs Bunny and the Looney Tunes. Literally some of the most popular cartoon characters in history, yet they don’t do diddly squat with the franchise.


It’s obvious that Warner Bros. is desperately trying to play catch up to Marvel, who passed them up light years ago. The problem is that in their haste, they’ve elected to forego establishing the universe and have opted to jam characters into Batman v. Superman like creepy circus clowns crammed into those tiny cars.


Look at the disaster that was Spider-Man 3. Enough said.


Now, I admit that there is an astronomically small chance that I could be way off base here. This film could end up being the greatest comic book movie of all time. Granted, there is a greater chance of monkeys flying out of my butt and playing the organ grinder for money, but there’s still a chance.


I really hope that by some miracle of divine intervention the powers that be will create a movie that will be awesome. Seriously. I want this movie to rock. I’m just not confident in Warner Bros. to pull it off. Who knows though, I could end up pleasantly surprised.


What do you guys think? Are you excited about Batman v. Superman? Are you convinced it’s going to suck or do you think it’s going to be the greatest comic movie ever made? Sound off below!


Source: MetaComix
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Highflyer - 6/9/2014, 2:05 PM
You do realize this isn't a justice league movie right. We had a movie with superman, now we are having a movie with batman and superman. don't see the big deal.
yossarian - 6/9/2014, 2:10 PM
It can't be any worse that the Phantom Menace.
RedNTheHood - 6/9/2014, 2:10 PM


#IGNORANCE IS NOT BLISS

MrBlackjack - 6/9/2014, 2:11 PM
I can already tell what kind of thread this'll be...
Brainiac13 - 6/9/2014, 2:11 PM
Nice pic Mike......But.....You're wrong! ;)
JoeMomma29 - 6/9/2014, 2:12 PM
LMAO!

Here is the big difference people do not need to be introduced to most of the DC characters because most or all people know the following the characters.....

1. Superman

2. Batman

3. Wonder Woman

4. Flash

5. Green Lantern

Sorry but the mass audience need to get to know IM, Thor, Black Widow, and Hawkeye because they had no idea who the hell they were!

Brainiac13 - 6/9/2014, 2:12 PM
Now, I admit that there is an astronomically small chance that I could be way off base here. This film could end up being the greatest comic book movie of all time. Granted, there is a greater chance of monkeys flying out of my butt and playing the organ grinder for money, but there’s still a chance.

Moohika - 6/9/2014, 2:13 PM
For every Spider-Man 3, there is a Days of Future Past. If you give each character their moment it can work.
Brainiac13 - 6/9/2014, 2:14 PM

JOE!!!!!




You're Back......Where have you been?
Brainiac13 - 6/9/2014, 2:14 PM
Joe speaks the Truth!! :)
Moohika - 6/9/2014, 2:14 PM
I'm tired of the Iron Man 2 excuse. Just because Marvel [frick]ed that up, doesn't mean everyone else who tries to add in more characters will.
Brainiac13 - 6/9/2014, 2:15 PM
I'm waiting for the [frick]ING reveal.........and I get this article. :(
WinterSoldier33 - 6/9/2014, 2:16 PM
what jomamma said
mikecantrell83 - 6/9/2014, 2:18 PM
The problem is that COMIC FANS know what's up with WW and GL, but people who don't read comics won't have a clue, and believe it or not, comic fans aren't the only ones who go watch these movies. Shocking, I know.
Emblemmaniac - 6/9/2014, 2:18 PM


"Look at the disaster that was Spider-Man 3. Enough said."

Look at Days of Future past, a masterpiece with a LOT of charachters. Enough said
Knightrider - 6/9/2014, 2:20 PM
I have always thought Avengers proved the notion build up movies are not needed. It made close to 2Bil, so a lot of the audience had not seen all, if any, of the previous films.

If you look at say Star Wars, that didn't need build up movies to establish Han, Luke, Vader, Obi-Wan, Leia, Chewbacca, the Myriad of other characters, and the overall concept of the force? Marvel's shared universe is great, but it seems to have confused people into thinking that a film can't have more than two characters in it without the audience wondering why they haven't had a solo movie.

As for Spider-man 3 the problem there was Raimi had his story and the Execs had theirs and they forced him to do something he did not want to.
Brainiac13 - 6/9/2014, 2:20 PM
@Mike

My daughter is 7 years old.......She knows who WW is!

She has NEVER read a comic book.........
Brainiac13 - 6/9/2014, 2:21 PM
The whole world knows WW.....just Like Batman & Superman.

And you don't need to read a comic to know who they are! ;)
Brainiac13 - 6/9/2014, 2:22 PM
JOE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
mikecantrell83 - 6/9/2014, 2:22 PM
@Brainiac....does she know her backstory? Really? Wait...what was that? She doesn't?

I'm not talking about name recognition. I'm talking about actually knowing who the character IS and what they're about. BIG DIFFERENCE
mikecantrell83 - 6/9/2014, 2:23 PM
Also don't forget people. THIS IS MY OPINION. Nothing more. Just in case fanboys come and get hostile lol
Scorpion8125 - 6/9/2014, 2:25 PM
I don't think it will be good.

Casting and the overall direction of things scream WRONG to me.

A trippy hippy dot.com LexCorp? yech!

Buttflack - The general audience will not take this smirking, self-loving as$Hat seriously in this role. Plus after this movie in 2 years, then a Justice League movie, Then Man of Steel sequel, by the time we get to Batman movies, this guy will be pushing 60!

Wonder Woman is a shrimpy tiny hot chick. Gag!

Luthor is snarky little Luthor boy? Will he insult & debate our heroes to death?

Lois Lane - Amy Adams great actress terrible Lois. She looks a good 15 years older than Supes, and she isn't getting younger. If they let Diane Lane have her makeup, she would be the one inspiring the super boners on set.

I will say Cavill is a fantastic Superman. But they better have one EPIC movie to overcome all the sh!tty casting.

I see it now. In 2016, at a theater near you,

A 2 HOUR LONG JUSTICE LEAGUE COMMERCIAL!!!!!!!

Knightrider - 6/9/2014, 2:27 PM
Avengers still opened with scenes that established each hero as if the audience had not met them before. Heck, Loki flat out said "The Solider, the man out of time" well, Cap had a solo movie so that line wasn't for fans of those movies it was for the general audience.

This movie and JL will do the same.

Brainiac13 - 6/9/2014, 2:27 PM
The average person is not Dum......We live in a age of Technology.....Smartphones/Iplops Etc......they will Google/Wiki to find out more info.....They still don't need to read a comic book to find out info on a character...
Poolio - 6/9/2014, 2:28 PM
I have faith, DOFP had 3x as many characters and they did a fantastic job handling all of them.
mikecantrell83 - 6/9/2014, 2:28 PM
@Scorpion....I don't mind Affleck as Batman, though Gordot as WW is a mystery to me. I also like Cavill as Supes.

Not crazy about Eisenberg as Luthor either, but I'm open-minded that he could do a good job. I think if they slowed their role and just did supes and bats, it would be phenomenal. Let that relationship build, then create a stand alone for Flash and Wonder Woman, introducing other JL members in those movies respectively, THEN do a full JL movie.

My opinion only lol.
Omarvls - 6/9/2014, 2:28 PM
This movie is going to be EPIC

I cannot wait
Poolio - 6/9/2014, 2:29 PM
Wait, so did Hawkeye and Black Widow have a solo movie before Avengers? I must have missed them.
mikecantrell83 - 6/9/2014, 2:30 PM
DOFP also had a fantastic director and writer. Plus, the X-Men have been around for a long time and people are familiar with the characters and actors who play them.

This movie is a rush job and art that's rushed usually comes out looking like a steaming pile of dog crap.
mikecantrell83 - 6/9/2014, 2:30 PM
@Poolio....reading is fundamental.

@Scorpion....I don't mind Affleck as Batman, though Gordot as WW is a mystery to me. I also like Cavill as Supes.

Not crazy about Eisenberg as Luthor either, but I'm open-minded that he could do a good job. I think if they slowed their role and just did supes and bats, it would be phenomenal. Let that relationship build, then create a stand alone for Flash and Wonder Woman, introducing other JL members in those movies respectively, THEN do a full JL movie.
Read more at http://www.comicbookmovie.com/fansites/MetaComix83/news/?a=101580#9uFdJM2DtZvXpQbZ.99
Knightrider - 6/9/2014, 2:31 PM
@Mike, Let's say I didn't watch Cap America, I now don't know his backstory, but Avengers still established it. Let's say I missed Iron Man, I still know he is a man in a armoured suit. Heck Hulk wasn't a box office smash, I didn't see half the audience leave when he changed as they hadn't seen his origin story.

A movie, even a sequel is self contained, so it still caters for new and existing audiences.

I still don't know how Hawk Eye became Hawk Eye.
DeathstrokeTerminator - 6/9/2014, 2:32 PM
Yeah...being delayed a year is "a rush job"
DeathstrokeTerminator - 6/9/2014, 2:33 PM
Very true @Knightrider
mikecantrell83 - 6/9/2014, 2:34 PM
@Batfleck....if they do it in small doses, then in my opinion, there's a small chance it could be good, but I still think it would've been better to establish the universe first before going in for a team movie.

Now, they can still make it work if they do as you say, but I don't trust the suits at WB to use common sense. Although, since they do have a deep interest in making profit, they might spend less time on the additional heroes and focus on bats and supes. Who knows!
mikecantrell83 - 6/9/2014, 2:34 PM
I guess I shouldn't have bashed this movie by the fanboy response lol.
Knightrider - 6/9/2014, 2:35 PM
@Mike sorry don't mean to hound, but your argue net for DOFP being good was a fantastic writer, well this has an academy award winning writer, you can mention Goyer doing story, well Zak Penn did Avengers story, but we know how Credits on movies can be agreed and don't mean they used the final product.

As for certain cast members being a mystery is because you write like you know facts about a movie when you know very little. Both read for the roles, and were right for the job.. Simple.

As for being rushed, they pushed the movie back to ensure that wasn't the case.
mikecantrell83 - 6/9/2014, 2:36 PM
A lot of you guys bring up good points, stuff I hadn't even thought of. Thanks for sharing!

I still have my reservations about this movie, and I still think it'd be better to establish the universe through stand alone films, but you might be right. It could be a stellar movie. We'll see!
MrBlackjack - 6/9/2014, 2:37 PM
I'm not sure if I want to rebuttal some points and then promptly get called a troll later on today, or if I want to just watch.
mikecantrell83 - 6/9/2014, 2:39 PM
@Knightrider....nowhere did I say for a fact these people sucked in the role. I said I wasn't thrilled with the choice. THAT IS A FACT.

Now if they are good, awesome. I was wrong. I just don't see it on Eisenberg and Gordot.

Nowhere in the article did I mention casting being a problem. I actually think that's what they got right for the most part.

As far as Goyer....winning awards doesn't make you a good writer. Just saying.
mikecantrell83 - 6/9/2014, 2:40 PM
@MrBlackJack....sharing your opinion is not being a "troll."

Feel free to rip my work to shreds. That's the point of sharing an opinion. If nobody expresses different ideas, there's no room for growth.
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